Monday Morning Mock Draft: Go Long!

People, we have some truly promising drafts coming up, courtesy of one Mr. Rikki Rikki Deadly.  I can only assume that the soothing hum of near constant vacuuming has something to do with triggering brain activity that leads to mock draft topics.

Or murder, but I’m going to lean into the draft topic idea.  Seems safer and less murdery.

This week, however, we’re going with one of mine because last week I made a promise to Hippo that we’d do a football-themed one and it seems the least, (like literally the very least), I can do to keep the guy who does the Monday recaps from September through February happy.

Next few weeks you’ll want to bone (heh) up on Canadiens, nudity, and possibly nude Canadiens.  Who knows where this will go?  This week, you’re going to need to know your spread (heh) offense (aww) options and your NFL history, because we’ll be drafting NFL wide receivers.

The rules are simple:  if they played so much as a snap or a trick play at WR they’re eligible to be drafted.  So yes, you could take Tom Brady as a WR although I don’t know why you’d want to when Big Dick Nick Foles is right there.

Slots, split-ends, possession guys, deep threats, doesn’t matter.  No limit on quantity, nor is there a minimum, (recall that we did do that with offensive lines), although ideally you should have three.

As with that time we drafted comedians, given the propensity of WRs, (even given their status of professional football players), to do a lot of stupid and occasionally criminal things, you’re just drafting them for their skills.  Much like the NFL ownership, we’re not here to comment on them being less-than-ideal husbands, fathers, significant others, sane, contributing members of society, or anything beyond what they did between the lines.

With the first pick I’m taking Drew Pearson, the primary deep threat on the first Dallas Cowboy team I was aware of, back when Dallas was truly America’s Team, an actual threat to do something in the post-season, and who totally didn’t commit pass interference on that pass from Roger Staubach that many consider the first Hail Mary.

#43 clearly trips over a gopher there.  Pesky things, those gophers.

The rest of you are on the clock.