Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 10, 2019 Season

Oh me, oh my - some BANANACAKES stuff went down late, in several locales.  No Donks WOO! = no Hippo stress, just enjoyed the parade. I don't think too many folk would have been surprised by a 26-9 scoreline, but the "9" belonged to Breesus Christ...at HOME against the Falcons?  I

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 9, 2019 Season

Welcome to Monday, ladies and (chuckle) gentlemen - it was a full MANDATORY 14 hours of glorious FITBAW!  But of course, some fixtures were more glorious than others. [EDITOR'S NOTE: Hippo is wise, but like the ancient Oracle at Delphi, he often speaks in a...cryptic...language that can require some interpretation. Thus, the

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 8, 2019 Season

What Week 8 lacked in greatness, it made up for it with folly.  Oh, folly abounded. Chi****/ex-San Diego played perhaps the derpiest game I have ever seen, at least without weather playing a major role.  Bollo del Verdad remained atrocious.  Matt Nagy wisely ran, ran, then ran some more...for most of

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 7, 2019 Season

Forgive me if these are even shittier than usual - I'm not in a particularly decent mood (even by Hippo standards). Naturally, one should lead off with the Tomsulas' 9-nil win over the Dacteds in wet, dire Landover.  Under 10 points for both sides combined, in a game with no snow

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 6, 2019 Season

It wasn't a great Sunday of FITBAW! - but it was weird.  Given the Timeline we are in, weird will have to do. Were you up bright and early to watch the start of Most Glorious Mandatory 14-Hour Viewing Window?  Well, fuck most of y'all, you missed a sweet fair catch free

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 5, 2019 Season

The best one can really ever expect out of this piece of shit life is a mixed bag.  Thusly, I found out (having to run an annoying parenting errand) that I could NOT get the satellite broadcast of my Donks continuing to shitcan King Laserface, but instead was stuck listening

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 4, 2019 Season

Heidy-ho, it's a glorious Monday morning with a sense of order returned to the universe.  That's right, Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals have won the National League Central, and will make the playoffs relevant again.  Thank you, Jack Flaherty. But what of Donks WOO!!!??  Well, they sure tried hard again!  Our Equine

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 3, 2019 Season

My oh my.  Sunday was a fine September day indeed.  As a preliminary matter, I sweated my balls off through the fourth consecutive 1-run win by mah beloved, Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals in Wrigley.  First such sweep since 1921.  But you come to hear of the footy, and there was some quite

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 2, 2019 Season

Sometimes, everything sucks all at once.  This was my sportsball weekend.  Thanks for showing me you can get darker, Darkest Timeline. Did you know that Stephen Gostkowski missed TWO extra points yesterday?  I mean, the P*ts still won 43-fucking-0, so maybe it escaped your attention.  Shit, even if you took all

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 1, 2019 Season

Yes, we assemble together again.  Another season, knowing the ending is gonna suuuuuccccckkkk.  But there is familiarity in routine, and really, there is no substitute for the beautiful, mathematical violence that is professional football. And wouldn't you know - we get treated right away to a game like Fuck Lions/Qardinals (hat