So it’s 10:25 am and I’m looking at last night’s thread. I’ve been up for a while, moving furniture and such in preparation for this week’s commencement of the Great Kitchen Gutting which will occupy my time, (well, not my time per se, but definitely our house, our money, and a great deal of the time belonging to the people actually doing the work; I stay in my lane on home renovation, and that lane is “just shut up and write the check, stupid”), but I got to sit down and figured I’d open up a new spot.
As I write this Manchester City, led by T-1000 Erling Haaland, (oh sure, now the title makes sense!), is dismantling Wolverhampton 3-0, and just had a 4th goal called back for offsides. Suffice it to say that my Gunners are going to need all 3 points against ManUre to keep their lead in the Premier.
I see I’m not yet at 250 words, but since I did this out of the very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, (I’ll keep going if I have to), generous nature of my probably pretty well-clogged heart, I’m gonna call it good enough.
Yours in the comments, at least until Scotchy gets here with the NFL Open Threads this afternoon.
(Does anyone want a slightly used baker’s rack? I don’t want to carry it down the stairs)
(255 baby) (nailed it!)
https://twitter.com/lebatardshow/status/1617236838476832768?s=46&t=NHJX4_mzQi9GbB7ih-Et9A
Damar Hamlin is in the stadium. The Bengals are screwed.
“Ha ha, totally!” — The Narrative
Mother Nature, believing in fairness, is hitting Cincinnati with 3 to 7 inches of snow.
*Sigh*
D. Favre
Faux Joey Brrr on Twitter: “Inside Paycor, where the game SHOULD HAVE BEEN https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/14.0.0/svg/1f976.svghttps://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/14.0.0/svg/2744.svghttps://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/14.0.0/svg/1f976.svghttps://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/14.0.0/svg/2744.svghttps://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/14.0.0/svg/1f976.svg https://t.co/J3VjE0Plv1” / Twitter
What the fuck is up with Rex Ryan’s teeth?
IT’S SNOWING IN WNY WOO!!!!!!!!!!!
(begins watching “Se7en”, “Saw” and “Duck Tales” for suggestions on what to do to Roger Goodell for screwing over Cincinnati)
John Doe and Jigsaw ain’t got shit on Magica de Spell.
Yes, and Glomgold’s sharks in parkas has potential, but personally I’d lock Goodell in an empty Money Bin and slowly drip money on him, one dollar bill, one coin, one gem, one diamond at a time.
My word, Comrade Zinchenko has an extremely strong grasp of the English language. He might need to help Juergen Klopp with his interviews after each Liverpool loss!
The world is weird
https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/21/asia/hong-kong-pig-kills-butcher-intl-hnk/index.html
Hong Kong pigs are by far the most viscous of the species!
Just ask Mister Wu!
Cocksucker!
Seems fair.
This feels like a Yakov Smirnoff joke
My youngest is way into soccer. My two older boys are also into watching pro soccer.
My mother in law is praying for the death of every atheist across the entire pro soccer league.
Get them into Everton. BUILDS CHARACTER!
I think they’re man united fans. my friend grew up from england and is a liverpool fan.
i just sit there and make fun of the game, brings me pleasure.
Punch your Liverpool supporter friend in the nuts for Hippo, eh?
Premier League announcers have no equal: “You wonder…you WONDER” at the closing whistle. Just awesome.
Team of destiny, this
Incredible.
HUZZAH! NKETIAH YOU BEAUTY!
This Arsenal team might be pretty pretty pretty good…
I don’t know about this one.
Your player of the match…VAR!
That needs to be a card for diving. Greg Louganis thinks that’s a bit much.
That’s a hell of a save, although I also hate it.
A yellow card. “And Confucius say, name go in book.”
And just a moment ago, Karl Marx called for offside!
This guy gets it.
“Beckenbauer a bit of a surprise there.”
.
I can’t decide if ManUre looks white because of their uniforms, or because Arsenal keeps coming and coming and coming.
We’re all excited about Barcelona-Getafe, right?
/Ducks
This has been a superb match.
Especially without any emotional investment
It really has.
Must be said, it is GREAT having a genuine Fuck Lions supporter in the Clubhouse
Agreed. Specially now that they’re good!
Who would have thought that it was Fat Sackford that was holding them back?
Totally ignoring the draft picks that Detroit got for him
I was the Vice President of the Detroit Lions fan Club of NYC in 2008 when they went 0-16. I’m dumb, sick or both.
Huh. So I guess that means that, if the President of the Detroit Lions Fan Club had died… it would have been a sweet mercy?
The President and I were never allowed to ride in the same cab together…for obvious reasons.
Goddammit.
Ramsdale’s had a solid game, but that was a shit clearance attempt.
Ramsdale probably called for it, but Tomiyasu likely got Lost in Translation.
That’s what we get for relying on “exotics”, eh, your Lordship?
BULAWAYO SAKA! WHAT A HIT!
Holy cats,Saka!
Holy shit, Saka!
The 250 word minimum is now just a suggestion. In older versions of WP it was set, but it’s no longer preventing the post if below the limit.
/the limit does not exist
I’m completely conditioned by this point so 250 it is.
You shouldn’t tell anyone this, all of the future posts will just be the word “GO.” Except for Alex Demote’s.
Ya, Alex is totes bringing up the word count per post average up to 4 digits all by themselves
/that average is not something we track
//nor should we
He is awesome!
Why the fuck did CBS give Brady Quinn a job in studio? How long has this been going on and what other staggering incompetence have you all been hiding from me?
I beg your pardon, our staggering incompetence is ALWAYS on full display!
If I’m not mistaken, and not gonna google it, Trent Green and Tim Tebow are also talking heads
“I’m not sure about that either.”
–Trent Green
“Do clicks and whistles count?”
– Trent Green
“We think they do” – several species of small furry animals gathered together in a cave and grooving with a pict
“Nice work!” – Antonio Cromartie
“I second that!”
-S. Kemp
“Rookie”
– Houston
Is it bad that I’m hoping the afternoon game is a blowout so I can take a nap?
Naps are never a bad thing, unless you’re a pilot.
Racing driver, too.
Or have a back injury
-NFL Medical team
/surprisingly useful info from them
Will a Spaniard be less demonstrative while coaching on a yellow card? Let’s find out!
(the answer is “no”)
Jeebuz-Nistelrooy took 65 games to get to 4 hattricks in the Premier League and Haaland has done it in 19.
https://www.change.org/p/petition-to-get-erling-haaland-banned-from-association-football-because-it-s-just-not-fair
That was a hell of a goal. What a move by Nketia
Sir Elton was onto something.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tg-Q-Acv4qs&ab_channel=EltonJohnVEVO
My god we’ve got a game here.
Weird update from the world of pocket pool
Deserves the rare Sunday Spotlight Dance it is getting.
Run roh, Pistoleros
A cracking header responds!
I couldn’t even complain about Rashford’s goal; that was a hell of a shot.
My second in command at work has been undergoing home renovation for almost 2 years. He’s close to retirement and his wife has about 10 years of work left and they figured let’s do it now before retirement.
Every day he shares horror stories and every single day I’m thankful that I’m a life long renter.
I own but it’s a townhouse. No renovation until I die, unless I get better carpet.
Being the “sole vote” in the household is essential.
Our last go around was nearly 20 years ago Wifey bore the brunt of it because of the language complexities involved. Nearly drove her nuts. But I did my part by watching like a hawk and bro’in it up with the workers whenever I could. I probably saved a couple grand by helping with the non skilled hauling and cleaning. I learned a lot on basic renovations in the states as a kid helping my Dad in his part time gig as a realtors handy man. So basic electric, plumbing, framing, sheet rock walls, porch building, etc… And I helped a friends Dad build his place. But over here its not wood frame and sheet rock, its all brick and masonary. Still I fix most basic electrical and plumbing myself and help out on the big stuff, it pays off.
I can do some preliminary demolition but that’s about it. I am not handy.
Just clean up could save you some billed man hours. I would do that shit after they left for the day.
When I was married, I was simultaneously shamed for having no skills in this department (doing all the family laundry got me no credit b/c it was not “man stuff”) while not being allowed to use tools more dangerous than a screwdriver.
I really am about as non-masculine as a heterosexual, perverted sports maniac can be.
Never too late Buddy. Get yerself a nice tool belt and wear it low slung… Chicks dig it…
Here we go with the Spirit Animal stuff again! I can’t do any handy stuff at all and Wifey is the daughter of a contractor so when I
tryfail she says, ‘just give it to me’./weird thing is as a teen I learned quite a bit about truck engines and such but I’ve lost it all and can’t name more than 10 things that are under the hood.
My dad tried hard. Really, really hard to teach me to change my own oil. I watched and even at 16 was like “I see about 12 things that can go wrong with trying this, and all to save like $5”
Meh, while I’m some what handy, paying someone to do it right the first time and having it done quickly is worth the extra money to me. The pros have those tricks that make the job quicker/easier for them, that I’ll never learn
My word! Do keep us posted on your home renovation project. I may need some ideas for the mansion that I am building on the ancient Zulu burial ground in Beitbridge!
Turning to more important matters — I see that my favourite imperious Belgian winger has joined the ranks of the King’s Finest! Let us hope that he will feature today in the battle against the forces of evil!
I think he’s more likely there for depth, but still a solid addition. Much like Jimmy Swaggart coming out of a brothel, Arsenal really miss Jesus.
“Does anyone want a slightly used baker’s rack? “
If we’re talking about Giada DeLaurentiis, absolutely.
I wish I had that sort of power.
Holy Green Screen, Batman!
You’d just play with your tits all day
And?
He does that most days anyway.
I’d map the whole thing…
We redid our kitchen last year, and we live in a 110-year old house subject to a Historic Preservation Board. It was like a perpetual catheterization.
Good luck with the redo, and may it be less painful than ours.
But in the meantime, have plenty of good bourbon and Luxardo cherries on hand.
“While we would like to approve your renovation plan, no one in your house has diphtheria, and that is not consistent with the historical era in which your kitchen was first designed. Please resubmit your plan once one or more of your family has contracted diphtheria.”
-Historic Preservation Board
Preservation Board: We request that you submit to us the color of your exterior window sealant.
Me: It will be painted to the color of the period-specific wood window.
Preservation Board: It is still in the guidelines that we approve the sealant color.
Me: Ok, on to item 1b, out of 37. [I die inside]
Welcome. I don’t think we have a Lions fan.
Now I want a bourbon at 10 am.
Thanks. Longtime reader, first time commenter. This site has made me laugh quite a bit in the past few years.
As morning bourbons go, I would start with something with a hint of caramel, like Willett Pot Still.
Whereas most Lions fans consider Amon Ra St Brown as something with a hint of caramel.
That was Johnnie Morton. He dated a friend’s older sister way back when.
Arsenal plays Manchester City next week, so I’m calling for 35 minutes of extra time here.
(Wolves still won’t score)
I’m looking forward to, or maybe also just accepting and check writing, the renovation thing this spring too. It will be a whatwillIfindafterworktoday period in life, what an adventure!
It has to be done, and I’m bracing for a number of surprises from our 70+ year old house, (“Your wiring is wrapped in cardboard! These water pipes are just lead straws!”), that will just add to the expenses. Can’t wait for the next 6 weeks!
Probably figure it will end up 20-30% more expensive than the estimate, these usually go that way. Until they tear certain parts up its hard to estimate what the sub structures really look like.
I have taken the precaution of tripling our home equity line of credit.
I did enjoy not having a mortgage for two years.
Does it still have knob and tube electrical? We found remnants of that.
We replaced that when we moved in, but once they gut the kitchen/bathroom, (why yes, the originals owners did build a shitter right off the kitchen, as one does), and get down to the wiring behind the walls I’m sure we’ll be having a lot of discussions about “code requirements” this and “fire hazards” that.
When we redid my old house, the electrical wires were wrapped individually in some sort of oily canvas and kept apart by concete knobs which had basically degenerated into some sort of sand, it is never a good thing when the electrical contractor looks at it and goes “what the fuck is this?” Especially when the plumbing guy goes “I know, right?” from the bathroom.
You may as well finish the rest of the project with vultures perched on the chimney at that point.
This was a very, very, very, very, very, very good post!