On Labour Day Weekend, I am in the middle of enjoying a four day weekend thanks to having Friday off for some strange reason that I’m not going to argue with my employer about. I decided to organize a golf tournament on Friday with some coworkers for fun, pride, and shit-talking.
Apparently, there used to be regular athletic contests between departments/units like softball, basketball, and bowling for fun and comradery. Alas, management changed and those things were discouraged and eventually completely went away.
I want to bring that back as morale is low. These are not easy times in the workforce. HR has become so powerful that you can’t do anything fun in the office like put up nudie posters in the walls of the workshops, blast your radio in the yard, or whistle at hot girls as they pass by.
I blame Obama.
All kidding aside, COVID did change things greatly in terms of work relationships. I think that’s part of why some companies are trying to bring everyone back into the office. However, I think that’s the wrong answer. My goal is to provide that outlet for building work relationships and improving morale by creating activities outside of work that people could participate in, feel comfortable doing, and use to get to know people better.
Since we are all ancient, (seriously a huge wave of staff will retire within 5 years, including me) golf was the chosen sport/activity. The rules were as follows:
- Two-person teams representing a department/unit
- Better Ball format (Each person plays their own ball. At the end of the hole, the better score is the Team Score)
- Teams from the same unit/department could not be in the same foursome (because cheating)
- I bought a trophy out of my own pocket for the winners to proudly display at work for all to see and admire.
But more like
I have Carpenter friends. I’ll get them to make it super snazzy.
The Better Ball format is interesting because there is some strategy involved. If your partner hits a bad shot or loses a ball, the pressure is on you now to hit a good one as the team score now depends on you. On the positive side, if you come through and save the team score and you both do that for each other, they call it Ham and Egg and I have no idea why but it’s a good thing.
One of the guys that used to work for me and is now retired has influence in one of the local golf courses and he was able to set everything up for us. All I had to do was show up, greet everyone, and play.
I was playing with my retired buddy and we were the first group to tee off. We were paired up with two guys who I had heard were the best players in the entire company.
You all know I’m not good by any stretch of the imagination. My buddy is somewhere around a 12 handicap. The guys we were playing were in the single handicap range. I think one was a 4 and the other was an 8.
We started out pretty well as both teams got bogeys on the first hole. I myself scored a double bogey, so I wasn’t that far off the pace.
On the third hole, my buddy got a disaster 9 but I managed to get a Bogey so I felt good about being able to contribute. As the front nine went on, my buddy started to warm up and we (well, really HE) started shooting some pars.
The other guys, however, really got going. The only thing keeping us within shouting distance was the fact that they kept missing birdie putts.
At the turn, we were 7 strokes behind but we were playing better. Plus, they were tiring a bit. Their shots weren’t going as far and their accuracy was falling off.
Suddenly, we caught fire. We had a string of pars (one was mine!) and a couple of birdie attempts that just missed.
However, the boys in the other cart found a new gear. They got 5 birdies in the back and only a single bogey prevented them shooting under par for the entire round.
They shot even par for the tourney and took the trophy.
We finished with a great score on the Back Nine (as you know that’s my preferred Nine). In fact that score was better than the other guys’ Front Nine score. We finished in fourth place.
Afterwards, we stuck around and waited for everyone to finish. Guys were telling stories about work and sharing lessons learned. Phone numbers were exchanged and I heard some of the group went to lunch and drinks afterwards. It was exactly what I had envisioned.
PROS
I was the very first customer of the lovely cart girl that was wearing a skirt so short all I could see was her white underwear. Yes, she got a nice tip.
I played decently. I have mentioned before that playing with people that are better than you is good for improvement and this was certainly the case. I learned a lot watching my buddy and the other guys play. It was also great motivation to get better.
I managed to get two pars!
CONS
It was a team event, so the score did not count towards my handicap.
I lost a few balls.
OVERALL RATING:
I felt good about my golf but I felt better about how everyone enjoyed the event and wants to do it again. I’m thinking next year’s event will be in June as too many people decided to go away for the long weekend. I want next year’s event to have more participation so it can build on itself and become an annual tradition once I’m retired.
I again used Driver sparingly. I think I only hit it twice. I’m more comfortable with my 1 iron and that’s my safety club when I need to hit a shot around 200 yards.
I am also understanding the importance of the short game. I lose and gain the most shots in the short game. If I can sharpen that up, I’ll be able to shoot lower scores more consistently.
I think Rikki has finished the golf cart girl story, but I’ll stay tuned to see if there is an Epilogue or if the missing sex scene somehow magically reappears.
See you next time.
Since this is an Open Thread, feel free to discuss the LSU-FSU game. What’s better, F or L?
This is an awesome idea! I bet it’ll sell HUNDREDS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6m6WlyiQSs
On one hand – retro gaming’s still rather popular, but on the other, relying on the customer still retaining his/her old cartridges is beyond stupid as it’s limiting the potential customer base. Now, if they left the ability to use cartridges alongside a decently sized library of preloaded and properly licensed games (or better yet, a library + the option to buy and download classic games) that’d be a different story, but as it stands.. Again, stupid.
I think it is quite literally a scam, too. THey raised funding but never made and/or delivered the product.
If that’s so, then it’s unfortunate for all their backers that didn’t learn their lesson that backing shit on Kickstarter (et al) is about as reliable as betting advice from Hippo. Still, let’s be charitable and assume that it’s less actual malice (aka theft) and more of general incompetence, because even with a product at the prototype stage going to volume production is hard (and expensive).
Hard to keep track of all the Atari reboots in the last few years, so maybe this one is different. Doesnt change the fact that you can buy a “retro game console thing” from china for $20 that comes with all the games anyway
I’ve got one. When I showed that video to my wife, she said, “Don’t we have one of those that you never played?” Hey! I played it once!
The real problem with Kickstarter isn’t all the ripoffs (although that happens). It’s that products tend to suck. For instance, boardgames get made that look awesome, have a great idea, but get released half-baked. There will be minimal development or QA effort, and you end up with a really pretty game that turns out to be no fun.
This one looks different? Google “Atari retro November”.
It doesn’t matter though – just google ‘stella’ and ‘atari roms’. Ten minutes of effort and you’ll find out why this should be in the past. Awesome games, back in the 70’s.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLV4f0TlkFg&ab_channel=AJS
Just chased the neighbors cows out of my yard, barefoot and accompanied by a 65 lb. dog, through the other neighbor’s property, around the back of it, and into yet another person’s empty field. It is 1:00 am.
Just in case you wondered how useful it is to call the police, who I will remind you could not find 3 cows, each weighing over 1,000 lbs, that I not only found within a minute but called the police, 5 hours ago, and told them exactly where the cows were.
“Oh no, what would we do without police?” Either stand around and do nothing or take matters into your own hands, which is what we pretty much have to do now with police, only without them I wouldn’t have to fund their undeserved pensions and the settlements for the constant lawsuits their behavior brings on.
Don’t mind me. It’s late, my feet are cold, and I’m in a bit of a mood.
You just reminded me I was toying with the idea of having a Manhattan. I’m not so sure now, though, it’s getting pretty late. Would you mind being a pal and having one on my behalf?
I’ve had a margarita and a 10.5% beer. Anything like a Manhattan and I’m likely to wind up at the cattle guy’s house. Sadly, you are on your own.
THIS RTD I CALL HIM VINCE YOUNG BECAUSE HE TOYS WITH HAVING IDEAS!
I don’t know why you expected explicit details of my night with the drink cart girl – what happens in the winning team’s Super Bowl locker room stays in the winning team’s Super Bowl locker room.
By way of consolation, here’s some loser that claims to have a 2.8 handicap shanking his approach shot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N__9OC7Vsr8
Evening folks. Best ball tournaments are the best.
That’s a great joke. Not ashamed to say it.
also it’s sexy
Self-portrait in front of vintage automotive building adjacent to Ford Piquette Avenue factory, where the Model-T was designed and first built:
Here’s the Nissan pickup truck I was driving! I’ve never driven a pickup truck before, but it was fun and I felt like a good ol’ boy, haw haw haw. I only had it as a rental my last day in Detroit, for reasons that are a long and exciting story.
Oh, and here’s Pueblo CO, looking south down the road from Denver:
The Illuminati got to our cars!
LSU gonna move up to 4 in the rankings because the rest of the SEC won so big this weekend
Best friend Jersey Mike and his beautiful wife just saw Iris DeMent live.
I’m humbled.
Loved him on Pimp My Ride
Oh wow, just had one of his sub’s for dinner.
Please come home Internet Dad. We miss you.
Her sister Creme is better.
Also, the theme for The Leftovers was perfect
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlaoR5m4L80&ab_channel=tomtscotland
I would be hard pressed to name a better show than the Leftovers.
That shit hit home.
Great musical choice.
This Jelena Ostapenko I call her an amateur stripper because she’s getting destroyed by this pole.
Like any stripper, this is not holding up well over time.
It was actually that bastion of anti-Federalism, New York!
https://www.cntraveler.com/story/this-new-york-town-seceded-from-the-us-and-forgot-to-rejoin
THIS CHAD KELLEY, I CALL HIM CUSTER BECAUSE HE’S GETTING DESTROYED BY THE NATIVES
*BRIAN
**KELLY
methinks you need MOAR freezer vodka
Other Hippo, you are absolutely correct.
Also, this Chad Kelly reference is the fault of The Maestro’s CFL weekly propaganda.
I keep sayin dat one SMRT MUTHAFUCKA
Limbo!
All around the limbo clock…
Mic on that assistant coach talking to #2 – Son, I am serious. You are allowed to use your hands.
COACH PRIME is going to take over Florida State, and move them into the XFL.
Football talkin’ guy just referenced Sportscenter as if it’s still a culturally relevant thing. Put him out to pasture for that one.
Sportscaster used to be great.
Thank god ESPN got rid of it in favor of a constant parade of braying jackasses.
The thing is, an actual parade of braying jackasses would be infinitely more compelling than their current programming.
FSU-LSU (artist’s conception)
Chicago, IL
5 minutes ago
OMG, there’s the Doktor’s condo!
Looks like the great lakes. Beautiful shot.
This is looking south. Lake Michigan is to the left, Gary IN is top left. Navy Pier is sticking out into the lake from downtown. O’Hare airport is just peeking in at frame right.
When I took this photo the plane was directly over Great Lakes IL where I went to Navy boot camp many years ago. Great Lakes is the only facility that is properly called “boot camp.” Other services use it colloquially but they are wrong. So if someone says they went to boot camp and they didn’t go to Great Lakes, you can point at them sternly and call them a liar.
Isn’t using it in an admittedly colloquial way restrict the ability for other services to use is wrong ‘wrong’.
Unless we get to all be sticklers; in which case I want to point out all the fatties, cowards, and broads we call ‘soldiers’.
Wait, ‘The Golden Bachelor’ is real, and not some SNL spoof?
We really are in End Times.
Seriously. They’ll show ANYTHING with the strike going on.
Are people not aware that can outside and do literally anything else?
ssshhhhh! The advertisers might hear you!
Nah, we were already doing reprehensible “reality” shows before the strike too. MILF manor or Love/Temptation island, Naked and Affraid… Only difference is that with the strike (and the WGA’s coffers running on fumes) that we may actually get a real-life Squid game or Running man. 100 writers enter, 1 leaves .. with a 20 mil a year for the next decade “first look” contract with Netflix 😀
I hope the female contestants are all mid-twenties skanks, and they refer to them as “diggers” or some such.
I did you a favor and looked them up. All ladies from 60 to 75, average age 64 I think (just a guess). All looking pretty good for their age. Still hope for ‘digger’ though.
I’d told my wife years ago we should be on that show. As a married couple competing to win the Bachelorette against all these fuckboys. I have jokes for all the different scenarios…
Tell you this, it’d be 1000x more entertaining and educational than Old Fucks here.
I have no idea how my life didn’t turn out like this.
There was some story a few years ago about two other idiots who decided to see if a bullet-proof vest would stop a knife.
It did not.
The problem is that nothing if bulletproof. It’s bullet resistant, but even then for a limited number of hits and only if the gear’s been stored correctly (that goes both for kevlar AND the inserts). Plus, the vest doesn’t eliminate kinetic energy, it just spreads it over a larger impact area, so… uhhh it still hurts like a motherfucker and can still kill you if it hits just wrong enough 😀 Same way non-lethal weaponry only exists in poorly written movies, unlike “less lethal” (ie a rubber bullet isn’t normally lethal, but hit someone on the head with one, or even just the torso from close in… 😉 ) which is part of any cop’s basic kit.
Ain’t got a friend.
THIS MR. AYO, I CALL HIM LAHAINA BECAUSE HE JUST GOT BURNT TO THE GROUND
Tuck Rule!
I’m not trying to make fun of NC State here, but having gone to the UConn-Wolfpack game and now watching LSU-FSU this isn’t even the same sport.
That’s why I don’t mind the conference realignment stuff that is happening. The cold truth is that the FBS should really be split up into two groups and there are not a lot of teams that belong in the top group. Maybe 40?
I’ve seen some arguments for NCAA football going with a multiple league/relegation scheme and I love the idea. But it would never, ever, ever work.
Ever.
Also I doubt it’s even 40, if you’re talking about teams with a realistic chance at the play-offs each year. 20 would be about it, and that’s probably stretching it.
Also NIL and the transfer window would create chaos every year.
The next logical step is something like a “A/B/C pod” system, complete with centralized scheduling. They really, really need to run football unlike any other sport. It’s the JV NFL, like we’ve long called it.
yeah, we’d have maybe 1 or 2 players on LSU’s 2-deep, and they’re basically the 5th or 6th best team in their conference
The difference is size, and especially speed, is just so noticeable.
everybody can find “big” or “fast” – it’s changing that “or” to an “and.”
Never been a dessert person really. Not my thing but I have been trying some stuff lately.
You know what’s a solid dessert?
Carrot cake.
Haven’t had it in years but had some today.
Had a chilled pinot grigio?
Might have another bite. That shit’s good.
Carrot cake is good because it’s not overwhelmingly sweet. Plus carrots=nutrition!
I eat carrots at least five days a week.
It IS nutritious!
Can’t watch the Yankees due to Disney and Spectrum’s slap fight, so LSU-FSU it is.
Let’s go team not coached by Brian Kelly!
FSU offensive line is about as robust as the levees around Lake Pontchartrain
LSU’s short yardage plays are now 1 for their last 12.
#DoucheStrong
Brian Kelly’s offense really needs the wind behind it to get anything done.
I’ve honestly no idea how LSU ain’t up 42-7 already
This is a very entertainingly terrible fixture. One suspects these two should pencil in “late December, Orlando/Tampa” in the old day planner.
Now that the networks will air absolutely anything, I’mma pitch Fox on “Crazy Bitch”
I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but. my neighbor has his three cows wandering the neighborhood again. Tonight I’m coming back with the dog on his walk and I see two State troopers cruising up and down the road spotlighting the fields. In the field behind my house I see a pick-up cruising slowly up and down.
It’s obvious they’re looking for the cattle.
I get home, ask my wife, (who I’m pretty sure is going to shoot them, or the owner, very soon), if she called the cops. Nope. So it’s pretty clear that someone almost hit one as they crossed the street in the dark and called it in.
Anyway, the cops drive away, managing not to see three cows, two of whom go 1,500 lbs+. The pick-up disappears. I go back outside with a flashlight, shine the light at a set of bushes and see three pairs of eyes, which I quickly determine are attached to three cows. In less than a minute.
I call the local barracks. “Hi! You guys just have two troopers looking for three cows?”
“Yes”
“Found ’em!”
Hopefully dispatch will call the owner, or his worker, and have them rounded up. If not I suspect the troopers may just shoot them.
It is purely amazing that y’all ain’t Sons of the South.
Northeast CT is about as far from everyone’s idea of what CT is as it can get and not actually be in Alabama.
Mansfield has UConn, which makes a big difference, but step a town or two east and it’s a different world.
ah mean, yew and the missus ain’t even RUDE!
Ppl forget that the Northeast was the first to threaten Secession in like 1801 because they didnt want to be ruled by coastal elites in one state that made up 75% of the national economy…
I thought New England also made noise about leaving during the build up to the War of 1812 because some embargo or another was taking money out of their pockets. Been a while since I did any reading on that era.
But yes, never underestimate what a bunch of contentious pricks Yankee farmers can be.
Didnt some town in New Hampshire secede with the rest of the south, and didnt “officially’ reljoin the Union until the 21st century? Or maybe that was a West Wing episode
Wikipedia doesn’t mention it, so I’m going West Wing.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Hampshire_in_the_American_Civil_War
But to be clear, I could totally see a number of New Hampshire towns, (and don’t get me started on Northeast Vermont; holy fuck), doing that.
I think I read that Vermont is the most rural state in the union.
I’d be surprised, but would need to know how they’re defining “rural,” as opposed to forested/wilderness, (i.e. Maine or Alaska), or just “really kinda empty but we keep them around so that the GOP can rule the Senate,” (Wyoming, pick a Dakota)
A friend of mine from high school went to college in Middlebury. I went there for his graduation.
The last leg of the flight was in a prop plane and then it was a two hour drive through nothing but trees.
Okay maybe not two hours but it sure felt like it.
“Just 3? That’s a rounding error for my second breakfast.”
-a salivating Andy Reid
Underrated part of opening week of CFB is that we get to start piecing together how they’ve randomized the Targeting rules for the season, who knows what’ll get called this year!
FSU with the intriguing strategy of “headhunt on every single play, and dare ’em to call every one.”
God, I hate cheering for Brian “Murder* Coach” Kelly’s LSU. But needs must.
*and really, I guess “manslaughter” would be a fairer description, and who doesn’t have a few of THOSE under one’s belt?
*Craig James checks the lock on his car’s trunk nervously*
HR has become so powerful
This is something that is so curious. I deal with a few multi-national companies and one is completely dominated by Quality Control and the other is dominated by Accounts Receivable. A third company is dominated by Sales*.
*back in the day the Sales rep (at the time) tracked me down in the Caribbean when I was on holiday
Status: blax has no social skills
Just got a new neighbor on the cul de dac. Young asian chap with his wife and 0 year old.
Ran into the other two guys on my street who mentioned, har har, that the new guy was out golfing some expensive course. Then they do the little conversation of, “Whoa I go to the executive 9 hole #wearenotthesame” and the other is like, oh yeah here is how expensive golf has gotten yeesh.
And I’m like, “You expense these pricey greens fees and you are rich and drunk — the latter is why you’re down at the nine hole.”.
I’m not good at small talk but come on how is there not just automatic *good* things aboit golf to discuss when three gents realize they all.play?
Now the neighboUrhood gossip is all about angry blax smh
BLAX: How was the golfing?
GOLFER: Great! How about you?
BLAX: I can’t stand the game. I hate the people who play it even more.
GOLFER: Then why did you ask?
BLAX: I’m just no good at small talk.
(stolen from KITH)
Herbstreit has the makeup gun set to “whore” for tonight’s tilt.
he likes when u talk dirty like that
Having a 1 iron is insane. Driver, Fairway Wood, and 5 hybrid, then 3 iron at most is the way. More insane is being confident with it of course. On the other hand, being confident with any club is reason enough to use it as often as possible.
It really is weird how comfortable I am with it. Maybe it’s the fact that I treat it as a 3 Wood. I tee it up higher than an iron and play it off the ground like a 3 Wood.
Hey, it works.
On the other hand, I’ve taken 3 iron and 4 iron completely out of the bag. I can’t hit those to save my life. Instead I’m relying on the 5 Wood.