2018 Quotables – Superb Owl Weekend (Submissions)

You don’t need to hear it from me, but what a boring game with a boring outcome. I took the under in all of the prop bets my friend put together for a bottle of beer (and came away victorious,) but even I didn’t expect it to be this low scoring and just a complete and total slog of a game. Couple that with not even memorably bad commercials, and not the worst half time show ever, but still putrid and awful to create a completely forgettable event for the NFL’s biggest stage. If you can’t even get this right, Goodell, then what the hell is the point of any of this? Much like every network sitcom, the NFL has become something “for everyone” and therefore “for no one.” You can hear the canned cheers in the stands, Tony and JEEEM praising every little stupid thing anyone does with a performance in the middle so crammed with randomly mismatched artists they felt the need to shoehorn in Sponge Bob for some reason. Whoever thought of that idea really saved the fucking day.

Alright, you all know what to do. I sincerely expect you guys and gals to show up more than either team did on Sunday.

This is the modern Republican nightmare

Oh Rams, you tease

YOU LET US DOWN METEOR!

I’m shocked he didn’t pepper in more bad ass karate moves

Has anyone ever seen Jared Goff and Balls in the same room?

Most Valuable Punter

This is the reality we have to live in apparently

Turn my passing indifference into laughter, please.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers is a native North County San Diegan with an affinity for the Padres, beer, whiskey, punk rock, video games and the end of days. If you eat a fish taco with a fork in his presence, you may lose your hand.
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2018 Quotables – Superb Owl Weekend (Results) – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]

[…] been the strongest week of Quoteables I’ve had the honor of hosting. You wonderful chumps and chumpettes really showed up when it counted and delivered. I’m not one to reward second place though, or […]

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Bahstan retahds fighting in public. Also known as a Tuesday.

https://giant.gfycat.com/PlushSlimyHydatidtapeworm.mp4

Redshirt

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♪ “And its Sweeeeeeeeeeet, Sweeeeeeeet, Sweet Shitiness, Yeah”. ♪

Redshirt

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“The newly deposited sperm race to the ampulla to be the first to impregnate the egg.”

Redshirt

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“I asked the first test. The rest should be a piece of cake.” – Every Freshman Year College Dropout & 2019 L.A. Rams

Redshirt

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Patriots: “Standard NFL rules. Heads, we win. Tails, you lose.”

Petronel

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I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

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…welp. Worse than I thought, Luke. So much worse.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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In the end, Gronk and the boys were finally able to stick it to that crusty old Dean and keep Kegg House open for another semester.

blaxabbath

“Guh-ROOOOONNNKKKKKK!”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Most exciting play of the game, right here.

(this is not a joke)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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A call of “Macaroon Five” is an indication that Andy Reid is 10% finished with the cookie course of his meal.

ballsofsteelandfury

Cookie Course deserves a plus 1 all on its own.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Maybe, Adam, if you got just one more tattoo, people would finally start talking about how tough and edgy and dangerous you look.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I, for one, am happy to see Tales From The Meteor getting some national recognition.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I bet Tucker Carlsen sees this as a metaphor for how affirmative action is destroying the hopes and dreams of downtrodden young white males throughout the country.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Jared Goff is drinking the water!!!

Enrico Pallazzo

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It’s actually sweet to see Chris playing nicer with black men than Hulk.

SonOfSpam

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Last time I saw a tattoo’d guy named Levine was on a train in Germany.

We were going to Munich for Oktoberfest and had a nice chat about our favorite bocks.

I mean, the Germans killed him eventually, but all in all it was a pleasant weekend.

Game Time Decision

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When your punt game is better than your (offensive) offence (65 yard punt vs 82 yards total offense to that point in the game).

Game Time Decision

DAMN IT
*Almost better

SonOfSpam

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This Jared is so worthless and ineffectual I fully expect him to marry Ivanka soon.

blaxabbath

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“As the man who regularly beds Jared’s wife, I would hit this with my mushyroom.” -DJT

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

She looks Russian af

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Each of these tattoos represents a child whose taste in music has been corrupted by Maroon 5

nomonkeyfun

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“Who’s down with STDs?”

“Yah you know me!!!”

blaxabbath

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Kurt Warner, you are not.

blaxabbath

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“It’s getting ludicrous how Romo is able to call out all these plays before the snap.”

– Hue Jackson

Game Time Decision

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Future Banner GIF for the House of Pain series

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just gotta run it in reverse.

blaxabbath

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“::Watches Play::
::Fires Up Computer::
::Comments that Everyone on [DFO] is an asshole/loser::”

-Sill Bimmons

blaxabbath

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It’s like a sped up version of everyone watching Trump’s 2018 stock market.

blaxabbath

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Damn — Goff had happy feet from the coin toss that game.

blaxabbath

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I don’t care what anyone says, the remix version of Jews Will Not Replace Us is way catchier.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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/blocks Donald Trump on twitter

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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You may notice that Hogan was not a factor in the second half, as Gisele had him dismembered following this play.

blaxabbath

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At least this would have been an interesting way to pump much-needed sound in to an Atlanta stadium.

Game Time Decision

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Did you know that Hogan used to play basketballlacrosse, Jeeeem?

blaxabbath

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Where’s a Dzhokhar Tsarnaev when you need one?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Uf

SonOfSpam

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel like you’re really throwing his brother Tamerlan under the bus by not mentioning his part in things as well.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean, it’s honestly not right to be dragging him like that.

blaxabbath

Corpses don’t get credit.

It’s why Aaron Hernandez doesn’t get a ring.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Something something asteroid something something Megatron’s butthole something something hemorrhoid

Game Time Decision

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I brought you all here today to talk about physics and gravity. What goes up, must come down.
Any questions class?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tell us about the ideal gas law

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Jared Goff, pictured trying to count how many points his team can score in one game.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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The only Ram that didn’t have trouble adjusting to pre-snap reads.

Game Time Decision

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Too bad he was shooting blanks all game.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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To the windooooow, to the wall
Til the CTE breaks down my brain