Balls Magazine Volume 20 (and Open Thread!)

On Labour Day Weekend, I am in the middle of enjoying a four day weekend thanks to having Friday off for some strange reason that I’m not going to argue with my employer about. I decided to organize a golf tournament on Friday with some coworkers for fun, pride, and shit-talking.

Apparently, there used to be regular athletic contests between departments/units like softball, basketball, and bowling for fun and comradery. Alas, management changed and those things were discouraged and eventually completely went away.

I want to bring that back as morale is low. These are not easy times in the workforce. HR has become so powerful that you can’t do anything fun in the office like put up nudie posters in the walls of the workshops, blast your radio in the yard, or whistle at hot girls as they pass by.

I blame Obama.

All kidding aside, COVID did change things greatly in terms of work relationships. I think that’s part of why some companies are trying to bring everyone back into the office. However, I think that’s the wrong answer. My goal is to provide that outlet for building work relationships and improving morale by creating activities outside of work that people could participate in, feel comfortable doing, and use to get to know people better.

Since we are all ancient, (seriously a huge wave of staff will retire within 5 years, including me) golf was the chosen sport/activity. The rules were as follows:

• Two-person teams representing a department/unit
• Better Ball format (Each person plays their own ball. At the end of the hole, the better score is the Team Score)
• Teams from the same unit/department could not be in the same foursome (because cheating)
• I bought a trophy out of my own pocket for the winners to proudly display at work for all to see and admire.

But more like

I have Carpenter friends. I’ll get them to make it super snazzy.

The Better Ball format is interesting because there is some strategy involved. If your partner hits a bad shot or loses a ball, the pressure is on you now to hit a good one as the team score now depends on you. On the positive side, if you come through and save the team score and you both do that for each other, they call it Ham and Egg and I have no idea why but it’s a good thing.

One of the guys that used to work for me and is now retired has influence in one of the local golf courses and he was able to set everything up for us. All I had to do was show up, greet everyone, and play.

I was playing with my retired buddy and we were the first group to tee off. We were paired up with two guys who I had heard were the best players in the entire company.

You all know I’m not good by any stretch of the imagination. My buddy is somewhere around a 12 handicap. The guys we were playing were in the single handicap range. I think one was a 4 and the other was an 8.

We started out pretty well as both teams got bogeys on the first hole. I myself scored a double bogey, so I wasn’t that far off the pace.

On the third hole, my buddy got a disaster 9 but I managed to get a Bogey so I felt good about being able to contribute. As the front nine went on, my buddy started to warm up and we (well, really HE) started shooting some pars.

The other guys, however, really got going. The only thing keeping us within shouting distance was the fact that they kept missing birdie putts.

At the turn, we were 7 strokes behind but we were playing better. Plus, they were tiring a bit. Their shots weren’t going as far and their accuracy was falling off.

Suddenly, we caught fire. We had a string of pars (one was mine!) and a couple of birdie attempts that just missed.

However, the boys in the other cart found a new gear. They got 5 birdies in the back and only a single bogey prevented them shooting under par for the entire round.

They shot even par for the tourney and took the trophy.

We finished with a great score on the Back Nine (as you know that’s my preferred Nine). In fact that score was better than the other guys’ Front Nine score. We finished in fourth place.

Afterwards, we stuck around and waited for everyone to finish. Guys were telling stories about work and sharing lessons learned. Phone numbers were exchanged and I heard some of the group went to lunch and drinks afterwards. It was exactly what I had envisioned.

PROS

I was the very first customer of the lovely cart girl that was wearing a skirt so short all I could see was her white underwear. Yes, she got a nice tip.

I played decently. I have mentioned before that playing with people that are better than you is good for improvement and this was certainly the case. I learned a lot watching my buddy and the other guys play. It was also great motivation to get better.

I managed to get two pars!

CONS

It was a team event, so the score did not count towards my handicap.

I lost a few balls.

OVERALL RATING:

I felt good about my golf but I felt better about how everyone enjoyed the event and wants to do it again. I’m thinking next year’s event will be in June as too many people decided to go away for the long weekend. I want next year’s event to have more participation so it can build on itself and become an annual tradition once I’m retired.

I again used Driver sparingly. I think I only hit it twice. I’m more comfortable with my 1 iron and that’s my safety club when I need to hit a shot around 200 yards.

I am also understanding the importance of the short game. I lose and gain the most shots in the short game. If I can sharpen that up, I’ll be able to shoot lower scores more consistently.

I think Rikki has finished the golf cart girl story, but I’ll stay tuned to see if there is an Epilogue or if the missing sex scene somehow magically reappears.

See you next time.

Since this is an Open Thread, feel free to discuss the LSU-FSU game. What’s better, F or L?