Your “Card Subject To Change” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Pete Carroll confirmed what most of us already knew: Kam Chancellor is not returning in 2017.
    • The neck injury is just too bad.
  • Mike McCarthy defended Mason Crosby’s attempted record of a field goal attempt, a decision which help the Steelers get back into the game Sunday night.
    • The first words of a man on the hot seat: “That’s the right decision.”
  • Some guy got himself arrested for flying a drone over both the 49ers game and the Raiders game in the same afternoon.
    • He was trying to drop anti-media pamphlets into the crowds.
      • It was a just a note with a red “X” on it that was accompanied by a “lengthy text talking about the first amendment,” according to ABC7 News.
    • The winds blew them all away.

In case you missed it yesterday on ESPN2, nothing was more Canadian than the 105th Grey Cup

  • Outdoors in November,
  • Snowy conditions,
  • A 100 year-old trophy above a $50 base,
  • Justin Trudeau,
  • and Shania Twain riding a dogsled to the stage & escorted up by Mounties.

We have been promised a “Boots On The Ground” report, just as soon as the author thaws out & sobers up.


Game Preview: Houston at Baltimore

A game that must have looked good when the schedule was announced instead one team missing it’s elite defence (again) versus the other team which is in need of a elite quarterback.

Houston might have been able to survive the season without Watt had they not also lost DeShaun Watson, which might just be further proof that this franchise’s existence angers the gods and they should either be contracted or relocated before further damage is done to the Houston sports scene. Blowing up both the offence and defence is a bold strategy, and is not something usually recommended by today’s NFL game planners. Right about now Bill O’Brien must be thinking that the Tennessee Volunteers job looks pretty sweet, especially given the mess they’ve made of hiring a new coach.

On the Baltimore side of things, they are playing for the #6 seed in the AFC, and they stand a cromulent chance of achieving that goal, so long as the AFC West continues to be a garbage fire, and the teams under New England in the AFC East seem determined to run away from ever challenging the Patriots while Tom Brady is still walking upright. If the Ravens can stumble their way to 9-7, that should ensure they get an away playoff date against the winner of the AFC South. But first, they have to win tonight to keep pace with the…Bills?!

Woof – what’s RAW building towards?


Tonight’s sports:

  • Monday Night Football:
    • Houston Texans at Baltimore Ravens – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
  • NHL:
    • Flyers at Penguins – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Cavs at 76ers – 7:00Pm | Sportsnet1
    • Lakers at Clippers – 10:30PM | Sportsnet1
  •  NCAA:
    • Men’s basketball:
      • Maryland at Syracuse – 7:00PM | ESPN2
      • Eastern Illinois at Marquette – 8:00PM | FS1
      • Wisconsin at Virginia – 9:00PM | ESPN2
  •  WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Thanks to the Rams beating the Saints, the Seahawks remain one game back of the NFC West lead. So far, I have not received a missive asking for a playoff deposit. KEEP THAT MONEY IN MY POCKET, RAMMIT!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

When you’re at the airport before the stores are open….you’re gonna have a bad time.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Night night.

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yeah right
Member

To my brother in life Don T.

A redemption song.

Don T
Member

Amazing. And what a coupla of handsome smokers! 🚬💦💨

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

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Col. Duke LaCross
Member

She may have rolled an ankle.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Have a good night gents.
Time to be productive.

No that doesn’t mean masturbating.
Yet.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

Actress Vivien Leigh speaks to the Eighth Air Force about firearms safety, 1943.
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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Hehehehehe….took me a sec.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

She wishes that was the problem.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Those guns may be loaded, but all the others in the photo are definitely loaded and armed.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

This could also by the Cliff’s Notes version of MNF. And TNF. And SNF. And, well …

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

“I ain’t gonna get all religious on y’all here.”
*gets all religious on us*
—T. Suggs

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

“The organization that Ray Lewis built”

This is why I usually keep my TV muted. smgdh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

He did thank god for keeping him healthy this year at least.
I presume he cussed him out for previous injuries?

Ron Howard: “He didn’t…”

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, that was pretty uninspiring. At least the Spurs managed the comeback win.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Hey Joe took my advice to abandon the forward pass!

nomonkeyfun
Member

No, Kap couldn’t have learned an offense that was already designed around his skill set by now. There is no way one of THOSE people is intelligent enough to be better than a product of the state univeraity of New Jersey.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

In a perfect world, he wins Dianne Feinstein’s seat next year and puts the screws to the NFL every chance he gets until one of them is dead.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WHO’S YOUR FLACOO NOW??

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Whoa…where’d that come from?
See Joe run…Run Joe Run!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Says the talking chicken.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Well we now know…Tom Savage cannot throw into triple coverage…

Seriously…I wish we could see how his brain was imaging how that play was going to work..

The Maestro
Member

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Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I like her. She seems smrt.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

I’m just shocked about the size of her hands.

Yuuuuuuugggge.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

All the better to cup my gigantic testicles with.

(sorry, I went little red riding hood for sec)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

UM…. YOU SHOULD TAKE THE RUBBER-BAND OFF NOW.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Ok, Ravens, I need just one single fucking point here.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

U got Ravens’ D you mean?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Hope so, after that pick.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

BAL -7.5

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Ah. Tucker is your friend.
Probably.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Watch the Texans do an encroachment penalty on 3rd and 4….

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

THEY’RE GOING TO FUCKING KNEEL DOWN. ARRRGGGGHHHH

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Sorry dude.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

NOOOO!!!! RUN THAT SHIT BACK ASSHOLE!

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Fucking dick move…

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

Oh Texans, don’t ever change.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Cmon Flacco! Cover the damn spread already.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

– A. Rodgers

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo
Member

Well, he was super-bad.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

Nice use of the shit emoji there, Apple/ATT.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I know they are trying to capture more of an audience and all, but the new NSFW Bat Signal doesn’t really seem like you could see it from across town.

h

ttps://78.media.tumblr.com/8846043c3b173d2b91109f6dba099dac/tumblr_oztmt29mUd1unp8sgo1_1280.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Why do I think Imma regret looking at this?

Oh, not as bad as I was expecting. Again, that’s probably a reflection on both of us.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I still gotta do X-men universe and DC one of these days I guess.
But, obligatory….

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I WANT THAT PAINTING IN MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

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Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

Dude was in the Marines for 20 years and retired a lance corporal?

What a fuck-up.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

They said 8 years served. Unless he got a medical retirement, he did not retire. He got out.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

Was it 8? Still, he was an E-3 after 8 years.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

So he was probably forced out. I don’t think they let you stay in very long if you don’t advance. Maybe that’s changed?

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

At my command, there was a gold chevron E-4.

So to get Gold, you had to do 12 years without going to mast. E-4 at the time, you aged out at your 14 year point.

The frocked the guy up the next rank because the fucker could not do well enough on the advancement exam. Nice guy…but how the fuck can you not advance eventually as a DC Man?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

That must have been a sight, one chevron and three gold hashmarks. I got out because I made 2nd class in 2.5 years, but the rate (Machinery Repairman) was full of 30 year Filipinos and making E-6 would have taken a decade, they only advanced two MRs to 1st class across the entire navy per cycle.
I worked in R Division with the HTs, and got really into the DC work because I didn’t have much work in my rate on the ship. They hadn’t split out the DC rate when I served.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

The dude was an alright fellow. Hell the command…or any one of his commands could have easily forced him out. Hell the only reason he advance was because the command frocked him up or else he would have been forced out.

He was stuck at the same rank for NINE years.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

Maybe he was dyslexic and didn’t test well.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

His test scores must have been astronomically bad because he regularly got awards. He was practically the head of the entire DC department because he had more time on that fucking boat than anyone else.

His evals were great. I didn’t even work in his department and I liked the guy.

I honestly think its possible he may have been functionally illiterate but he was so smart and fast on his feet that no one caught on.

I realize that sounds counter intuitive, but every adult I have met that was illiterate and people didn’t recognize it right away were fucking BRILLIANT.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

DC3 as ship’s DCA. I like it! I was on the DCETT team with all the khaki dogs because I rewrote the ship’s DC PQS manual, it was pretty weird going to the chief’s mess after GQs being the only one wearing dungarees.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

If his dad served for 8 years, he did not “retire.”

jjfozz
Member

This woman’s lips look like a baboon’s asshole

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You say that like it’s a bad thing…….

jjfozz
Member

I have discovered Pinterest. And my neighbor makes fun of me for using it. Fuck you, neighbor. Pinterest is fucking magnificent.

The Maestro
Member

Dude. What?

Seriously?

jjfozz
Member

Amazing stuff to be found. I love history, cool WW2 stuff. Stop making fun of me!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I love pinterest. Mostly because like giphy, they have the “s”.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

LinkedIn is much harder to jerk off to.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo
Member

Mazel tov!

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Was expecting a fozz rant

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

“Father Figures”

Who the fuck green lights this shit and how much cocaine are they consuming an hour?

jjfozz
Member

All the cocaine. What a scabby, pus filled, bloody diarrhea of a movie.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I’m not familiar with this one.
Somehow, it sounds like I should be happy about being unfamiliar.

Not watching live TV other than sports (and volume usually muted foar that) plan is working.

jjfozz
Member

I want someone to eviscerate Terry Bradshaw, but keep him alive so he can be fed hamburgers made out of his guts.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Like his CTE raddled brain would notice…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Let’s help the animals shelters out with Terry Biscuits (TM); made from real Terry Bradshaw.”

[Sarah McLachlan music plays in background]

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

This is oddly specific, Fozz.
Something tells me you’ve been planning this one for a while.
😀

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Oh fuck me…I just realize its not even the fucking 4th quarter yet…

Its not going to end…this fucking game is NEVER going to end!

jjfozz
Member

THAT A WAY, CHECKDOWN CHARLIE! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

HOW THE FUCK CAN THE BROWNS BE WORSE THAN BOTH THESE TEAMS BY WIDE MARGINS!?!?!?!?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Maybe they should sign Flacco.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Sorry, that was meant to be funny. I know it didn’t come across that way.
Sincerely sorry.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

We are holding out for Tony Banks…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I laughed….. of course that may be a negative attribute.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

For the both of us probably.
😛

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Mike Tomlin talking up how the game has been evolved to make it safer…just really isn’t…convincing to me.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Something about all-black uniforms that make them look like they’re talking part in a football musical instead of a game.

Shogun Marcus
Member

Oh I am a rich man, a very very rich man.

Shogun Marcus
Member

Oh so I’m the only one ever saw fiddler. Sure…

Senor Weaselo
Member

I don’t have a good Fiddler joke for this. At best… it’s a reimagining of an old classic, Damn Patriots?

nomonkeyfun
Member

Damn Patriots. Also known as the Jets AFC championship games under Ryan.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Ya gotta have tooooooooes

nomonkeyfun
Member
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Since I’m out of fucks about the Ravens, let’s crowdsource some travel info!

I have to be at JFK for a flight boarding at 6:20am tomorrow. Coming from around flatiron. What time do I need to leave? (usually have pre-check, but Virgin apparently moved to terminal 7…which doesn’t have precheck)

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

You should leave now.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I somehow knew that was coming.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

Sorry, it was just such a softball.

litre_cola
Member

Are you my doctor?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Between 4 and 4:30.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Ugh, really? Balls.

Senor Weaselo
Member

I’m not driving into the city to pick you up to drive you.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Budweiser wants to be the first beer on Mars. They know that’s not going to make it out-of-this-world good, right?

litre_cola
Member

Budweiser space station brought to you by DraftKings?

Doktor Zymm
Member

There’s a symphony version of Legend of Zelda?!

Senor Weaselo
Member

Yes. And I have not gone yet. Or gotten a gig, because there are at least some freelancers who get roped in. I think some of my friends have done it. I haven’t so they can all go fuck themselves.

The Maestro
Member

I dunno if this is the same thing or not, but I know there was a touring orchestra that did video game music selections at a number of big venues in Canada; they roped in a few acquaintances to freelance with them to fill them out, and apparently it was a shitshow to actually even get paid… went totally non-union in union shops, forgot/lost paperwork… Not sorry I didn’t get a call to do that one/even go see it in the first place.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Video Games Live?

The Maestro
Member

Yeah, that one.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Yeah, I don’t know if I know anyone who’s been on that. Or I do and no one was on SotG. Either way I believe it.

nomonkeyfun
Member

Also, there is a string quartet. I thhink called tri-force quartet. I saw them do the original zelda theme and a few others.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Also not me!

nomonkeyfun
Member

Of course not. There wasn’t a gallon of hot sauce on stage.

Senor Weaselo
Member

“Dear Steve, You guys want/need a string quartet for the Stage of Doom? One-quarter of the group will work for hot sauce.”

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

List of NFL QB’s salary for this season ranked.

Joe Flacco, Baltimore, $24.55 million
Carson Palmer, Arizona, $24.125 million
Kirk Cousins, Washington, $23.943 million
Matt Ryan, Atlanta, $23.75 million
Matthew Stafford, Detroit, $22 million
Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay, $20.3 million
Cam Newton, Carolina, $20.166 million
Philip Rivers, Los Angeles Chargers, $20 million
Eli Manning, N.Y. Giants, $19.7 million
Andrew Luck, Indianapolis, $19.4 million
Drew Brees, New Orleans, $19 million
Russell Wilson, Seattle, $18.8 million
Ben Roethlisberger, Pittsburgh, $18.2 million
Sam Bradford, Minnesota, $18 million
Alex Smith, Kansas City, $16.9 million
Derek Carr, Oakland, $15.7 million
Andy Dalton, Cincinnati, $15.7 million
Tom Brady, New England, $14 million
Mike Glennon, Chicago, $14 million
Jay Cutler, Miami, $10 million
Tyrod Taylor, Buffalo, $9.7 million
Jameis Winston, Tampa Bay, $6.9 million
Marcus Mariota, Tennessee, $6.6 million
Blake Bortles, Jacksonville, $6.57 million
Josh McCown, N.Y. Jets, $6.5 million
Jared Goff, L.A. Rams, $6.4 million
Carson Wentz, Philadelphia, $6 million
Brian Hoyer, San Francisco, $5.3 million
DeShone Kizer, Cleveland, $899,711
Tom Savage, Houston, $765,146
Dak Prescott, Dallas, $635,848
Trever Siemian, Denver, $628,196

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

I see you’re using the loose definition of QB for this list.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

I feel like there should be three more Browns “QB’s” on that list…

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

No offense, but weren’t you the one defending Flacco (sort of) not too long ago? Or at least defending against my lack of satisfaction with him?

I’ll hang up and listen.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Are you trying to argue he is not far and away the best QB in Ravens history?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Not trying to argue at all, actually.
Just checking my memory. Pretty certain I’m correct on this one tho.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

yes.

Say if the Ravens cut Flacco in the offseason, I think its safe to say he will be brought in by 2/3rds of the league for a starting position.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Ah, see, my memory is better than Moose led me to believe.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was. While Flacco is not playing at all well (sucking donkey balls), he is not nearly the only problem on offense.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I’ll definitely give you that.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Also, apologies to JSD. This is why I check my memory from time to time, fwiw.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

No I remember arguing with you about this as well.

I honestly think Flacco is in the top third of QB talent in the league. His playoff record is fucking outstanding.

In that list, there are some younger people I could see potentially taking over Flacco. Then there are the obvious super stars. I just don’t believe that the majority of the list QB’s are “better” than Flacco, especially since he has won a fucking Super Bowl.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Correction…he managed to not lose a super bowl. In spite of trying very hard.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

That still places him in a small…if not elite-ish…group of quarterbacks.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

OK

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I agree he isn’t living up to the contract; but they are not doing him any favors with who they have on offense.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He had two very good playoff runs and a SB victory; that would get almost any QB a favorable contract.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think he was too. My point was more of a market value and timing point.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Still more talent on O than the Donks; two good receivers and…..

litre_cola
Member

I thought that Stafford made the most money. Where the hell is Nick Foles??

/hopes you read my preview and bye week update

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Cap hit vs cash

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t think his kicks in until next year.

Shogun Marcus
Member

Staffy by total contract is most, but will never see the full deal. Also does not include the all-important signing bonus. He cleared 50 mil this year.

wpDiscuz