Li’l Johnny Saves Christmas, Part One: An entropy-style Christmas Special

Li’l Johnny Saves Christmas, Part One --or, This Is Not the True Meaning of Christmas, Or Even “Saves,” For That Matter-- I. Best Laid Plans   Christmas had come round again, And Johnny was going away He already made excuses to friends For missing Christmas Day.   He’d packed away his sunscreen, He’d bought extra flip-flops Johnny even paid a little extra For the

A Correction is Made. A Promise is Kept.

Int: A very dark and damp room. The only sounds are a steady drip of water and quiet sobs and moans. Victim #3: "Hello? Please. Anybody? Hello?" /more sobs and sniffling sounds are heard. V3: " I know someone is here. I've heard things moving about. Why are you doing this?" /suddenly a bare

DFO Halloween Stories: Mr. Brown’s Shortcut

EXT: Pittsburgh Steelers practice facility. Antonio Brown and Markus Wheaton are catching passes from a Jugs passing machine: Markus Wheaton: "Damn, Antonio! You can catch some serious fastballs from that machine. How many passes do you catch each day?" Antonio Brown: "I guess a couple hundred a day. Give or take. Gotta stay sharp

Is Bad NFL better than No NFL?

As I write this, we are in the Saturday before Week 8 of the 2016 Regular Season.  We started out with the treat that was the high-chroma matchup of Thursday Night Turdball poster children, the Jaguras and Titans.  Luckily for Bortles and Jaymes aficionados/fantasy football owners, the Garbage Time King did

MLB Game Day Experience: A Boots on the Ground Special. NLCS Game 4 Cubs at Dodgers.

While I am fully aware that we are mid NFL season and directly in the midst of massive football related content, I felt compelled, nay REQUIRED to make a trip to Dodger Stadium to witness in person Game 4 of the NLCS championship series. Some of you may be very

Hillary Clinton Gets a New Mock Debate Partner

INT. OFFICE - HILLARY CLINTON’S CAMPAIGN OFFICE HEADQUARTERS, BROOKLYN - DAY ROBBY MOOK: ...and so that puts us at a 94% chance of winning the election and Obama's dream of turning the United States into a gay Muslim caliphate is one step closer. HILLARY CLINTON: I like it! MOOK: That said, I think it's now

Colin Kaepernick Makes A Tough Decision

2 WEEKS AGO - INTERIOR - COLIN KAEPERNICK'S BAY AREA HOME [COLIN KAEPERNICK is on the phone with his AGENT and is clearly very upset] KAEPERNICK: Absolutely not! I won't do it! AGENT: But Colin, if you don't, he'll cut you from the team. He's been trying to since day one! And you know how

Getting to Know the New Dallas Quarterback.

*Banner photo courtesy of Getty Images [interior new Dallas Cowboys practice facility with OC Scott Linehan and HC Jason Garrett] JG: "Hey Scott!" SL: "Howdy Jason." JG: "Gonna be a hell of a ride this year, are you ready for it?" SL: "You betcha! Ya know, this year just feels different. We've had to deal

Minnesota Vikings Preview: Coach Zimmer Addresses the Team.

[interior US Bank Stadium coaches office. Inside Coach Zimmer is tirelessly studying game film of the Tennessee Titans] /knock on door [door flies open] Zygi Wilf: "Yo Zimmy! How the hell are yez? Gettin' the boys ready for another fuckin' season over heah?" Coach Zimmer: "You know I am Zygi! I've got big plans

Hillary Clinton Gets a New Campaign Adviser

[BROOKLYN, NEW YORK: HILLARY CLINTON'S CAMPAIGN OFFICE HEADQUARTERS] ROBBY MOOK: ...and that's why I'm no longer allowed at the Costco on 118th Street. But enough about my day off! As your Campaign Manager, I want to be the first to congratulate you on officially being declared the presumptive nominee! HILLARY CLINTON: Thank you,