Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: Starting to Get Into the Dregs of it All

Thanks to two of the four conference finals ending in sweeps and a third potentially also being a short series, the number of games before we’re back into one-sport sloggery (even if it is my favorite of the sports) wanes. But also does give us a chance to giggle at the networks who bet WRONG this year.

I mean, sure, we have the Mundial, but also *points back to the news* all this shit, which in part mars the World Cup because we’re responsible for a lot of it, even if some will shunt that responsibility.

Okay, news? Uhhhh… maybe sidestep the NFL news for today. Oh, unless it’s giggling at Mike Vrabel, but hey, now the work-life balance is improving, he says. I mean, I would also “appreciate that my family is great” if I wasn’t unceremoniously asked to exit it after the shit he pulled.

Or, not to be outdone by Madden ratings, the new Jets front-office policy is “to think AI-first.” (This team is never making the playoffs ever again.)

NO I AM NOT ASKING YOU TO HELP ME WRITE WORDPRESS. FUCK YO’ AI ASSISTANCE. THIS SENOR WEASELO, I CALL HIM LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA BECAUSE HE’D ALSO LIKE TO THANK DR. HERBERT FOR MAKING HIM A BETTER WRITER. (And to apologize for being a lazy shit in terms of handing things in on time. Or, granted, starting them before the deadline. But I got better!)

But anyways, as mentioned, it’s not much on tonight. Just one solitary hockey game on the national sports, and that’s the Quebecois Separatists hosting the Vichys at 8:00, Game 4, 2-1 Carolina.

Okay, there’s Rays/Orioles in progress on FS1. Fucking Rays, somehow finding a way to just not-lose with devil magic. (Hey Senor, haven’t they lost 3 straight and now it’s only 2.5 games? Yes, but it was neck and neck, like, two weeks ago.) You’d rather be leading the AL West right now. Which is led by the Sacramento Athletics. They are under .500. We’re getting into 1994 AL West territory, except it’ll be a lockout after the season. (Texas led the division when everything stopped. They were 52-62.)

Okay, hammered out, onto gig!

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scotchnaut

Hey, my ‘Canes in 5’ prediction is still alive!

blaxabbath

Regarding Trivago:

If I’m ever out with someone and being friendly and they start talking shit about their great hotel room rate, they can just fuck right off.

jjfozz

SO my therapist says “fozz you’ve been lonely your whole life”
okayk lemme reflect
kinda yeah, even now
“Fozz, we don’t need you in this meeitng.”
Cause I’m out of a job right now in the contract.
I sit, ponder. try not to punch a hole in the wall
Yup, I have been lonley, and those fuckers at work aren’t helponig
Fuck them. Fuck the world.

Doktor Zymm

Well, we’re happy to have you here and we’re way better than any work meeting

jjfozz

It was brutal, like the biggest fuck you i’ve experienced in 30years of working. i wanna say go fuck yourself, i really do, but i can’t so i’m probably gonna have a brain aneurysm in a day or twol then, blessed relief

Fronkenshteen

I’m making my appointment tomorrow. I have to start talk therapy again, and the VA clinic I go to has a therapist in-house now. Who knows how long he’ll stay, but he’s here now. Poor bastard. It’s probably not fun listening to my dumb ass rant for 45 minutes, but I’m a disaster trying to hold all this shit in and still act like a normal. Hope you’re ok, man.

blaxabbath

I know i need therapy. But I’ve gone this long without — now I’m just growing my issues out for style.

Gumbygirl

I’m rooting for both of you.

Gumbygirl

You too, Blax. I’m rooting for all of us.

1000007795
Fronkenshteen

Just perusing the World Cup groups and came away with 2 eyebrow-raisers:

1) If they can outperform Haiti & Morocco, SCOTLAND has a damn good chance of making it to the knockout stage, which would just be fantastic; little explosions of joy in every city in the U.S.

2) Losing Mohammed Kudus to injury is devastating for Ghana. I guess he had a setback rehabbing a quadriceps pull. Group L is tough enough even at full strength, but Kudus and Semenyo might have “snuck up” on Panama, Croatia, and the Engloids and done enough damage to get out of that group.

Gumbygirl

I need to change that pick

Fronkenshteen

Ghana or Scotland?

Gumbygirl

Ghana. I picked Scotland.

jjfozz

Fozz, you want some Pappy Van Winkle?
What hte fuck tod you think?
Three glasseslater.
“I’m going to be a professional hitman so I can kill people and dirnk this shit.’

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I see that somebody broke the news to Fozz about Emily In Paris’ cancellation.

Mr. Ayo

Welp, at least they tried by having more than 9 soggies this time.

Doktor Zymm

One of my neighbors is having some drama. Yesterday there was some solo yelling and cursing and now there’s a 2, and now 3 person screaming argument. It’s one lady’s birthday in 2 days! I can’t quite follow the rest, and I’m too lazy to move to the other room to hear better.

Oh, birthday lady is neighbor dude’s girlfriend, no idea who the third person is. Dude is stomping around upstairs now and I guess gf is still outside, yelling has stopped

2Pack

No need to go to the movies for drama. Hopefully it will not end in any gun play.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We stopped by the Trader Joe’s in Los Feliz this evening and every time we go there I’m reminded of this incident and how shit like this doesn’t happen in countries where access to guns is limited.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2018_Los_Angeles_hostage_incident

Doktor Zymm

Nah, pretty sure it’s not that sort of drama, but now I hope dude gets gf something good for her birthday!

Last edited 11 hours ago by Doktor Zymm
Sharkbait

I really dont want to see a Hurricanes-Golden Knights final. I hope a meteor falls on the rink before game one

Mr. Ayo

Yeah, this is going to be a most disappointing denouement to the season.

Even more than the Kraken missing the playoffs in a down year.

Horatio Cornblower

Shohei Ohtani is rapidly reaching the point where he’s just gotta be thrown out of baseball for making everyone else look stupid.

Sharkbait

He’ll take that bet!

litre_cola

|If he doesn’t I know a recently unemployed translator looking for some action.

Sharkbait

Fucking Hurricanes

Horatio Cornblower

Evergreen.

Doktor Zymm

I was trying to think which dystopian novel is most appropriate for these here interesting times and I think I’m going with HG Wells Time Machine

Horatio Cornblower

What a bunch of Libtards the Eloi turned out to be, amirite?

Doktor Zymm

So I’m going to see some cheesy cover band on Friday. When my friend invited me she warned me it would be a horde of white people 😅

Redshirt

Oh, sure! When it’s a group of white people it’s a “horde”, but when it’s a group of…

Excuse me, I’m getting an urgent email from the admins regarding this joke.

Horatio Cornblower

Didn’t work out so well at Lindesfarne.

Doktor Zymm

Now I’m picturing a bunch of Vikings wearing pink shorts and polo shirts while getting shitty drunk nd rocking out to Dave Matthews Band

Horatio Cornblower

That just sounds like Fyre Fest III

Jimbo

I had to look this up, horde is also used for gnats. I’m not comparing white people to gnats or am I.

Screenshot-2026-05-27-at-7.00.01-PM
Doktor Zymm

And cloud would work for white people as well!

Horatio Cornblower

The best of these, imo, is a crash of rhinoceros.

Gumbygirl

I’m partial to a murder of crows. Or a parliament of owls.

Doktor Zymm

If only it were a Parliment Funkadelic of owls!

Gumbygirl

Bootsy

1000010898
Jimbo

Murder and crows go together.

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

The Parliament of Owls is very solid, I cannot argue that.

Redshirt

It may auto play. If so, sorry.

Jimbo

Not as sorry as the guy eating that abomination.

scotchnaut

/despite my extraordinary sense of humor, Mrs. scotchy rarely laughs out loud at my brilliant jokings but tonight was different

I made a thing from the heel of a Mennonite sourdough loaf, some bologna, plastic cheese and the top of a hot dog bun.*

Me: “Would you like a bite of my ‘Make-A-Wish’ sandwich?”

Dear Reader, she guffawed

*we’re on a budget!

/there is a long, weird history that informs this joke. Huh, maybe I have something to talk about for tomorrow’s open thread

WCS

Vichy Whalers strike first, Aho on the power play. 1-0 Lowratios

Mr. Ayo

And a 2nd. So long Habs.

Mr. Ayo

Whoopsie doodle, there’s a 3rd.

Maybe they can pull an Avs?

WCS

Holy piss on a turd, Vichy Whalers have scored three in a little more than two minutes. 3-0, still in the first. HOWEVAH… we know and have seen the danger of 3-0 leads…

Horatio Cornblower

Vegas and Carolina in the Finals is really going to allow me to brush up on my astronomy, as I spend all my free time scouting the galaxy for just the right size meteor on just the right orbital path.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Josh Jacobs thing makes me pine for more Vrabel-Russini stuff. Less DV and more lol please.

litre_cola

When is Russini going to be appointed Ethics commissioner for the White House?

scotchnaut

As soon as the boob job takes, is my guess.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Never. They just fired all the women; they’re not about to hire another one.

Doktor Zymm

Eh, it’s less awful, but still enough misogyny around that story that I’m not sad it’s fallen out of the news cycle

Doktor Zymm

I’m hoping for a stupid self injury, like maybe Butker having an absurd BBQing accident or Maxx Crosby getting a really, really severe sunburn

Last edited 13 hours ago by Doktor Zymm
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Skattebo winding up in the concussion protocol because he got into a headbutting contest with a literal ram.

Doktor Zymm

And then it becomes a Tiktok challenge fad!

Doktor Zymm

Travis Kelce accidentally marries a stripper while drunk then gets torn apart by Swifties

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Christian McCaffrey hospitalized with severe electrical burns after renting a bulldozer and attempting to demolish the electrical substation near the 49ers practice facility.

Doktor Zymm

I like this game!

Dak bruises his tailbone after being forcibly ejected from a kosher deli

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