Your “Holy shit, the Dolphins still exist?” 2019 Preview

/Scene opens with Wakezilla laying in bed, his two hands behind his head and his eyes wide open. Underneath the sheets is another body that begins just below Wakezilla's waist, with a head bobbing up and down. The bobbing stops and the sheets are raised to reveal Mrs. Wakezilla, wearing

Your Kill! Kill! Kill! How Lesser Footy caused World War III open thread

As much as we like to pretend sports is pure and innocent, we all know she has taken a few pokes from the tips of wealthy businessmen over the years and has definitely done anal (it's the sex  God can't see if you're hetero-- sorry LGBTQ). It's why in every Lesser

TWIFY: Qatar. Today’s Copa América team Preview

 Wakezilla sitting in the back of a limo while his driver, a black male, has a stressed look on his face, is driving on Salwa road in Doha, Qatar. Wakezilla: Marhaba! Assalamu Alaikum my DFO friends! Your pal Wakezilla recently got a life changing promotion that required me to move to

Venezuela: Starving for your attention. Your 2019 Copa América Team Preview

Reasons why you should cheer for Venezuela: Venezuela is starving for the attention of lesser footy fans who do not have any blood ties to any country participating in the Copa América. Their team nickname, La Vino Tinto (Red wine), is literally encouraging you to drink alcohol while watching them play! Their

Your Saturday Morning Lesser Footy Thread. Now with Obituaries!

Good morning, It's Soccer Saturday and Matchday 38 of 38 in the EPL, meaning we will have a Champion today. Hippo hands Wakezilla a note. Wakezilla reads the note All the EPL games are on Sunday and not today? Well that's some bullshit. Way to let the Americans win, England. Seeing how the season

Your Saturday AM Lesser Footy Thread

Good morning Lesser Footy fans! We’re at match day 34 and there are some key fixtures occurring today. First, here’s what you might have. . . *The screen goes all blurry and the sound of white noise can be heard. The camera is now clear and all you can see is a

Your Lesser Footy AM open thread: How soccer helped end apartheid in South Africa

The featured image is of the Orlando Pirates and the Kaiser Chiefs, two bitter enemies in the South African Premier league who are playing this morning. The Soweto Derby is one of the most legendary and insanely violent matches in the world. There has been multiple times where these two

DFO Does the Movies: Aquabro (No Spoilers in Review)

Hey Bros and Ladies, Your pal Wakezilla finally got some time off to do some fun stuff during his winter vacation. As a result, I decided to hit up Aquabro, starring my boy, Jason Bromoa. Here's my review of this brotastic film. Grab a Bud Light Lime and have a seat

Your ‘English Premier League has a Race problem’ Saturday AM Thread

Good morning fellow DFOers! Thanks to the good folks at Make-a-Wish foundation, your imaginary pal Wakezilla is hosting the Lesser Footy AM thread again. If anyone asks, I have tumorsyphilisitisosis. Yes, I know the disease sounds both sexy and very terminal. *cough* In case you are wondering about the featured image, that

Your Saturday Morning Lesser Footy thread: Jose’s last stand?

Good morning! Your favorite fifth stringer, Tom Tupa Wakezilla, is filling in for Don T, Hippo, Balls and Litre this morning. I’m not sure why Don T is out, but he was screaming something about La Llorona. I couldn’t exactly hear Hippo’s excuse because someone was pounding on his front door.

Bob McNair goes to the Good Place

/Inside an empty waiting room with an instrumental version of Creed’s My Sacrifice being played in the background /Suddenly, a Door Flies Open. A younger looking Bob McNair enters the room Bob McNair: What in the hell? Where am I? /A Confused McNair notices another door to his left and decides to walk

Miami Dolphins at the Bye: Limpin’ ain’t easy

As an older millennial . . . /Wakezilla dodges batteries, tin cans and feces thrown at him I was trained to hate MASH, particularly the theme song because it signified the end of two wonderful hours of Simpsons and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air syndicated episodes on CBC. Unfortunately, this song best describes