Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.  

So, as of yesterday in these here parts, the mask mandate has been lifted. While I’m looking forward to not wearing a mask eventually when in stores, I think it’s way early to be dropping them. I cannot figure out what the thought process (ha politics and logic) is behind this changes other than ignore the science and there’s an election coming up. Gah. I’ll still be wearing mine for the next while.

And it looks like spring is finally here. The snow has mostly melted here. Does it ever really all go away up here (climate change says YES), but now see all the dead grass and plants, so kinda wish it was still covered with the snows. But as was mentioned last week, we’re just into Fools Spring. There’s still at least another snow storm coming here and the start of second winter.

Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts. Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.  

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Great stuff!
My sister is a dietician and she told me if I drank a cup of apple cider vinegar a day I could eat anything and still lose weight. Day 9 of my all gummy bear diet is going great and I might never need to buy toilet paper again.
BC Dick

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Yes! The whole detox thing is just mindblowing. The craziest thing I’ve seen in that vein is those foot pad things that are supposed to draw toxins out of your feet and turn black because of the toxins (or because of a chemical reaction triggered by heat and moisture, but probably not that cause TOXINS!!)

I’m not a dietitian, but I am a scientist, and the amount of pseudo-science floating around concerning nutrition is really disheartening. Glad you are fighting the good fight against it.

Anyway, I’m gonna go make myself a cup of chemicals before starting work. Thanks for great Monday morning read!
Doktor Zymm

There are these predatory commercials on some of the radio stations my employees listen to and one of them says something like “You could have up to 10 pounds of undigested meat in your colon right now.”

WHAT?

The cleanse thing is insane too. Want a real cheap, effective cleanse? Drink a half gallon of apple juice.

There. Cleansed.
yeah right

I don’t know about you, but I keep an intact rotisserie chicken in my colon at all times in case of emergency.
Doktor Zymm

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The Hudson Valley Renegades are apparently auditioning people for the National Anthem, and if you think your friendly neighborhood weasel isn’t gonna go for that, you’re only slightly wrong because hey, if I can also get Senorita Weaselo on it via violin duo that’s double the money AND it becomes date night!
Senor Weaselo

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Don T

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Why the cinnamon toast fuck is there only 1 hockey game tonight?
Sharkbait

Now I want cereal.
ballsofsteelandfury

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Also, yes Latinos DO NOT talk bad about family. We may literally kill them, but we do not talk bad about family.
ballsofsteelandfury

“Well you know how he is” = Quite racist

“He really wasn’t thinking” = Very racist

“Very conservative” = misses slavery
Don T

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I should write a novel that’s a cross between classic Russian literature and quantum physics. The existential dread of a photon defies measurement at the same time as it is a product of its measurement. Does time dance to the photon’s tune? No, for the photon is irrevocably bound by the curvature of the fabric of the universe, and must face both the internal and external conservation of consequences. Also the photon drinks a lot of vodka and wears a fur hat.
Doktor Zymm

“In Soviet Russia, waveform collapses observer!”
Dunstan

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I’ve got about a month and 1/2 left before I leave New England and move back to San Francisco/Bay Area.
Driving across the country is gonna be stressful and not rocking specifically cause the higher gas prices.
Def looking forward to the car naps, random hotels, and California Mexican food.

It’s been Rocking!
rockingdog

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Best news of the day–Dr. Oz is allegedly quitting the PA Senate race.

Thank you to Mrs. Cola, whose article had to be what tipped the scales.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not all heroes wear capes. Unless Mrs. Cola does, obvs.
King Hippo

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So. Many. Zingers! Killer.

I think this is my fave:

Texas and Florida are truly in a race to the bottom, which ironically is illegal in both states.

Don T

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the charm of a Moldovan apartment building

Soon with more ventilation – V. Putin
litre_cola

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Cheering against Notre Dame on St. Patrick’s Day Eve feels so right.
scotchnaut

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Sorry if you’ve mentioned it before, but what’s “kayfabe”?
ballsofsteelandfury

The fifth, and totally forgotten, Olsen twin, I think.
herodotus450

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Evening, lizard people. The Beat is (mostly) done and I don’t have to run around like a madman! Man, I’m doing great!

…Oh yeah, except for the part where I hadn’t eaten all day. But that’s why chicken cutlets will be in the oven (once it’s preheated). No, they’re not hand-breaded. Yes, they are frozen.
Senor Weaselo

WCS

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Hi Everyone! Guess where I am?

That’s right! I’m at work. How did I get here? Took the freeways of course. Took the 110 North to the 405 North right up here by LAX.

Why yes, the tournament was just getting started when I left for work and it’s Saint Patrick’s Day too.

You can piss off now and thanks for asking.
yeah right

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This has been kicked around on Twitter by some of us, but the Chicago Bears posted an image today changing the green Chicago River to orange, (the coloUr of Protestant Ulster), and saying “that’s more like it” and it is going just great for them.
Horatio Cornblower

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UPDATE: Cleveland and Mayfield are stuck with each other.
Redshirt

Thank god. Progressive sure as hell didn’t want to start an ad campaign centered around DeShaun Watson.
Horatio Cornblower

Now I’m picturing an “At Home With DeShaun” commercial opening with a young woman driving up to the stadium and taking a portable massage table out of her hatchback while ominous music plays.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Bar Rescue with Ben Roethlisberger”
“The Continental with Bill Cosby”
“Crazy Ex-Boyfriend” starring OJ Simpson
Redshirt

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As if Papa John’s wasn’t bad enough already, they are reportedly still operating in Russia.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Shuttering their shops would be a net benefit to the people of Russia-not sure where you’re going with this.
scotchnaut

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LOL

Rex Chapman looking like the Kirklands Signature Brand Scott van Pelt

rockingdog

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Look at the gash on that thing!

Pornhub or Discovery channel?
Mr. Ayo

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Folks, I am back from a disappointingly sparsely attended bar.

My despair over UConn’s somewhat premature exit from the tourney is somewhat assuaged by my at least not being from Kentucky.

Now, how did Kentucky do in their game?
Horatio Cornblower

Umm…see, what had happened was…
NotShogunButShogun

…okay…they did okay…actually I have a feeling they’re not going to lose again this year.
Redshirt

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Kentucky lost because Thomas Massie voted against revoking Russia’s trade status. There, I said it. It’s what we were all thinking.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE PEACOCKS, I CALL THEM RAND PAUL’S NEIGHBOR, BECAUSE THEY KNOCKED OUT A KENTUCKIAN AND MADE A LOT OF PEOPLE HAPPY
Dunstan

I do believe we have a banner for comments like this.
Horatio Cornblower

That’s one less banner that Kentucky is going to raise this year.
Redshirt

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ALL TEH BRAKKETS

WCS

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Redshirt

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“Alabama getting left behind.”

-Espn announcer

-U.S. Department of Education
scotchnaut

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Browns replacing Baker Mayfield with Deshaun Watson? I don’t get it. Their Scouting Reports are exactly the same: “Ignores open, willing targets; prefers to force it in.”
Redshirt

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Love watching these games, rooting like hell for one team, then realizing I picked the other one in my bracket.
Horatio Cornblower

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Late St Patrick’s Day joke

Redshirt

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Fun fact. The first half of the tournament is over in 2 days. The second half takes another 3 weeks.
Mr. Ayo

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THESE GUYS THE WISCONSIN BADGERS I CALL THEM TEETH BECAUSE THEY ARE ALREADY VERY WHITE BUT COLGATE IS MAKING THEM LOOK EVEN WHITER.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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While losing half my life’s savings at the gas station this morning, I saw a sign on a telephone poll that said “Lose 2 inches in just 30 minutes.”

Deanna Favre probably would think that’s an ad for a quickie divorce lawyer.
Dunstan

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This has been a hell of a week and I am exhausted. Looking forward to cracking open a fresh box of wine and curling up on the couch
Doktor Zymm

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How is this team called The Raiders?

blaxabbath

They should change their name to Wrong State
Mr. Ayo

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If I was running Playboy, and Playboy was still making magazines, and Playboy was still relevant, I’d do a college feature of the girls of Nebraska so I could use the phrase “Creighton Bare All”
herodotus450

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I’ve only been watching the ncaa tournament my whole sentient life, but every time, every time I hear an announcer say “they don’t need a three, I’d go for a quick two here” is followed immediately by a guy launching and missing a bad three point attempt.
herodotus450

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How fucked up are the 2020s? The Krauts are re-arming and pretty much EVERYONE thinks this is a welcome development.
King Hippo

“How about we help the Ukraine and maybe, uh, [drums fingers on desk] maybe say Hello! to Poland? We haven’t been there in so long.”

-Germany
scotchnaut

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Is there anything in Arkansas other than pig farms? I assume the entire state is just one big field of pigshit.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What does an Arkansas prom queen and a tornado have in common? Eventually they both end up in trailer parks.

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It’s cool to see Penny Hardaway having success coaching college. I don’t know what the answer is in the NFL structure that is so deeply corrupted and nepotistic but, for basketball, the answer to calls for more black coaches is more former players who are black. Give me a few years of ex-players beating blue blood coaches and watch the ranks of idiot AD’s poaching PGs from the NBAPA union hall.
blaxabbath

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Lies I Tell Myself, Vol. XVII: “I’m only going to pick up one or two things at the liquor store.”
Dunstan

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I applaud Yeah Right’s environmentally sound decision to cut back on meat consumption, and to ensure that there is balance in the universe I will consuming his share.
Horatio Cornblower

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Found a funny;

[Depeche Mode as middle managers at an office] Reach out and touch base
rockingdog

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A frog walks into a bank and asks the loan officer, Patricia Whack, for a 30,000 dollar loan. He says his name is Kermit Jagger, and yes, he is Mick Jagger’s son. The loan officer asks him if he has any collateral. Kermit hands her a pink porcelain pig. Ms. Whack goes to the branch manager and says “there’s a frog out here trying to get a loan, and he says this pink pig is his collateral. I don’t even know what this is supposed to be!”
The manager says:”It’s a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man is a Rolling Stone!”
Gumbygirl

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Found a funny;

The trucker convoy in Washington is the platonic ideal of being rightwing in that they’re complaining about things that don’t actually exist, not advocating for anything in particular, and are growing increasingly spiteful that people won’t thank them for being annoying
rockingdog

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Barkeep just pulled out a 3 inch high stack of cards people have left at the bar in the past week, lol
Doktor Zymm

If I’m the barkeep, this is the part where I call the credit card company, get their home addresses and order sex toys to their houses.
Redshirt

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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