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Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.

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When I was a wee lad, I played on the town’s soccer club.  During practice one day, the coach noticed that a kid named T.J. was wearing a friendship bracelet on one of his wrists.  This wasn’t one of those elastic Livestrong things, this was one of those braided ones, not dissimilar in strength to a thin piece of rope.  It wasn’t football, so the coach didn’t call him a sissy or anything.  But the coach did make him take it off, pointing out that an opponent (or teammate) could break or even lose a finger if it got caught in it.  [Later on that poor kid got his scrotum torn open by a spinning bike wheel when he was riding on the back pegs and his feet slipped off.  But I digress.]

I don’t think the NFL should allow players to wear chains on the field. If they’re strong enough that they don’t tear away easily, they are a potential safety hazard, and if they are weak enough to tear away easily, they have the potential to disrupt play by littering the field.  But the NFL does allow players to wear chains on the field, so they need to have a policy for when players fuck with each other’s chains.  My understanding is that the league currently treats it as part of the uniform, similar to long hair or dreadlocks.  It’s perfectly legal to grab it during a play.  But if an opposing player walked up to Richard Sherman after a play and yanked out one of his dreadlocks, you can be damn sure the NFL would punish…wait, let’s start over, let’s say an opposing player pulled Clay Matthews’ long and luxurious hair, you can be damn sure the officials and/or the NFL wouldn’t let it slide*.  It’s behavior that’s designed to instigate a fight, and that’s unsportsmanlike conduct, plain and simple, and it needs to be penalized.

And this, of course, is why I’m so furious that Michael Crabtree is getting suspended for the same number of games as that poster boy for PFT’s definition of “thug” Aqib Talib.

Last year, Talib announced that he planned to rip off Crabtree’s chain.  And he did.  Crabtree didn’t react as Talib might have hoped – Crabtree described his lack of response as a “business decision” with the expectation that the league would discipline Talib for his transparent attempt to bait Crabtree into a fight.  But the league didn’t do jack shit.  Which sent a message to each player, loud and clear.  The first, to Talib (a player who has previously been suspended for four games for a substance violation and one game for a deliberate eye poke), was that he had the league’s tacit approval to try to bait opposing players into fights.  The second, to Crabtree, was that the league wasn’t going to reward him for his restraint, and that he was going to have to take these matters into his own hands.

Which of course, he did.

I’d like to see fellow players in the NFL respond by pointing out the hypocrisy of the NFL suspending players for fighting, but ignoring the actions that instigate those fights in the first place.  If they see a fellow player wearing a chain, yank it off.  I don’t think it’s technically against the rules for players to throw whipped cream pies or water balloons at each other, so I’d like to see some of that.  Choreograph an end-zone celebration of an opposing player’s mom getting gangbanged (I don’t know how you’d do this without props like a wig, but the players are exhibiting some impressive creativity with their celebrations these days so I’m sure they’ll figure something out).  Anything that pushes the line of “well, the NFL didn’t punish that, so they really can’t justify punishing this.”

As for me, I’m going to show my support for Crabtree by purchasing a jersey.  But I won’t be paying $140 for it.  And I won’t be ordering it via the NFL Shop.

*Unless of course the sliding player was Cam Newton, in which case the NFL would declare that he hadn’t begun the sliding motion yet and award Cam one free concussion.

Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.

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Moose -The End Is Well NighballsofsteelandfuryYour “What’s On Is What’s On” Tuesday Evening Open Thread – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]Senor WeaseloRikki-Tikki-Deadly Recent comment authors
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Typical Raiders fan, (hehe). Crabtree took this particular incident to the next level by continuing, after the whistle to drive Talib out of bounce, into sideline personnel, beyond the white demarcation boundary thus providing the justification for his own two game suspension. All this to get back at Talib. Every DB in the league knows you can get Crabtree out of his game al la Richard Sherman and they are sorely tempted to do it and many have. Don’t get me wrong; Talib is a great CB, but he is an asshole and you can’t do that shit and still have the captain patch on your shirt. He deserves every minute, thing is he never tried to intentionally injure Crabtree, the way other players have done and received less time (Burfict). The NFL sanctions are extremely inconsistent and, as you point out, hypocritical, but for this particular incident they got it about right.

Let’s harken back to Bill Romanowski spitting in J.J. Stokes’ face, which had racial undertones, especially certain fans reaction. Having heard multiple Talib interviews and seen what he does around town and how his teammates like him, he doesn’t really bother me, even considering his looses his fucking mind sometimes and turns into a complete dipshit that can hurt his team. With Romanowski I HATED him as a Raider, and when he was a Bronco I …..hated him somewhat less.


Hockey thinks they’re all pussies.


[…] was noted last night, and expertly analyzed this morning, Aqib Talib & Michael Crabtree were both suspended two games for their fracas on […]

Senor Weaselo

So… Blood Dome anyone?


Personally, I’d suspend Talib for 2 games and Crabtree for one. Talib is an idiot and has a suspension history. So he should get more games.

While I wouldn’t personally wear jewellery, it’s such an asshole thing to rip off another man’s jewels. The NFL should probably make it a rule that you can’t. It’s a taunting and a tacky thing to do.


There is no reason to punish anyone for any of this shit.


I never have understood why anyone would want to wear jewelry while playing any sport. It’s a distraction (to him/herself even) even if it wasn’t a safety issue. Which is not intended to sound as if I’m excusing Talib. Dude is an asshole.

Had I been Crabtree, knowing it was possibly going to happen, I would have at least found some sort of costume jewelry type chain and attached a note to it for Talib.

“Dear asshole, if jewels really interest you so much, you can feel free to suck mine after the game. Later, Bitch.”


It’s like a more personal version of capture the flag. It’s like really old tribal shit. Counting coup and such. Just pride nonsense. Nothing for the league to involve itself with, especially when it’s so busy blackballing Kaep and hiding players’ health concerns from them so that the owners aren’t liable now or in the future when CTE tips future instances of fatal domestic violence or worse.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Whoa whoa whoa, hang on a second!”

— Patrick Chung, only reading the title of this post


I have it from an unimpeachable source(the voice in my head), that in the next NFLPA, the players will start getting paid for each officially licensed jersey that is sold.* The NFLPA will hail the deal as the greatest ever for the players.
So you shouldn’t buy an unlicensed Chinese jersey in the future.

*A player will receive $.01 per official NFL jersey sold with his name and number on it. They will only receive that money, once they reach $100,000 in a year. The remainder of the licensing fee will be split as follows.

$30 from each jersey sold will go to the player’s, oops I mean team’s owner.**
$20 regardless of which team will go to Jerry Jones.***
$10 will be paid into the fund for concussion protocols, to be distributed by an ownership committee as they see fit.****

**Except for Green Bay, that money will go to the other teams, because the “owners” of the franchise are just a bunch of cheese wearing rubes.
***In the case of NFC East teams, an additional $15 will go to Jerry Jones, as a convenience fee.
****Money will be paid to doctors who get players back onto the field fastest.


If someone grabbed Matthews hair they would be gone for 6 games and then the lawyers would get all the money as per usual. Someone’s dreads? Nothing, unless it was a white guy who had his bye week in the Caribbean.


Imagine if Bear Woods played in the NFL

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The risk with pulling on Sherman’s dreads is that you risk waking Solomon Grundy.

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Creampies? Only for the 500s.

Don T

That’s the NFL Girlie Man / Gloree Boy unwritten rule: they’ll look the other way if a player attacks another player’s “vanity” or “individuality”. Hell, even coaches get away wit shit like that.
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Don T

Bonus: now THAT is a well-practiced “What did I do?” look.


I think the rules are pretty clear and Talib is just an instigator. Ripping off the chain is no different than taunting and Crabtree — sorry buddy — just needs to be an adult about it. If you don’t want your chain ripped off, don’t wear it on the field. Shit, Mike, why would you EVER think the NFL would take your side on anything?

The NFL got every single thing they wanted out of this event. They got to show a clear violation of rules. They got to show the MAGAs that they’re tough on blacks. And, most importantly, they got exciting press about on the field events (no ownership drama).

As a younger brother, I know all too well how Crabtree is feeling being punished the same for retaliating as for instigating. But take it from this well-adjusted dick joke connoisseur: you don’t fuck the NFL by fighting Talib, you do it by never talking to your parents again and breaking your mother’s heart and cohabiting with another man.


Oh look — another edition of RTD’s NO FUN LEAGUE.

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That Politico piece on Trump voters told me the NFL stands for something else


/Isn’t American and hates the Patriots.

Still in the clear, baby!


Excellent point and post.