"OW MY HEAD!"
"UGH, MY STOMACH!"
"YIKES, MY BALLS!"
These may be some of the thoughts going through Hippo's head today as he is under the weather and has requested assistance in fulfilling his weekly report to you fine folks.
Now, granted, I do not speak hillbilly although I can understand it. Thus, you
Welcome to Monday Night! In which we have the last game of the week and it happens to be a good one if you like the colour "light blue".
This also works if you like teams that are stuck in the middle
of the mediocrity zone that is a .500 record.
Whores gotta work: Jason La Canfora is stoking the Le'Veon Bell trade rumours.
He emphasizes "decreasing value" and how the Steelers aren't getting the offers they want because other teams know Bell will hit the market in the spring.
His likely teams for a Bell landing? Miami, Green
The Patriots are being investigated over Patrick Chung's concussion in Sunday's loss to the Swags.
He was initially cleared on the sidelines, but after the half was removed from the game for further checks.
The League & union are investigating if all the proper protocols were followed.
The games go on in Grudentown - Martavis Bryant is back with the Raiders on a one-year deal.
Scoring 13 points & having no deep threat will certainly make an embarrassed coach take another look at a player he gave up a third-rounder for back in the spring.
A hilarious week for new NFL coaches ends with them racking up a 0-7 record, the first time that has happened.
It's also the worst since new hires went 0-6 in 2001.
Those coaches? Gregg Williams (Buffalo Bills), Butch Davis (Cleveland Browns), Dick Vermeil (Kansas City Chiefs), Herm Edwards
When asked about Le'Veon Bell's continued absence, Big Ben found the first bus he could:
"Football is the ultimate team sport. One person doesn't make or break you. I'd like to say that the linemen are more important than any skill position player, including myself. This offense is
Larry Fitzgerald is one of three Arizona sports stars to be a part of John McCain's funeral & final "fuck you" to Donald Trump.
Fitty going to be speaking at the service, and former Diamondback Luis Gonzalez & former Coyote Shane Doan will be pallbearers.
He has spent
After a penalty-filled game against the Swaguars, Vikings coach Mike Zimmer said the new helmet rule "will cost people jobs".
When reached for comment, his special assistant had this to add:
In news that will shock... SHOCK you, and possibly revive Crimebeat!, Richie Incognito has been arrested again.
It might be early, but the Packers defence is already half-done for the year: Jake Ryan is out for the season with an ACL tear.
Immediate replacements are rookie Oren Burks, the team's third-round pick of the 2018 NFL Draft, and second-year pro Ahmad Thomas.
They may also wait
Because my regular work schedule gets all screwed up in September, I'm trying to see if I can adjust my mornings to be able to continue putting the threads together. So, apologies for the next three days, but I'm trying to see if I can produce something of measurable quality
JJ Watt says he's ready to go for 2018.
He's always been ready at the start of a season; he hasn't finished a season since 2015, and played through a sports hernia to help the Texans lose 39-0 to the Chiefs in their Wild Card game.