It wasn't supposed to be this way. There are far more knowledgeable soccer doofuses that should be doing this but I volunteered and y'all gonna bathe in my ignorance.
Nether Regions/Roger Milla's Granddaughters:
Cameroon played surprisingly well vs. the Canucks last time out (or were the Canucks just a little too tight?)
King Hippo gave me the raging semi, by the way. He's good like that-a real solid internet buddy, as opposed to all you viscous, semi-transparent folks out there in the ether.
So kiddos, we all know who's playing who and where they're playing and what sport they're playing and which planet
The powers that be (me, apparently) have asked that someone, anyone, throw some crap against the content wall so that folks that hate Kentucky (me, again) can have a place to vent their anger. Here. We. Go.
#5 Auburn/#2 Kentucky:
The Tigers got this far because no one bothered to tell them
If you're looking for insight, analysis, clues, savvy angles or sober commentary on these games, you've clicked the wrong site. All that malarkey can be found everywhere you look online. How 'bout we fever dream these matchups? (in chronological order)
TO THE GAMES!
#10 Hawkeyes/#2 Vols:
You dream of walking on grass still
Silly NFL-related News:
-The Bears are looking for kicker options other than the fella currently on their roster. Take one step forward, Redford Jones-you just might be hoofing footballs for the least amount of money Chicago is willing to pay for a guy that might win them a few close games.
My diary is filled with various loving tributes to the many, many blades I have in my collection. (Thankfully, no one talks about Knife Control) Much like any artist I've felt the need recently to expand my skill set, but how?
The non-profit I visited did so many things for those
But scrotchnat, you slur through your 5th mimosa, there's two teams playing and four teams remaining. You can't count worth a McFiggins! Well, you got me on the the 'not being able to count' observation but I will counter that I was talking about the number of games left.
Yup, that reality
Speaking of which, I think we should all take two years off from our current responsibilities and dig an irrigation ditch in Ghana. WHOSE WITH ME? Nobody? Fine then, I'm not going either.
TO THE GAME!
MOVE BOMBERS/YOUNG SATCHMO'S:
Do you want a super-spooky stat that will soil your undergarments once you hear
-T.O. opened up his bridge-burner again and to no one's surprise threw hc Garrett under the bus for having the gall to lose to a superior team. Several wanks were wanked.
-Harvey Dahl awaits his inevitable fine and perhaps a flurry of 'random' drug tests(?) for not expressing himself like an
Check out the smashed-into-the-windshield-several-times visage of Blake Jarwin. The toothfull grin that indicates that the keys shaken by the photographer please him. The too-small, beady eyes that have no doubt silently observed more than one grandmother undressing at bedtime. The throat devoid of an Adam's Apple. The sloughing forehead that
They (people) are saying as of the morning time that the snow's a'falling and will taper off during the afternoon. WHO WILL THIS FAVOR? HOW? WHY? I MUST KNOW! WILL THERE BE SLUSH? WILL SOMEONE THAT DOES'NT USUALLY WEAR GLOVES BE WEARING GLOVES?
Sorry for the rampant capitalization folks-I was just
I finish this intro off with 6 minutes left in the Bolts/Dead Birds game. Please Football Deity, let your glorious light shine through in this tilt in the form of touchdowns, great catches, good execution on both sides of the ball, clever play-calling and solid defense. We have been dutiful