A Completely Neutral, Thorough Preview of the AFC Championship Game

WCS: Well, strangely enough, the Steelers are in the AFC Championship Game. Again. Oh, and it's against the Patriots. Again. This after being 4-5 at one point in November. They've since run off nine-straight wins, won the AFC North, and got through their first two playoff games. Mike Tomlin and

A Team Without a Franchise Quarterback is Like a Patriots Team Without a Gritty, Scrappy, Lunchpail Type Guy Playing Slot Receiver

Editor's Note: This song, with minor tweaks, was composed by reddit user A_Participant, and I was so moved that I decided to package it along with some images.  Enjoy!  BILL BELICHICK The name's Belichick, Bill Belichick, and I come before you general managers tonight with a trade proposal.  Probably the greatest [turns

The only acceptable way to expand the NFL Playoffs

So, writers across the country are trying to fill space between playoff games by deriding Roger Goodell's idea for expansion of the playoffs solely because of this weekend's particularly sucky games.  Granted, it's an over-reaction, but any time anyone gives Roger Goodell shit for being a National Disgrace, it's also

TGISF…aka “Last Second Re-Tread and also Merry New Year!!!!!” Sexy Friday Open Thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jFOdtweVWI Beef Jerky Time!!!!   There's plenty, you know. - I'm sorry folks.  Sincerely.  This week....Thank God It's Sexy Friday is going to suck.  And I don't mean just a little bit of suck.  It's going to suck badly.  I mean like, if I got paid anything around here, this one would warrant getting

Li’l Johnny Saves Christmas, Part One: An entropy-style Christmas Special

Li’l Johnny Saves Christmas, Part One --or, This Is Not the True Meaning of Christmas, Or Even “Saves,” For That Matter-- I. Best Laid Plans   Christmas had come round again, And Johnny was going away He already made excuses to friends For missing Christmas Day.   He’d packed away his sunscreen, He’d bought extra flip-flops Johnny even paid a little extra For the

A Correction is Made. A Promise is Kept.

Int: A very dark and damp room. The only sounds are a steady drip of water and quiet sobs and moans. Victim #3: "Hello? Please. Anybody? Hello?" /more sobs and sniffling sounds are heard. V3: " I know someone is here. I've heard things moving about. Why are you doing this?" /suddenly a bare

DFO Halloween Stories: Mr. Brown’s Shortcut

EXT: Pittsburgh Steelers practice facility. Antonio Brown and Markus Wheaton are catching passes from a Jugs passing machine: Markus Wheaton: "Damn, Antonio! You can catch some serious fastballs from that machine. How many passes do you catch each day?" Antonio Brown: "I guess a couple hundred a day. Give or take. Gotta stay sharp

Is Bad NFL better than No NFL?

As I write this, we are in the Saturday before Week 8 of the 2016 Regular Season.  We started out with the treat that was the high-chroma matchup of Thursday Night Turdball poster children, the Jaguras and Titans.  Luckily for Bortles and Jaymes aficionados/fantasy football owners, the Garbage Time King did

MLB Game Day Experience: A Boots on the Ground Special. NLCS Game 4 Cubs at Dodgers.

While I am fully aware that we are mid NFL season and directly in the midst of massive football related content, I felt compelled, nay REQUIRED to make a trip to Dodger Stadium to witness in person Game 4 of the NLCS championship series. Some of you may be very

Hillary Clinton Gets a New Mock Debate Partner

INT. OFFICE - HILLARY CLINTON’S CAMPAIGN OFFICE HEADQUARTERS, BROOKLYN - DAY ROBBY MOOK: ...and so that puts us at a 94% chance of winning the election and Obama's dream of turning the United States into a gay Muslim caliphate is one step closer. HILLARY CLINTON: I like it! MOOK: That said, I think it's now

Colin Kaepernick Makes A Tough Decision

2 WEEKS AGO - INTERIOR - COLIN KAEPERNICK'S BAY AREA HOME [COLIN KAEPERNICK is on the phone with his AGENT and is clearly very upset] KAEPERNICK: Absolutely not! I won't do it! AGENT: But Colin, if you don't, he'll cut you from the team. He's been trying to since day one! And you know how