2019 [DFO] Banner Tournament: Ice Milk Eight, Day 1

Welcome to the Ice Milk Eight, sponsored by Flanders' Unflavored Non-Fat Ice Milk! https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3bj3o1 Don't be swayed by pretenders! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovfM7dvFto0 Which is apparently a thing now, it's a brand of organic, uh, milk substitutes? I'm not using the term "nut juice," but, yes. That. We have the semifinal results in the BLEERGH Region, to see

Two Ears, One Mouth and All–DFO Mailbag Submissions

Thanks to those who participated in the debut edition of Mouth Flies Open, the don't-call-it-a-sequel revamped reboot of the DFO Advice Mailbag.  We had some great questions, some meh questions, and some hopefully entertaining if not-cranked-all-the-way-to-eleven-illuminating advice. The only way this advice column works is with audience participation--from DFOers, your friends,

HAWT PRESEASON AXXSHUN! Thursday Night

WEEK ONE OF THE PRESEASON WOOOOOOOOOO.... Who's ready to watch sixth-round draft picks from Middle Tennessee State run into undrafted guys from Cal-Poly and Mount Union?! This is our methadone for the four weeks, before our six month heroin bender begins. 24 teams (that's 75% of the league; MATH!) play tonight. Here's

Partying in the Underworld

It's a rainy Sunday noonish, and a man with a violin is finishing his teaching for the day. Yes, of course it's Senor Weaselo, who else would it be? Senor: All right, done for the day. Maybe I'll get a bagel and a haircut? His phone starts ringing and popping up on the

2017 Quotables — Week 8 Results

Ball already across the line? Touchdown Seahawks!

SCENE: Deep in the #Content mines of DFO, a group of trained monkeys--I mean DFO writers--are shackled to their typewriters. Someone gave tWBS a laptop once, and after that, no one was issued a wifi-enabled device ever again. Quietly, nearly imperceptibly, YEAHRIGHT and SHOGUN MARCUS begin whispering to each other,

Commentist Beer Barrel: Boots on the Ground – San Diego International Beer Festival 2017

Ladies, Gentlemen and Beings of Inconceivable Horror, welcome to yet another guest edition of the Beer Barrel without Make It Snow. I am Low Commander of the Super Soldiers and much like Mattingly's sideburns, you just can't get rid of me. But fear not, for I have an extra special edition