THIS GUY RIGHT HERE, I CALL HIM CUT

BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE HIM. Yes, the Raiders cut Marquette King back on Friday because Jon Gruden didn't like his personality. Or the time he danced with a penalty flag. NEVER FORGET. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eDRjT7JWeM Teams including the Vikings are already reaching out to King about his services, but his plan is to wait until

Vignettes from Russell Wilson’s First Day of Camp

Monday morning, Tampa, FL. A car pulls up into the parking lot at George M. Steinbrenner Field. Russell Wilson: Well, here I am, first day as a Yankee. (He looks up.) How about that, Dad? We said one day it would be awesome to wear the pinstripes, and sure enough. (He parks and gets

Tales from the Meteor! O’er the Land of the Free…

Editor’s Note: Here at DFO, many of us are not satisfied with the Super Bowl matchup. For some of us, this is because we hate both teams at a level that rivals Eli Manning's hatred of the cooties. For others, our seething hatred of one team is more than enough to

Partying in the Underworld

It's a rainy Sunday noonish, and a man with a violin is finishing his teaching for the day. Yes, of course it's Senor Weaselo, who else would it be? Senor: All right, done for the day. Maybe I'll get a bagel and a haircut? His phone starts ringing and popping up on the

And Now, A Very Special Musical Number to Celebrate the Cleveland Browns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBZ7AfZR9xs (It is tradition to rise.) Ooooh and sixteen! Ooooh and sixteen! Oh and sixteen! Oh and sixteen! Oh a-and sixteen! Ooooh and sixteen! Ooooh and sixteen! Oh and sixteen! Oh and sixteen! Oh a-and sixteen! Fooooor the city of losing teams, Cleveland. Oh and sixteen! Oh and sixteen! Oh and sixteen! Oh and sixteen! Fooooor the city of losing teams, Cleveland. Oh and sixteen! Oh and sixteen! Oh and

“Oh, the Misery Continues!”: Browns at the Bye

(That was an actual quote by Sam Rosen during Jets-Browns. It was not a power-play goal.) Oh, speak to me, o Muse… because you're still mad at me for invoking you for the preview of this god-forsaken excuse of a sports team. I said I was sorry, can we edit that