Guttersnipe

Greetings, and welcome to yet another Tuesday bowling night. Tonight I am heading out to compete in week 23 of 27. More than six (6) months of bowling. Good gravy that’s a long season. At least it’s winter and there aren’t a lot of other options, although my area has managed to escape the weather horrors that seem to be lashing every other corner and cranny of the continent this week.

One day this will be the length of the NFL schedule. Of course by that point tackling will have been completely eliminated from the sport and standard contests will span the better part of 5 hours. Each play will be reviewed by a 147-member panel of team, league, and online betting representatives to ensure once and for all that every single moment of gameplay is perfectly accurate and correctly executed. Spontaneous joy and excitement will have finally been extirpated from the game.

Last week I took the night off bowling to do an escape puzzle room. We finished successfully albeit with some help, it was pretty fun, and I might even do it again. My bowling team managed to win two out of three games and the overall score in my absence, which really tells you a lot. Both about my bowling skills and possibly team unity. We are still languishing in second-last place but are now a mere 4 points back of the next team in line. If we take at least two out of three tonight there’s a chance we could leapfrog into 16th place. Scintillating action doesn’t even begin to describe it.

Wish me luck tonight. You’re on your own on the lanes on league night. There is no awkward, unshaven young man with the skin of a porcelain doll and hygiene like a sewer weasel to provide hints and outright explanations at the bowling alley. We’ll need every bit of cosmic interference we can get.

Of course, try to enjoy your respective nights. And just what do you folks think: Would you rather spend another 10 minutes waiting for an instant replay decision to second-guess a best interpretation or eat a live armadillo coated in itching powder?