Subsequent GTD reflections and open thread

Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

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This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:

Life is about making an impact, not about making an income [in bed].
Kevin Kruse.

Kinda words to live by, I guess.

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As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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So Lake Mead in Nevada is drying up (THANKS CLIMATE CHANGE!) and they just found a body in a barrel they think is from the 40s. Guessing it’s not going to be the last one they find there
Sharkbait

40s. Vegas. Yeah, that’s the first of thousands
ballsofsteelandfury

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/wife and I were joking about me always being mistaken for being 10 years younger than I am

Wifey: “Now that you’ve got all that grey hair, that’s not gonna happen anymore.”

/today at the doctor’s office

Doctor: “Huh. Why are you getting a colonoscopy at such a young age?”

Me: [shrugs shoulders]

Doctor: [rifles through my paperwork later on] “Oh! You’re 58! I thought you were about 44-45 years old.”
scotchnaut

Me: Id like a colonoscopy.

Doctor: What’s that?
Brick Meathook

Graduates of The Upstairs Medical Clinic continue to disappoint.
scotchnaut

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I need new tires, so Gumby and I went out to see what size mine are. There was a roadrunner standing on the roof of my car. He was supervising, apparently. That’s the second one I’ve seen since we moved here. Meep meep!
Gumbygirl

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Gonna have me some strip mall sushi for dinner. Pray for Rikki.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Prayers sent to RTDs toilet
Game Time Decision

You know what, just take the brush outside and set it on fire. No need to clean it.
Horatio Cornblower

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Hello, dinner!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One hour later…

WCS

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It’s no fleshlight…

Gumbygirl

$20 says its also more than “gently used,” as well.
WCS

Remember, anything is a dildo if you’re brave enough
BrettFavresColonoscopy

“This is the worst advice I have ever seen.” – an emergency room doctor
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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THESE AVS I CALL THEM ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER BECAUSE THEY’RE KILLING THE PREDATORS!
Mr. Ayo

We also would have accepted the prison guards for Jeffrey Epstein.
litre_cola

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(most obvious case of goalie interference results in a goal called back)
Home announcers: “I don’t see that, I dont get it at all!”
herodotus450

If Crosby scored that goal it not only would have counted they would have called the goalie for tripping Crosby.
Horatio Cornblower

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If they call goaltender interference on that MSG is going to be more hazardous than at Chinese buffet
Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t seen Rangers get screwed like that since the 5th edition of Dungeons & Dragons came out!
Dunstan

“+3” – Hunter Renfrow
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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LOL

it occurs to me that a lot of the problem lately is a surplus of fucking around and a deficit of finding out
rockingdog

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I’m not saying the rest of you are useless, but I will say only Horatio had a box of beer delivered to my house today.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I was going to send you something, but the terms of the restraining order were quite clear.
Dunstan

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Found a funny;

give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, push a man into a volcano and the sun god will ensure a bountiful harvest this season
rockingdog

WCS

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Great now we got Chao hosting GOP coke orgies, we’ll never get the clubhouse clean
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fire should get things nice and clean

Sharkbait

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Super Nintendo Chalmers!
WCS

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Litrepug just woke himself up farting and it is god awful. Funny moment, god awful result.
litre_cola

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Are we going to talk about the fact that Cuntler casually showed up in the comments section this week like he hasn’t not been here for a year and then was actually super helpful before ostensibly disappearing for another 6 to 12 months?
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Anybody else getting a shitload more spam texts lately?
BrettFavresColonoscopy

He doesn’t have my number nor like me as much as you.
litre_cola

Shouldn’ta given me your digits
SonOfSpam

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I was exposed to COVID earlier this week (I’m fine, tested negative), so I’m staying at home all weekend drinking and watching hockey.

No, I wouldn’t say “hero” exactly, but…
Dunstan

This is what I still don’t understand. All we had to do sit at home, eat carryout and watch TV and surf the internet.

How did we screw this up?!
Redshirt

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Great hustle by everyone who contributed to Request Line today. Great, great hustle.
[slaps many asses, hard]
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Many asses were slapped hard, some others were slapped gently, your Honor. Of that there can be no doubt. HOWEVER, by joining this site it was implicitly implied that at any juncture, at any time, your ass would be slapped, HARD! I rest my case!”

-RTD, arguing his case in court after some dipshit ratted him out, smgdh…*

I was in Venezuela at the time, so you can rule me out*

**Horatio? He was at CIA Headquarters in Reston Virginia, according to his phone. Unbelievable!
scotchnaut

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“I’m not gonna lie-I don’t like Starlight Sparkle’s chances but I’m confident that she’ll make friends along the way.”

-Anon, Ohio
scotchnaut

Starlight Sparkle is my Brony name!
Dunstan

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“Summer Is Tomorrow” is pulling double duty-it’s a horse in the Kentucky Derby and a Hallmark Movie about a small town girl trying to save her dad’s granola farm.
scotchnaut

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“We like horses, basketball and denying dirty whore women the right to an abortion-come visit us soon!”

-The State of Kentucky
scotchnaut

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The funny hats, the weird names, all the prop betting, the actual event lasting only two minutes, tons of people watching from the stands-reminds me a lot of my wedding night.

/don’t feel bad-I took the over on 2 minutes and barely scraped by. Made a killing. “Thanks Baseball!”
scotchnaut

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Balls, you may proceed to gloat
BrettFavresColonoscopy

— me, after a good masturbation session
Dunstan

Is there such a thing as a bad one?

I guess maybe a splinter could be involved,
SonOfSpam

“Today, on a Very Special Monday Mock Draft on DFO…”
Redshirt

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Gumbygirl

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Found a funny;

editor: so what are you gonna name these 2 things

dr. seuss: look man, i just told you

editor: w-what

dr. seuss: [grabbing him by the collar] thing 1 and thing 2, tell me, now do you get it? just smile and nod, or i’ll make you regret it
rockingdog

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80-1 shot wins, tries to eat the escort pony after the race…feel like a piss test is in order.
SonOfSpam

After the race he tried to eat another horse. That’s the mark of a champion.
Brick Meathook

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Jordan Pickford is a Cat
King Hippo

Somewhere, in the back of a dark closet, on top of a pile of sweaters, Jay Cutler wakes up, blinks, shifts slightly in his divot, curls up, & goes back to sleep.
BeefReeferLives

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Oh man. Good evening, all. Finally got my basement quasi-set up here in the new house. Found an old Panasonic Viera 50-inch plasma TV for dirt cheap on FB Marketplace, and it’s finally rigged up and set to go… honestly, for a hundred bucks, it kicks ass. Maybe in a few years I’ll get myself some new 4K setup, but I spent the last five or so years on a tiny 32-inch LCD, so this seems still quite luxurious by comparison.

Also, the Leafs lost, which is always glorious.
The Maestro

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Y’all can be jealous. Real live Sunday Gravy at Yeah Right’s place:

ballsofsteelandfury

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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