Commentist Beer Barrel: Really Deep

Greetings Commentists, lurkers, drunkards and all general riff-raff, to another edition of the Beer Barrel. Low Commander here, filling it for make it snow as he prepares for the avalanche of Oscars previews. which turned out to be perfect timing as I found something that I really wanted to share

San Diego’s Greetings: A Very BOLTMAN X-Mas

EXTERIOR - QUALCOMM STADIUM FIELD - X-MAS EVE As the sun sets on the city of San Diego, a lone figure walks from the home team's locker room of the deserted stadium at a meandering pace. A few lights flicker on as darkness falls, casting the field in odd, ever creeping

No One’s 2017 “Chargers” Bye Week Update

There has been a fair amount of discussion so far this year of what the new name for the football team formerly residing in San Diego should be. To BOLTMAN, they will forever be the Heretics. To many on this site, various combination of Football/Shitty Clippers and LAwnmowers has been

The Evil Dean

EXTERIOR - RAMSHACKLE CABIN IN THE WOODS - EARLY DUSK [The camera slowly zooms and then pans around the cabin. There is an odd silence, as not even birds or insects can be heard nearby. Upon reaching the back door, the camera moves upward, until it just looking over the roof

Your “I Haven’t Watched Them Play a Single Snap” Washington [Redacted]s at the BYE

So far this season, I have watched about a total of one hour of live NFL football, split between two games: The first 30ish minutes of Bears @ Packers on TNF before the rain delay, and the last 30ish minutes of Saints and Dolphins in London. Not having a team

Your Official DFO-CON 2017 Announcement Post

AFTERNOON - SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA - NONDESCRIPT OFFICE BUILDING INTERIOR [An extremely pale but handsome young man sits at his desk, trying to do anything but work. Sensing a presence behind him, he minimizes his open window to a complicated looking spreadsheet and turns around.] Low Commander: Yeah, so, that'll be done in-- Oh,

Stadium of Leaves – Nobody’s 2017 Chargers Preview

This is a collaborative post from the sick and horrible minds of Old School Zero and Low Commander of the Super Soldiers. You have been warned. [Up in the owner’s box of the vast, expansive, huge, massive, otherworldly large, Brobdingnagian, 30,000 27,000 seat StubHub Legal Scalping Center, DEAN SPANOS sits alone and looks out over the

[DFO] Archives: Electric Origins – The Birth of Evil

YAXKIN MULUK, 900 BC - GRAND TEMPLE - INTERIOR [The HIGH PRIEST stands before a glorious golden altar leading his congregation of hundreds in prayer. The square-shaped room is massive, with high ceilings and an opening at the very center showing sunny powder blue skies above. An entryway at the far

Fun with Big Beer: “The High End”

The battle for your dollar rages on in the beer industry. For the last 2 decades, "Big Beer" in North America has tried many different tactics to try and quash the looming threat of micro-breweries taking their existing revenue: threatening to pull advertising to networks airing shows promoting micro-breweries, running

Iron Cook with Low Commander: Leftovers?! Scramble!

Good afternoon, denizens of debauchery. I am here to tickle your taste buds as our own Yeah Right enjoys a week off from being a mad kitchen scientist of epic proportions. This week, I am going to share with you the fine art of the ultimate lazy Sunday morning breakfast,

Your “Back to reality, but at least it’s” Wednesday Open Thread

Welcome back to the grind, folks. There may be a few people fortunate, prepared or unemployed enough to not have to work today, but for the vast majority of us, your alarm started screeching at you like the forced laughs of a thousand arthouse movie patrons while it was still dark

Commentist Beer Barrel: Boots on the Ground – San Diego International Beer Festival 2017

Ladies, Gentlemen and Beings of Inconceivable Horror, welcome to yet another guest edition of the Beer Barrel without Make It Snow. I am Low Commander of the Super Soldiers and much like Mattingly's sideburns, you just can't get rid of me. But fear not, for I have an extra special edition