Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 2, 2017

What Week One surprises will turn into bonafide trends?  What will fall into the vapor as if they were mere pre-season fixtures, or mad ether hallucinations?  Hack, cough, Jaguras competence.  READ ON! Yeah, the fucking asswipe P*ts came out firing, and buried the hapless Aints alive.  Gronk may be ded again,

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 1, 2017

The terribleness is at least mildly abated, as we have professional football once again.  And the people said "amen."  Except for Bengals and Humps fans.  Sweet Baby Jeebus, that was brutal. Or really, let's start with the Savage Garden.  Unsurprisingly, Clemson's Deshaun Watson was deemed not quite ready to start right

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Divisional Sunday!

Yes, folks, it's the very last one of these we have left as a free republic. Four MORE days until we'uns a client state of the Kremlin, thanks to racists and dipshits and woman/gay haters, etc. Hey, at least we had two close games yesterday, and one of 'em was

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Wild Card Edition

I saw no need FOAR a special Sunday morning edition, and hoped that Day Two would bring a marked improvement. Shit in one hand, hope in the other, and see which gets full first. Yinzburgh beat the absolute tar shit out of Miami, to nobody's surprise. Antonio Brown and Le'Veon Bell

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Shitsmas 2016 Edition

Holy fuck, that was an intense Christmas Eve afternoon, eh? Makes me kinda wish cigarettes did anything for me, so I could have one and come down a little bit. A big Hippo Thanks! to Sam Bradford and Adam Thielen for patiently waiting their turns on my fantasy playoffs (locked)

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 15, 2016

Forgive me if I am curt with my analysis, my head hurts like it's on fire, and the WORST of the barometric pressure changes comes tomorrow. So...there's a good chance I will be dead by my own hand then. There will be no discussion of the Donks loss. It

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 13, 2016

Well, it certainly was lucky for Andy Fucking Reid, wasn't it? I mean, the Chefs DID technically win on a game-winning TD pass from Matt Ryan. In that "ppl forget that" category is that the 2-pointer when one is up 1 late in the game should not be

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 12, 2016

Christ, the Denver game sucked. Turns out you can't really play without a right tackle. Or sentient special teamers. You can only fuck yourself in the ass so many times without permanent damage. Eventually, even the Chefs will take advantage. The Ravens beat the ded Bungles today,