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Your “What’s He Doing There?” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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NFL Nuggets:

  • Putting rumours to rest, Washington says their eventual name will not be “Warriors”.
    Ruining basement industries.
    • In a message to fans, the team president Jason Wright was pretty blunt: The franchise will feature absolutely “no ties to Native American imagery” going forward.
      • “We have 89 years of history in this league and failing to acknowledge our past use of Native imagery in the consideration of the new name wouldn’t be mindful of the individuals and communities that were hurt by the previous name.”
    • No hints were revealed about what it might be, likely to protect copyright jumpers.
  • Just being around this isn’t a good look: Barkevious Mingo has been released by the Falcons following his arrest in Texas for “indecency with a child – sexual contact”.
    • His lawyer gave the usual, he will be “fully vindicated when the truth comes to light. When that happens, the true motivation of the accuser will be clear and unambiguous” speech.
      • He also laments the Falcons “rush to judgement” in releasing him, like there’s no chance they want him around during any of this.
    • In case any of this is true, under Texas law he’s looking at at least 20 years if convicted.
  • Get ready for this: Mark Sanchez is moving to FOX as a broadcast game analyst.
    • He’ll be replacing Chris Spielman on the FOX C-team, as Spielman joined the Lions in a front office capacity.
      • He’ll be working alongside play-by-play announcer Kevin Kugler.
  • Aaron Rodgers said – from the golf course – that he’ll have an answer for everyone “in a couple of weeks.
    • Honestly, I’m tired of it at this point, so here’s Florio’s word salad + nfl.com‘s musings.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Nothing for a few months, but I have to point out that the pain never ends for Senators fans.

  • MLB:
    • Home Run Derby – 8:00pm | FOX / Sportsnet
  • Wrasslin’:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00pm | USA / Sportsnet360
      • taped last Friday, so Vince could make Smackdown on FOX the first “live show”.

Look, there’s nothing on. The NBA doesn’t resume until Wednesday, and the baseball All-Star game is tomorrow (unless something bad happens). So if there’s nothing you want to watch, I’m bringing back a deep-pandemic viewing tradition – MXC Mondays!

It’s “Greeks vs. Geeks”, from Universal Studios in Orlando, so it’ll be Americans getting their balls crushed. For some reason, Tony Hawk was there, but since I don’t care to find out why he’d be on 2004 Spike TV, we can just leave it at that. It’s a fun episode, but suffers a bit from the self-actualization of the participants because they’ve seen the original show. So they act like spazzes, instead of the demure reticence the Japanese participants display.

Still – if it helps you avoid talking to family, or shooting strangers sending you internet threats, then I’ve done my job.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I am so pissed that I got into the mock draft early and then got sucked into work craziness all day. I was all set to draft Chewbacca and Pam Poovey with my next two picks. Presume they are fully off the board, i don’t want to scroll/control f thought all that shit.

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Gumbygirl

Chewbacca is, but I don’t remember anyone taking Pam.

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Beerguyrob

Just post what you want & don’t bother checking other pages to see if someone else posted it.

I may have accidentally found my sweet spot.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want to donate blood next week. Please hold me to this.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

/sharpens knives

1
ballsofsteelandfury

One day I must write up the story of how I puked on a girl while going down on her.

Sushi was to blame.

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Mr. Ayo

Wait, hers or yours?

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ballsofsteelandfury

The sushi?

Mine.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Well. Now that I think about it, a little column A and a little column B.

1
Gumbygirl

Did she just totally give up on men, and now she lives with three cats and a vibrator that never lets her down?

2
Brick Meathook

Have you ever taken a shit so big it broke the toilet?

I got a plumber coming tomorrow. Good luck to him.

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

So you at Cuna or the med supply place there? I was there on business a few times and don’t remember much about the place

1
Brick Meathook

Call me when you work for Fairbanks-Morse

1
Doktor Zymm

Today I learned that the former tenant in my condo had long black hair and a poor understanding of drains. The tub drain was almost completely stopped, and I was able to pull out a giant greasy disgusting hairball with just my fingers. I eventually snaked out another 3-4 dirty handfuls of hair and clotted soap scum before I couldn’t get a grip on what was left and partly dissolved/flushed the rest out with drain cleaner. Drains are easily the grossest place in a house.

But now the shower is halfway to usable (still got to do a good cleaning and get the water pressure issue fixed) plus I got the WiFi all set up, and invented a really tasty shot, so overall a productive couple of days in Chicago

3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

I’ve got two kids with long curly hair. Which means I’m a pro at removing hair clogs now. We’ve tried all the different things to try to prevent the clogs but haven’t had any lucky yet with them

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Doktor Zymm

It’s a great argument for a shaved head hairstyle!

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Gumbygirl

I bought one of those long plastic things with teeth that hook onto the clumps. Not touching that mess with my hands, nosirreebob!

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Doktor Zymm

Those things are great! I started out with one of those, and it got a good chunk but not nearly all of it. There were multiple tribbles worth of hair in there 🤢

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Nice, that much hair is good for, like, fifty spells at least.” – Christine O’Donnell

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Beerguyrob

Two Bernese Mountain Dogs plus my normal shoulder length hair means I have a number of self-invented tools for removing clogs from drains.

2
SonOfSpam

Ohatni’s gonna be up in a few.

I kinda think MLB is promoting him a little.

Which is fine.

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Horatio Cornblower

“BUT….”

-stephen A. Smith

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ArmedandHammered

DID THE PRESSURE OF MOMENT GET TO OHTANI, WHAT IMPLICATIONS DOES THIS HAVE ON THE ANGELS AND THEIR POST SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Who’s worse as a coach, Cherry or McGuire?

0
SonOfSpam

This is much worse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdWGp3HQVjU

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Horatio Cornblower

Cherry benched talented European players because they weren’t “tough enough”, and is pretty clearly a racist. McGuire, as horrific a coach as he was, wasn’t that bad.

1
ArmedandHammered

Is it normal for when edibles to take effect that the sensation is like a run away train hitting a school bus or it supposed to slowly take effect? Because I got hit by the train.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

For me it’s a night and day thing – I blink and all of a sudden I’m high.

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

I blink and all of a sudden it’s three hours later and I’ve had a nice snooze.

1
ArmedandHammered

That is what happened for me. And right now I am lit enough to be used as a lighthouse. I can highly (ha) recommend a chocolate that is dark chocolate, toffee, and walnuts, and yes I only took one dose and did not eat the entire bar.

1
litre_cola

Some times I forget that I have taken them and bam I am in the grocery store and cooked.

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Gumbygirl

The first time I took edibles I was so high I got in my bed and clutched the blankets because I thought I was going to fall off.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE GUYS CONSERVATIVES WATCHING THE ALL-STAR EVENTS I CALL THEM EPHESUS THE UNREPENTANT BECAUSE THEY ARE BREAKERS OF OATHS.
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blaxabbath

I GET IT!

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scotchnaut

For those of you in larger organizations that have seen weaker managers get undercut, been left hanging, or had other departments with stronger leadership take on the responsibilities that that manager had? This is what is going to happen to good old Pierre. And he won’t have a clue that it has occurred.

Last edited 4 years ago by scotchnaut
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Beerguyrob

But he’ll sound confident.

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Horatio Cornblower

/left eye starts twitching

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herodotus450

Pierre McGuire as senior vice president

@Scotchy: Hhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha… to be continued

3
herodotus450

…hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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herodotus450

He did draft Sidney Crosby though, so clearly he’s got some hockey knowledge right?

0
Dunstan

He has an encyclopedic knowledge of who each player’s junior hockey coach’s high school roommate’s cousin’s girlfriend was.

Not sure how that’s going to help the Senators, though.

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Beerguyrob

“This kid’s dad used to patronize the Kanata Timmys, when he had two feet. I say third round!”

1
blaxabbath

Ottawa Senators would probably have more allegiance to the United States than Mitch McConnell.

2
Brick Meathook

What would any of you suggest as the new name of the Washington Football Club?

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King Hippo

Washington Solitary Tears

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Bullets

3
blaxabbath

Patriots

1
Viva La Tabula Raza

The Wooden Teeth.

1
Brick Meathook

I was thinking “The Washington Gooks” but Lord knows that would probably be insensitive in this day and age.

1
Dunstan

The Washington Doors Flying Open.

Those DFO shares will go through the roof, which I know you will all use to buy me drinks.

6
Viva La Tabula Raza

For the time being, they should change their name to the Washington Capitol Police. And force Kevin McCarthy and all the other members of the congressional Sedition Caucus to toss the coin at the beginning of each home game, at gunpoint.

Last edited 4 years ago by Viva La Tabula Raza
1
Gumbygirl

I don’t know, but the back of their uniforms should say Chico’s Bail Bonds.

7
ArmedandHammered

The Washington Givers……..

1
Beerguyrob

The Washington Hired Wifes.

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Ostriches, so they can be shortened to W/O

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sex Traffickers

1
SonOfSpam

Skedrins.

1
ArmedandHammered

I see what you did there…

0
ArmedandHammered

Skidmarks works for me

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

According to The Athletic and others, the home run derby will be on ESPN.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bH81s3BtdB4

0
TheRevanchist

Is that why they keep having Stephen A Smith keep jabbering about it? He’s even more annoying than Cowherd, and that’s saying A LOT!

1
blaxabbath

These are terrible men. We give them far too much consideration.

0
Beerguyrob

Well, there you go then.

0
scotchnaut

Pierre Maguire. Pierre Maguire! I’ve told this story before but I served him when he was coach of the Whalers (23-37-7 record, btw). His GM and the strength coach (the strength coach???) were OPENLY MOCKING HIM as he sat back and got drunk. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing unfold. He’s a spineless fuck.

4
scotchnaut

HE HASN’T HAD A JOB IN THE NHL SINCE 1996! HE’S NOT A FAN OF ANALYTICS. JESUS FUCK CHRIST. UNBELIEVABLE.

2
Gumbygirl

Makes you want to go out and whack a hobo, doesn’t it?

2
Beerguyrob

“A” hobo?

1
Horatio Cornblower

If DFO had existed back then I’d have paid you handsomely to poison him.

1
King Hippo

I worried for Scotchy’s mental health when I saw that bit re the Sens.

0
scotchnaut

Just saw this. I don’t know that there’s a better example in the sports world of ‘failing upwards’. In-FUCKING-credible.

0
King Hippo

ummmm, dunno mebbe Rafa Fucking Benitez???

0
blaxabbath

Who is this all about then now?

0
Horatio Cornblower

Jamaica with an outstanding goal against Suriname just now.

I do not think Suriname is going to be contending for the championship.

1
TheRevanchist

So I was a teenager when MXC was being broadcast in Japan. We used to watch it, but not understanding any words. It was still fun to watch. When they brought the show to the US and did the dubbing, they really made it more fun to watch.

2
blaxabbath

What’s the story behind the original Japanese broadcast? Do they also make fun of the contestants; I guess like US Wipe-Out (maybe)?

1
ballsofsteelandfury

I think the Japanese version played it straight. At least that’s what I’ve heard.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

52 years ago today, I turned 10 years old. Also, Zager & Evans’ In The Year 2525 ascended to number one on Billboard’s Hot 100. It would remain there for six weeks. During those six weeks, three fairly significant events took place:

  • Apollo 11 delivered the first humans to the surface of the moon.
  • Sharon Tate and four others were murdered by members of the Manson Family in Benedict Canyon.
  • Woodstock Music Festival.

All to the tune of that song (though for some reason I remember Honky Tonk Women more from that summer).
The way things are going, I wonder if we are even going to get to the year 2025.
I remember the moon landing. I vaguely remember the Manson murders. We were staying at a cabin on the beach in Provincetown in August of that year, and the next door teenagers took off for Woodstock, so I was definitely aware of that.

3
Gumbygirl

Happy Birthday! I remember going outside and waving to the astronauts after staying up verrry late the night of the moon landing. I don’t remember the Manson stuff, not from then anyway, but my older cousins went to Woodstock.

2
Warthog

Happy 52nd Anniversary on your 10th birthday. I was 5 when they did the moon thing. My mom rented a color TV (dad was in VN) and we spent three days watching everything in COLOR!

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Gumbygirl

Was it LIVING color?

2
Warthog

Ah! Yes it was. Can’t believe I forgot that part.

2
Viva La Tabula Raza

I could be wrong, but I think all the footage filmed in space was in black & white, only the earthbound stuff was in color.

0
Gumbygirl

We didn’t get our first color tv until the year the Steelers first made the playoffs. 72 maybe? Too lazy to look it up!

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

We replaced our 1958 Admiral B&W with a 1974 Hitachi that we picked up some place called Fedco or something like that over there in San Bernardino when my dad was assigned to the AF IG at Norton AFB that year.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

I was in my mother’s womb. It didn’t have a TV so I missed the moon stuff…

0
Beerguyrob

According to 40% of the internet, you missed nothing because it didn’t happen.

2
ArmedandHammered

Happy Birthday! Watching the moon landing is the oldest memory I can still access.

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

I think my earliest memory I can focus on is when all TV was pre-empted for 3 days while they endlessly televised JFK’s remains lying in state in the rotunda. Diver Dan was not on!!!

2
Gumbygirl

I remember that too. I was terrified because adults were crying, and that scared the shit out of me. I also remember dancing in front of the tv when the Beatles were on Ed Sullivan. We have seen some shit, haven’t we?

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