EXTERIOR, NORTH CAROLINA OUTER BANKS, EMERALD ISLE
tWBS has caught a nice wave and is getting ready to move up the face to try a few maneuvers. It's his tenth wave of an epic day in which he has surfed to his heart's content with hardly anyone else in the
INTERIOR, A SHITTY RENTED AUDI HATCHBACK WITH FULL COLLISION COVERAGE, THE A-3, HEADING SOUTH PAST THE FRANKFURT AIRPORT
Balls: So, where exactly are we going?
tWBS:I don't care anymore.
Hippo (looking sideways at Balls): Whaddayasay we hang out in Frankfurt? I've heard good things!
Balls (exchanging glances with Hippo): Yeah!
There's a reason why we went backwards chronologically.
At the end of this one, hopefully you'll understand.
This story is a bit convoluted in several ways. And it might have been the biggest mistake of my life. I'm going to try to tell it accurately, but it's been a while. Please bear
No one really cares about this team. The last time they were interesting, Mike Alstott was winning fans' hearts two yards at a time, and Jon Gruden was considered a quality football mind. With that in mind, this preview is gonna be a listicle. I'm lazy, you don't care, it's
INTERIOR, THE FASTEST CAR IN THE WORLD, A RENTED AUDI HATCHBACK WITH FULL COLLISION COVERAGE, THE A-3, JUST INSIDE GERMANY
Hippo: YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAWWWWWWW I AM FOOOOOOKKKINNN CRAAAAAAAZZZZZYYYYYY!!!
Balls (in the backseat, crossing myself): ¡¡Jesús, María, José!!
tWBS (riding shotgun because he called it a half a second before
I started this story last week. And I tried to be very careful in what I said and how I said it. I will admit that in the moment, nearly three years ago, I did not handle it particularly well.
In fact, I handled it very not well. Being betrayed will do
EXTERIOR, THE PORT OF AMSTERDAM
Balls: Alright, boys! We're here!
Hippo (carrying luggage): Hold up!
tWBS: Aren't you happy that we flew WOW airlines now?
Balls: You know, I have to give it up to you. It certainly makes getting around a lot easier.
tWBS: So, how are we
I have to be careful about this one. Very, very careful. But let's give it a shot.
Balls: Don't worry, I'm here to make sure you're ok.
tWBS: Hey, that's mighty nice of you!
Balls: And to make sure you don't fuck up.
tWBS: Asshole. Ok fine, let's just get this over with...
EXTERIOR, THE HORSESHOE PUB, LONDON, EC1R 0AG,
THE NEXT MORNING
Balls: Are you sure it's a wise move to go back to the pub? What if Mary is there?
tWBS: Oh, there's no chance of that. There was... an accident.
Balls: What?!? Again?
tWBS: It wasn't my fault!
Originally, this week we were going to begin talking about love and loss from a few years ago. But then wordpress ate it. Twice. And I don't have time to type it all again this week. So we'll get to that next week.
So even though we've been working backwards chronologically,
INTERIOR, THE HORSESHOE PUB, LONDON, EC1R 0AG,
Drunk King Hippo: Methinks this will be an excellent match tonight. Gots +240 on Hammerin' Hank to score. Up the Toffees!!!
Drunk Englishman: UP THE TOFFEES!!!
They both crash their pint glasses into each other and promptly down the amber nectar.
In May of 2018 I traveled to Venice Beach, California for two weeks as I sometimes do. The Venice and Santa Monica area is probably my favorite place in the world. Venice in particular is a very interesting place to me, if for no other reason than all races and