Sexy Soccer Saturday Open Thread – The REAL Fútbol Begins

ballsofsteelandfury - August 18, 2018August 18, 2018

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So, last week, King Hippo took you through the beginning of the English Premier League (EPL). In addition to the EPL, the French league, Ligue 1, started last weekend. Here are the standings for both leagues: Meanwhile, La Liga and Serie A BOTH start this weekend while the German Bundesliga starts play

Properly Kicking Off 2018-19 Lesser Footy

King Hippo - August 11, 2018August 10, 2018

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Yes, Sulky-assed Mourinho's United and what tattered remains of Lester played a wet fart of a Friday nighter, but the sooner we forget that happened, the better. On to a full slate of magic! Spurs are at the Barcodes to start us off (7:30, NBCSN). Now, the toothless ones flirted with

Farewell, Sweet Prince: World Cup Day 13

Wakezilla - June 26, 2018June 26, 2018

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Good morning! Thank you for coming. I hope you had your cup of Joe and are ready for some intense lesser footy action. Group C and D will finish their group play today. As I was on my way home from work yesterday, I began reflecting on which World Cups I

2018 World Cup Sabado 23 June Open Thread

King Hippo - June 23, 2018June 23, 2018

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Here is some half-arsed analysis from a half-arsed Hippo who is no longer watching Torneo Del Diablo. My cohorts will do better. Me did find nice picture FOAR teh peoples. Group G - Belgium (-300) v. Tunisia (+850; draw +400) (8:00 EST, Fox) Tunisia are liquid shit, but they still almost got

2018 World Cup Wednesday Open Thread

ballsofsteelandfury - June 20, 2018June 20, 2018

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Into the next set of games! We have now seen everyone at least once and so conclusions can be drawn: Nobody knows anything. Sí se pudo. No one team looks unbeatable. This, to me, makes this a very exciting tournament. Wakezilla compared it to 2002 and that's a great point. That

Russia 2018–World Cup Day 5: Navigating Monday

King Hippo - June 18, 2018June 18, 2018

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Dodging work on Monday is especially difícil. FFS, I actually have a conference call scheduled for this afternoon. I for reals have to talk to other carbon-based life forms on the fucking phone, during the World Cup. SIGH. First World problemos. Anyway, above is Tunisian Kenza Fourati, because reasons ok! Group F -

2018 World Cup Team Preview – Colombia

ballsofsteelandfury - June 10, 2018June 10, 2018

Quite a few of us resident DFO Lesser Footy enthusiasts have Colombia as our sleeper of the tourney. Therefore, we've decided to split up the preview amongst us, roundtable style. Without further ado, *** Balls Colombia invented the butt-lift jeans. Seriously. Some places call them "levantapompis" or "magicola". Just know that if you see any

World Cup 2018 Team Preview – Sweden

ballsofsteelandfury - June 5, 2018June 3, 2018

Whatever happened to the Swedish Bikini Team? I mean, yeah, they were really American models that were put together for an Old Milwaukee advertising campaign in the early 90s, but still... The eternal question remains: how hot are real Swedish girls? Um, yeah... so the answer is VERY. But this is a World Cup

World Cup 2018 South Korea Preview: So you’re saying there’s a chance

Wakezilla - June 3, 2018June 3, 2018

*Scene opens to a pitch black room. All you can see is black and the sounds of an older man grunting* Old Man breathing heavily: Oh yeah, that little black dress is getting a little uncomfortable. Take it off, baby. *The sound of pumping Vaseline can be heard* OM: Oh yeah, almost there,

World Cup 2018 Costa Rica Preview: Mangoes FOAR All!

King Hippo - May 30, 2018May 30, 2018

Costa Rica is a delightful Central American nation. Friendly people, tropical weather without the bullshit Carnival Cruise tourismo atmosphere to trigger the shit out of one's white guilt. I thoroughly enjoyed my Divorcemas trip there several years ago. They have a saying for how the peoples live - "la pura

2018 World Cup Preview: Iceland

DFOing Good

Senor Weaselo - May 27, 2018May 27, 2018

The other day I saw an ad on the social medias that wasn't about Cambridge Analytica, but was for some liquor stating that due to the United States not qualifying for the World Cup we should all be rooting for Iceland. Now, I found this quite peculiar, because I'm fairly

World Cup 2018 Peru Preview: Cocaine is a hell of a drug

Wakezilla - May 24, 2018May 24, 2018

The guy in the featured image is Inti, God of the sun. As you can tell, he isn't fluting around. Inti is revered as the most significant God in the Incan state. Legend has it that he is the son of Viracocha, the god of civilization, and that Inti was