You Philistines Don’t Deserve Marcus MarioTa – Titans 2019 Preview

A lot to unpack there! First, hey Fox: fuck you for the misspelling. I’m gonna speculate that the graphics guy was an older feller who thought “Sounds like Torretta, Ruthless Posse WOOO”, and didn’t name check out of self-satisfaction (“I can’t be racist, I know Italians!”). Too much? Listen, you misspell

Guay Referendum: 2019 Copa América Day 3

Today is the debut of Paraguay and Uruguay in the Copa América. Fish out of sand Qatar takes on Paraguay and the better Guay (YMMV) takes Ecuador. But let’s acknowledge the significance of this day. Via Happy Vasectomy Awareness Day, reprobates. The smell of baby powder makes me squirm like a vampire

Hot and Unstable: Argentina 2019 Copa América Preview

Prodigious resources wasted by incompetent narcissists: that’s Argentina. But enough about politics. Let’s talk fútbol. In the last World Cup, Argentina had one of the more STACKT rosters but were buried under coach Jorge Sampaoli, a clueless diva whose main talent was out-asshole-ing himself. “Smurfs! I HATE SMURFS!” (traslation mine) In Russia 2018,

Losers No More! Champions League Final Open Thread

It’s the biggest game of club fútbol and we’re getting the equivalent of a Vikings – Bills Superb Owl. "Can I deesterb you for a moment to ask if you would hold these two beers for me please", asks Jürgen Klopp to Marv Levy, for losing SIX finals. For Tottenham,

Escape from 2018! New Year’s Eve Open Thread

I have been informed, condescendingly, that New Year’s is the only holiday about flipping the calendar. Yeah OK; going from December 31 to January 1 pales in significance to flipping the narrative (Columbus Day), flipping off the calendar (Pats at home in AFC Championship), and Everybody Better Love Jesus Day

Non-Union Equivalent “Hippo” Thoughts – Week 13

His Majesty King Hippo the Seer, First of His Office Pool and Evader of Chapter 7, was indisposed for this week. He received a bad "sure thing" tip on some cockfight in Havana, and here we are. Pipino (2018-2018) via Reports are that Hippo has access to his stash, he doesn't have