Evening, dick jokers and jokerettes. As you may have heard, resident open threader BrewHomeyRex is on leave this weekly, likely exploiting free Canadian health care and bragging about his head-of-state's glove size. But enough about maple leaf condoms, I volunteered to fill in today for two reasons: Chanukah and the
The scene: The Secret Island of Doktor Zymm! Assorted DFOers, Olympian gods, ninjas and hangers-on are currently in the lab with the Dimensional Energy Retrieval Portal as Zymm programs new coordinates into the computer.
Ballsofsteelandfury: So...you were serious, Dok? Moose and the others are really in Hell?
Doktor Zymm (punching keys):
The scene: Hell. It's a vast, wasted landscape where the screams of the damned echo throughout the burning plains and jagged mountains. The sky itself is smoke and fire and one can only look upon the devastation and know the bleak feeling of despair.
So really, it's a lot like Detroit.
The scene: The Secret Island of Doktor Zymm! Specifically, the rec room, where it's beginning to look a lot like Moosemas. Marc Trestmans Windowless Van is on a ladder, hanging up orange and blue tinsel and...
What? Oh, yeah. The base has a rec room. It's pretty cool. 120-inch projection TV,
The scene: The parking lot of the Iguana Mart in the future. Like, waaaay in the future, man. There's currently a one-sided firefight going on, as an enraged blue-skinned sexually-ambiguous bartender is shooting at several DFOers with a Multi-Use Explosive Rocket Tracking-Enhanced system. The DFOers, for their part, are hiding
The scene: The Secret Island of Doktor Zymm! Specifically, the lab where Doktor Zymm is trying to resurrect Yolanda the vampire from her current state. Which is basically dust and ash. The lab is filled with bubbling chemicals, test tubes, beakers...all that science-y stuff. Doktor Zymm is pouring the last
The scene: The Deadly Jungle on the Secret Island of Doktor Zymm! A pair of crabmen, having escaped the lab (and an angry Fozz) are making their way through the foliage.
King Crabman: Gbt tvu mk. [Well, that was certainly a setback.]
Crabman #1: Mk! Tku vk gtgt! [A setback? We
The scene: An abandoned cabin in the woods, where Angry Girl Scout has brought Unsurprised, Litre Cola and the Maestro, in order to sacrifice them to her dark master in return for unimaginable power. At the moment, the three are tied up and leaning against the couch. Each of them
That last film was pretty...weird. It must have been one of those European horror films that don't make as much sense in English. Or maybe it was Mexican. There was a masked wrestler in it, after all. And you're pretty sure it was dubbed. Whatever it was, though, it sure
Holy cow! That was intense! Like, that Moose guy found these cannibals trying to eat this brain guy, and then this old cannibal lady showed up and hacked him real good with a big ol' axe! There's popcorn all over the car now...you feel a little sheepish about getting so
The scene: The Secret Base on the Island of Doktor Zymm! Specifically, right outside of the secret base, where there's a yard sale in progress. Ninjas and techs are looking through the variety of toasters, clocks, beakers, centrifuges, weights, televisions... Marc Trestmans Windowless Van is sitting at a table with
How you managed to get a date with Debbi Jo Sopinsky is still a minor miracle, but you did! And now here you are, sitting at the Vista Vue drive-in, waiting for the double-feature to start. It's going to go a lot better than your last date. I mean, it