Instant Hippo Thoughts

"OW MY HEAD!" "UGH, MY STOMACH!" "YIKES,  MY BALLS!" These may be some of the thoughts going through Hippo's head today as he is under the weather and has requested assistance in fulfilling his weekly report to you fine folks. Now,  granted,  I do not speak hillbilly although I can understand it. Thus,  you

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 12, 2018 Season

Delight of delights, the Yinzers finally ran out of dumb luck, and my Donks served as the direct beneficiaries!  Much like a certain annoying JV fixture one day earlier, Denver established the run - against an aggressive but overall just mediocre defensive front seven - and stuck with it.  When

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 11, 2018

Well, terrible (even by Ginger Hammer Era NFL standards) kind of ruined my enjoyment of this week, what wasn't ruined by the mediocrity of the slate. This included the Donks WOO!! trip to Shitty Clipper-land, when an absolutely bizarre OPI call seemingly killed a potential game-winning drive.  But full credit to

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 10, 2018 Season

My head is killing me, most of the games were turds, so don't expect too much from this wrapup. OK, maybe the Saints are the best side in footbaw, after all.  What they did to the Striped Pylons (on their own, shitty turf) was just brutal.  Methinks everybody on the team

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week NEIN, 2018 Season

Everything sucks, but nothing quite so much as Donks soon-to-be-ex-coach Vance Joseph. Denver lost 19-17 to the 500s.  OK, I can understand the result.  But the how, and the complete, abject failure to learn from one's prior stupidity...I just can't even.  I will be mad about this for WEEKS, and it

Belated Hippo Thoughts – Week 8, 2018 Season

Sorry, I have had techincal dificil in addition to the familial bullshit of Sunday night.  The shit rain, it is unceasing. Week 8 was NFC "Prove It" Week, and we can say for certain that RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! and the Saints are for real, and seemingly on collision course.  Wait a minute,

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 7, 2018 Season

Another week in the books, further differentiation at hand. We definitely have a runaway leader for Superb Owl favourites, in the 7-0 RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! crew.  After playing a few close matches, LA's finest decided not to be cute and disposed of the Tomsulas with brutal efficiency.  Todd Gurley continues his "even

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 6, 2018 Season

Some weeks just shit all over you.  This was one of them.  Herein lies part of the week's tale. All season long, Yinzburgh has shown their asses about Le'Veon Bell, in the most unappreciative, unsolidarity, anti-labour, Company Man way.  I am sure it has made the Ginger Hammer hard enough to

Instant(ish) Hippo Thoughts – Week 5, 2018

Due to some general physical malaise, I am typing this in the morning.  Que lastima. What a joy it is for the sad in life (hey, LIKE ME!!) to watch a placement kicker melt down in real time.  Of all people, Green Bay's Mason Crosby had his turn in the barrel

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 3, 2018 Season

Los Angeles Rams.  Kansas City Chefs.  Miami LOLFins.  One of these three is not like the other. Yet all advanced to 3-0 this week, while the Minnesota Vikings got blown out at home by the historically bad Buffalo Bills.  I still don't know how to comprehend, nor describe how that happened.  Captain

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week Two, 2018

It's 17 September, 2018.  Have you seen your placekicker's psyche lately? /also HAIL SHANK'LOR!!, Goddess Bless Two weeks in, two Draws on the board, as we got a 29-29 scorigami in fat-ass cheese land.  Mason Crosby missed once (nice icing timeout, Mister Winkles!!), and rookie Daniel Carlson missed a few hundred times (including dead