New Year Resolutions Challenge

I asked in the DFO clubhouse if anyone did New Year's Resolutions. The response was basically the banner image. Some choice comments: King Hippo: I made a New Year's Resolution to stop making New Year's Resolutions about 10 years ago. And it stuck! Fuck yo' social rituals of illusory self-improvement. BFC:

Mouth Flies Open: DFO Advice Mailbag Episode III

The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. Fantasy football questions still welcome but by no means required. 

Gazing Into Balls’ Crystal Balls – End of Regular Season

This is my weekly outlook as to who will make the playoffs,  who won’t,  who will win,  and who won’t. As promised,  I’m keeping track of what I say week to week so you can call me out on any bullshit you may see. TODAY,  I’ll recap and highlight in BOLD any

Mouth Flies Open: Door Number 2

The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. Fantasy football questions still welcome but by no means required. 

Gazing Into Balls’ Crystal Balls – Week 16

This is my weekly outlook as to who will make the playoffs,  who won’t,  who will win,  and who won’t. As promised,  I’m keeping track of what I say week to week so you can call me out on any bullshit you may see. At the end of the season,  I’ll recap

Two Ears, One Mouth and All–DFO Mailbag Submissions

Thanks to those who participated in the debut edition of Mouth Flies Open, the don't-call-it-a-sequel revamped reboot of the DFO Advice Mailbag.  We had some great questions, some meh questions, and some hopefully entertaining if not-cranked-all-the-way-to-eleven-illuminating advice. The only way this advice column works is with audience participation--from DFOers, your friends,

Mouth Flies Open: A DFO Advice Column

The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life's broad and multi-chromatic palette. Fantasy football questions still welcome but by no means required. 

Gazing Into Balls’ Crystal Balls – Week 15

This is my weekly outlook as to who will make the playoffs,  who won’t,  who will win,  and who won’t. As promised,  I’m keeping track of what I say week to week so you can call me out on any bullshit you may see. At the end of the season,  I’ll recap

Through Which Open Door Should You Go?

For many fantasy football players that aren't me, this is a huge week. And for many real football players that aren't in northern California, it's an even yuuuger week. I'm talking, of course, about the winter solstice. Oh, and fantasy football championships, and playoff hunts, and end of the year discussions

Gazing Into Balls’ Crystal Balls – Week 14

This is my weekly outlook as to who will make the playoffs,  who won’t,  who will win,  and who won’t. As promised,  I’m keeping track of what I say week to week so you can call me out on any bullshit you may see. At the end of the season,  I’ll recap

Gazing Into Balls’ Crystal Balls – Week 13

This is my weekly outlook as to who will make the playoffs,  who won’t,  who will win,  and who won’t. Essentially,  it will be an exercise in pissing Hippo and Moose off. Also,  as promised,  I’m keeping track of what I say week to week so you can call me out on any

That’s the Joke

Disclaimer: This is absolutely not NFL-related. It's not even sports related. But it is joke-related. Continue at your own discretion. Or go back to working like a chump or reading something other than [DFO] while you sit on the can. Whatever. All- As many of you are aware, my wife and I