Nobody’s Chargers 2023 Season Preview: The Happiest Place

INTERIOR – DISNEYLAND PARKING LOT, ANAHEIM, CA – MORNING JUSTIN HERBERT: Oh boy oh boy! I'm so excited to finally get that authentic Hollywood experience! Somewhere where I can be just like all the locals! I can't wait to try Wolfgang Puck's for lunch! [Looks around the otherwise empty parking lot with

An Old Friend Comes Home

INTERIOR - SOFI STADIUM LOCKER ROOM, LOS ANGELES, CA  - SUNDAY AFTERNOON [LOCKER ROOM DOOR FLIES OPEN] DR. DAVID CHAO: [Visibly stumbling] HI [hic] EVERYSSBODYSSS! [The locker room is empty and offers no response] DR. DAVID CHAO: Oh, a little [hic] alonesh time for the [hic] Doctor and hsssh patient! [Pulls out flask and

Nobody’s Chargers 2020 Season Preview: No Control

INTERIOR – NONDESCRIPT DOMICILE, CARSON, CA – EVENING [A MAN sits alone on a couch in his living room, completely fixated on the TV in front of him, despite the fact that nothing particularly interesting is on it. His gaze is so intent, that he hardly blinks and certainly doesn't hear

You Are Watching the “Boston Neighborhood Network”…

VOICE OVER: BNN PUBLIC ACCESS TELEVISION ACTS AS A PUBLIC FAH-RUM FOR ALL BAWSTAN RESIDENTS, NAWN-PROFIT AND COMMUNITY-BASED ORH-GANIZATIONS, PRAH-VIDING THEM WITH AWFORDABLE TRAINING AND ACCESS TO EMEHGERIN' MEDIA TECHNOLOGIES. GO SAUX! [COMMERCIAL FLIES OPEN] [A very blurry camera zooms in and out while the auto-focus tries desperately to keep up. The

Commentist Beer Barrel: Boots on the Ground – Burgeon Third Anniversary Invitational

This is a bit of a departure from your usual DFO Hate Week musings, as I wanted to bring you a brief interlude of something good. There are few things better than local independent craft beer, at least, in my mind, and the day before the Conference Championship series, I

2019 Quotables – Week 5 (Submissions)

Greetings glorious Commentists. This is your Low Commander of the Super Soldiers filling in for the usual GIF miner, Blax, who I can only assume is off digging shallow graves somewhere off the I-15, only to continually find pre-existing more shallow graves. I assure you those are not covered by