While we wait on the Easter Bunny to spring back into life, at least there is sportsball to keep us occupado.
Home to Still Shite But Trying Harder Everton (7:30, USA) should be a nice cure for the Fightin’ Wakeys goalscoring woes. I am still mad at them for capitulating so meekly to the Bonesaws last weekend, not that they really care. But STILL.
The 10:00 window has the arse end of the Table covered, though the Title race will have to wait. The newly-Hippo-Christened (topical!) All Hams Matter Derby (Ful v. West, Peacock) is a righteous streaming option. USA will instead cover the clown show that is Frank Lampard’s temporary return to the Chelski touchline. Wolves have been dire of late, so it could be the happy kind of clown show (this week only). Praise Beesus against the Bonesaws is at least mutually top half, I guess (also Peacock).
Sometimes the Spotlight Dance is but a gentle lullaby to send one to nap town. Like when Sham Town hosts the in-form City of Men (12:30, NBC). Supposedly, they will even get Hulk SMASH back, taking the likely scoreline from 4-nil to 6-nil. Fun!
You have to wait until Easter proper to see the putative champion King’s Afrikan Water Pistols (11:30, Peacock), away to the filthy Redshite. Will I break my laptop over a Fuckweasel Klopp “resurrection” joke? PROBABLY!
Beyond that, I got nothing for ya. Baseball is deffo the “hellscape kind” of clown show, so who gives a flying fuck. And no, I am not impressed by Oli Marmol’s weirdo “redass” routine. SIGH.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KO4Q66VYgZE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0LzsThR2eI
That time o’ year..
“HAPPY EASTER AND BITE MY WRINKLEY BALLSACK”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KO4Q66VYgZE
SET EM UP COUNTRY MUSIC ITS PARTY NIGHT
Lone Pine, California
Right now
(Lone Pine is 2 hours north of L.A. at the base of Mt. Whitney. All the water here is owned by the City of Los Angeles)
I walked through those double saloon doors and stood there. All the local cowpokes stopped what they were doing and looked at me.
I stood there, eyeballing each and every one of them as they sized up this East Coast raised city guy from Los Angeles.
“I smell sheep shit” I announced in a slow clear voice.
(to be continued . . . )
Here is a vintage street scene generated by an AI program. The language on the signs is gibberish, and all the cars are fictional. The front windshields are actually back windshields. There are no drivers. Little details. This is real Twilight Zone stuff. I like it.
Mojave Desert, near Edwards AFB:
Saw the space shuttle Atlantis land there.
Woke the damn kids up and said “Hey girls, let’s go see the space shuttle again.
The first landing we had to take an exit off of old 58?
Exited of of 29 Mule Team Road or something.
We couldn’t get on base for this one since it was a closed mission and all.
We took an access road parallel with the landing path.
Incredible.
58 is one of the best drives in California. Always have the sun behind you.
And the whoop de doos are great.
The carrot muffins smell great. Litre cola is in bed because he is a father. He cannot drink like a single man like me cab drunk. I’m not rewinding in that spelling.
I had to stay up for the muffins.
This is outstanding. It’s like watching the movie ‘Crash’ without all the weird sex.
You made beautiful muffins. We are all very proud of you.
Lazio won “keeping pace” (ONLY 16 points back with 8 games to play) with Napoli.
That’s a great shot!
Out sightseeing today:
Skunkworks Rd. was not nearly as fun as it sounded.
I guess all the skunks were at work?
What the hell were you doing out in Palmcaster???
Looking at flowers and drinking in Lone Pine.
Fuck, I love Lone Pine and Bishop!
You passed my old homestead in Ridgecrest and Inyokern.
I’m staying overnight in Lone Pine. This is my favorite stop in the Owen’s Valley. Mt. Whitney is across the street from my motel.
I climbed most of Mount Whitney in 1977. Damn near got to the top but we were just hiking and had no climbing gear. Got really fucking close.
Happy Easter to you east coast peeps.
And a Happy Easter to you.
Lets smoke some hashish!
Listening to skatalites, olling another j, watching BC dick make carrot muffins. Apparentky he plans to enter them in the Okanagam fair. I asked for chocolate chips and was slapped.
Sourry, but you deserved that slap.
as for to the thing about skyline chili: it is not bad at all. For canned you can do so much worse
And I I can’t Name better.
And also; not surprisingly Brad made perfectly cooked spaghetti
Also. Any of you from Cleveland are worthless swine. I’ll bust out optn with my Canadian cincinattit clobber fist. That is English.
I need pics, damn it!
Which Brad?
That was a type. His name is Brady. He’s a shit heel and he’s not the best.
For all of the lawyers out there, and those who are politically active…
Bad idea. Then they can come in the restaurant with you. Home support worker would be just fine.
I dont know man. Cant be thatt bad.
Stay tuned Tuesday for results
Wait, why are we waiting until Tuesday?
He’ll be shitting until then.
Poor turlet
More in depth analysis than fuck I’m high
So…full…of…beef…
All that’s left to do now is drink.
Oh, and maybe some apple pie.
This looks like diarrhea
Now this man has officially seen Skyline Chili!
Stoned us think carrot muffins would be good later too.
Like carrot cakes? It would be a good idea!
Saw a person wearing an Arsenal jersey at the grocery store. She probably has some serious emotional issues.
Leave my wife alone.
One more has doob should make it fit.
/I wrote this 10 mins ago and didnt send. This imy state of mind going in to this
Has doob! Has all the doob!
We’re not hungry but we’re going to make some canned chilli on spaghetti with some onions and cheese. I thought hot dogs would be better. Covered in skyline chili. But we’re doing can directions. I don’t want any of it. But the best things in life are forced on people who pretend to not want it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXU2vZTTeMU&ab_channel=TryggviHjaltason
What brand of chilli? some are better than others.
Skyline. The one and only. I sent it to him.
I hope you put pics of your nutsack in the box, to make the box even more fun to open.
I brought my BIL BC Dick into this
I don’t think I can get more stoned for this. I like spam so am down with canned beef. This will be something different I reckon.
Happy easter eve
We are now home from 4 breweries, perparing for Skyline chili.
Shitting out beer from four breweries is indeed how skyline chili is made
Is that a 4way?
/have no idea what the different ways mean or are
As long as Litre and BCD remember….no eye contact or it’s weird smgdh
I always make litre give me full rye contact. I can’t finish the chili if he doesn’t b
3-way: spaghetti, chili, and shredded cheese.
4-way: 3-way plus either onions or beans.
5-way: 3-way plus onions and beans.
We are going onions and cheese. We added garlic and brown sugar to the onions because we aren’t peasants.
I’ve also started listening to country music. The new kind. I’ve always liked the old stuff. Now I started listening to new country radio and I’m going to force it on Litre. Cola.
I am.so sad its like being in Cinci
The random punctuation is giving me life. I fu.cking love yinz guys@
It is cold, I have a shitty cold, it’s been pissing down rain for over 48 hours, and the cats are climbing the walls.
Come at me bro!!!!
I’d totally forgot about this tune until I heard it two days ago. T’was a watershed moment for young me. It was ostensibly about the Iran hostages at the outset but then showed pics of guys in American prisons. It was sorta about mass incarceration in the US. And it was sung by a dude acting as a news anchor. Mind blown.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPCa1pHpTdA&ab_channel=Clich%C3%A9matic
Sens destroying the Lightning 2-1. Pretty sure all the Red Wings are doing the back stroke in a dumpster with their junk hanging out, ignoring calls from their mothers.
Just so long as the Lightning take care of business in the first round of the playoffs.
Thinking about seeing the total solar eclipse one year from tomorrow. Cities in the totality zone include Dallas, Fort Worth, Indy, Syracuse and Buffalo plus many others.
Maybe Indy? What says the masses?
One time I went to Nova Scotia to see the total eclipse of the sun.
Carly Simon sang about it in that song she wrote about me.
That’s because you’re where you should be all the time, and when you’re not you’re with some underworld spy, or the wife of a close friend.
Wearing my apricot scarf
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.”
-W- Beatty
She got Mick Jagger to sing background vocals, and then told him it wasn’t about him. Cold blooded, Carly!
If I’m not mistaken, she conceded that Nazerth’s cover of this tune was far superior to her own.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylW6sC6NNhY&ab_channel=The70sRocker
Poached some haddock in a feisty tomato broth. Came out well, I think. Being a simple guy, my go-to side is buttered egg noodles and fresh green beans.
Feisty? Like lobster that doesnt want its jacuzzi bath?
Here’s real footage of Woody Allen abusing helpless, defenseless individuals.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLBL-XeNrRI&ab_channel=Movieclips
I’ve been a registered voter since I was 20. I recently got my first ever jury summons. I just called, my group is on “standby,” and apparently all I have to do is call in every evening this week after 7pm. Here’s to another 42 years of avoiding my civic duty!
I was initially pissed when I was first asked to do jury duty but then I thought, “this is the very least I can do that is imposed upon me* to contribute to society aside from voting?”
*I’m good with taxes, she’s pays for a ton of stuff
I wouldn’t mind a good juicy trial, but I know I’d get something boring.
Ya gotta believe in yourself-You’re gonna get a triple homicide!
My first jury case was murder 1 with special circumstances. I was the foreman. It was incredibly intense. Lasted over a month.
Wow. Overachiever.
Top Tip:
If you want to avoid going, stay up and don’t call in until sometime between 10 and 11.
Trust me.
Tell em you love acid.. honestly it is how I got out of it.
I do love acid!
or, as Darren Sharper calls them, state’s witnesses.
“Great phrase.”
-B. Cosby
Turns out, golf is just about as boring to watch as it ever was.
Always perfect for nap time on the couch.
Of all the Bud Light memes out there, and man are there many, this one just hits me on every level.
Found a Harmon Killebrew card on ebay but it has him in a Washington Nationals uniform, so we know it must be fake
I had to look that up when we found the cards.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washington_Senators_(1901%E2%80%931960)
Turns out they were officially called The Nationals for about 50 years, but ‘Nationals’ was only on their uniform for two of those, and most people called them the Senators anyway.
As Peter King might say, weird.
Rooting for Southampton and I feel like a need a bleach bath, heavy on the chlorine.
That team isnt real.
Isn’t real good, that’s for sure.
Please tell me ESPN is covering the Wrexham v Notts County match Monday at 10:00 A.M. EST. As of right now it doesn’t say.
Wouldn’t surprise me. Wrexham just took a bad loss yesterday.
Does not show up on ESPN+ schedule
No, but you can stream it. I will be at work, so I’ll just be listening on Wrexham Player.
The Harmon Killebrews were valued at $150 for the set, retail, $80-$100 to take them off my hands. I kept them.
No argument on two of them, you can see the defects in them without any training. The other one I think they were lowballing me a little because when I was leaving there was a suggestion that the good one might bring $500 at auction but they couldn’t guarantee anything. Still kept it, but more in line with what I thought I was dealing with.
Any big Harmon Killebrew fans out there?
All the Harmon Killebrew fans I know died in Korea; good luck!
Dying of sexual exhaustion in Korea sounds like a pretty good way to go, if you ask…wait, what’s that? You say they died in a *war*? Damn. No, that sounds horrible.
‘Ahem’. They died in a police action, Rikki.
Are you allowed to sell stuff like that on eBay? Would be interesting to see what kind of bids would come in.
You can, yes. We have friends who do a lot of that, to the point that it’s almost a full-time job. Not a bad idea; I could have him do it and give them a cut if they sell.
On a related note, do any of you need Tiffany lamps?
Absolutely. I’m a huge fan.
Thanks for ruining my hilarious, “I think you’re alone now” joke.
I’m sorry. That joke Could’ve Been so great.
My word! These Robins Hood are going down faster than Debbie did when she and her squad mates discovered Dallas in 1978! Let us hope that the King’s Finest poach Brennan Johnson during the summer transfer window so that he may live out his dream of riding the bench on a Shempions League side!
One of the few things I boldly got right – in preseason I picked the Cherries to survive, but not the Robins Hood.
Everyone picked the Whites to go down too.
Me thinks it will be Southampton, Leicester and Robin Hoods.
NOT HIPPO. I had Everton, Robins Hood…and I forgets #3??
I am so over it this year. Fuck VAR, fuck the FA, fucking burn it to the ground.
Everyone picked the Whites to go down!?!? NEVER!!!!
Burnley will not replace us!! Burnley will not replace us!!!
You chose wisely.
Missed the 1st half as Pacific time sucks for futbol. The day will start with coffee and doUghnuts and will end in moonshine and Skyline Chili.
Good idea to build a bread layer in yer gut, sounds like will need it.
We will have beer and pizza first. The Mrs is happy I am staying at BC Dicks after what we are going to do to our bodies.
He buys good terlet paper, one hopes?
also, recall “beer then liquor, never been sicker” – violating that rule bought Freshman Hippo a 6-month stint on the wagon
Future litre will have to deal with that problem.
Other Hippo approves of you developing a split personality
Moonshine and Skyline.
I don’t know whether to write a song or run in terror.
Are you going the full 5 way?
We are doing whatever the can says. Cheese and onions for sure.
You have to respect how Alex Morgan, even in her 30s, has remained the hottest American footballer.
Respectfully, of course.
hey, any of us looked like that, we’d be “Mean Girls” too
Cryogenic therapists know that Antonio Brown was once the coldest American footballer. He went into that cryogenic chamber with both feet and lived to tell the tale!
Holy shit did my father pick the wrong year to start following the Premier League as a Chelsea fan.
But the PERFECT year for his Gooner progeny to mock him!
Someone in the clubhouse warned you. (Its coming from in the same neighboUrhood)
Oh, I warned my father right away. I think my text response when he said he’d decided to follow Chelsea was “fuck off”
I’m off to take my three Harmon Killebrew rookie cards, (that fell out of the ceiling during the kitchen renovation), to get priced. I play poker with the guy that owns the auction house where I’m meeting the card guy, so I’ll get a fair evaluation.
Will this be the kind of thing you see on ‘Antiques Roadshow’, where Grandma’s old painting turns out to be an original Picasso, because it turns out Grandma was banging ol’ Pablo? Or will it turn out that I have three pieces of cardboard worth the equivalent of a chocolate milk shake?
Tune in later to find out!
“Kill-a-Brew? Don’t mind if I do!” – Steve Keim, chuckling to himself as he finishes off a cold one at 7:26 a.m., local time
-Two-liter of Coke Zero and an open bag of Kettle Chips is the best I can do.
-Jalapeño?
-Heh. For a Honus Wagner maybe!
When my Dad passed away 13 years ago he had a bunch of cards. Boxes, sets, but few rare ones as we found out. We were told that is a fickle market, depends a lot on the economy, people’s disposable income. Good luck I hope you score a good deal.
I have a box of my dad’s cards in the garage (he’s still very much thriving; just didn’t want to deal with them). I expect they are worth next to nothing but I don’t have the heart to just throw them out.
How crappy condition are they?
The Killebrews are in surprisingly good shape for having spent 60 years between ceiling of the first floor and the floors of the second floor. But they are by no means mint condition, where the actual money is.
We found a bunch of other cards that were not as fortunate. Look like the mice were collecting several of them. Some real no names, too.
I’m surprised that there isn’t a card collector in these here parts
I was as a kid. Such an elaborate filing system.
Ice Muthafuckin T puts Rum Ham in front
This covers 57% of my Nightmare Spectrum
inconsistent fonts /shudders
The “all lowercase” nomenclature favoUred by many younger indie musician types does my head in.
I blame E. E. CUMMINGS1!1!
I knew Drew Magary stole his idea for “The Hike” from somewhere!
CRAAAAAB PEOPLE, CRAAAAAB PEOPLE.
GAMBLOR! Alert: Fulham (+190) is a HOME UNDERDOG to West Ham (+165) today, and I’m fucked if I can figure out why. Sure, Moyes is on the chopping block, but he was on the same block Wednesday and this is how they played:https://youtu.be/GH1WGarB5g0
I don’t want to lose anyone money, but this one is really jumping out to me. Good luck!
Mitrovic out makes Hippo think Draw
Yeah, see? That’s why it was just a heads up. Look at THAT crap goal! I’ll take it this season, though.
Ten Hag? What, all my ex wives are coaching a soccer team now? Heyoo
Yes, but since there aren’t 11, one has already received a red card.
Your reminder that Seamus Coleman has been cooked for at least three years now. But hurr durr, PROVEN VETERAN.
So Easter bit me in the ass this year.
Last weekend my wife and I bought a few trees to plant, and this jumped out of the base.
So we now have a pet bunny to go along with three dogs (including the one that jumped in our car from the Target parking lot).
Dr. Mrs. LLL had to hand feed this thing for a week before it would eat veggies, and so now we have to go to farms to get the right watercress for it (according to the wife).
I can’t win for losing. So, in today’s match up:
Life 2, LLL 0. Life is just now playing possession to keep the ball away and run the clock.
Like I’ve always said: young ones should get smacked.
As a macro policy, I approve.
“Everyone should get smack!” – Ryan Leaf
And Lawrence Taylor
So should we prebook tickets to the LLL zoo, or is there plenty of room for us all?
Good on you for taking in these animals.
We have bunnies, so when it does start eating hay, get/use a shop vac for cleaning up the hay. It will clog up normal ones.
And one of my buddies is like you with animals. He’s on a strict “don’t bring anything home without talking about it with his wife” rule.
You all are welcome. The zoo will be open to all DFOers. Steaks, bourbons and lots of animals to hang out with.
Thanks for the hay tip. I bet I would not have considered that and I would have royally forked up my normal vacuum.
At least this one will be delicious in a few months
Hasenpfeffer here we come!
My cat has suggested a solution to your problem, but I don’t think you’re going to like it.
Who runs the dfo twitter? Response is some version of: “They’re shopping for a VP they plan on hanging.”
https://twitter.com/DameScorpio/status/1644673110543613952
It would be high comedy to start a counter to track how many times Trump cronies mistook this possible running mate VP for “cleaning help.”
She looks like someone whose body had been auctioned off to the rich white folks in Get Out.
I completely stopped posting anything to our twitter account as soon as Space Karen reinstated Trump’s account.
ten Hag apparently took a massive shit at halftime. Or he had a wank over 2.61 xG in 45′ of footy
Napoli got back to their winning ways last night. 19 points up with 8 to play. Sitting pretty just like Marika.
I never get tired of seeing Balloon Girl.
I can’t help but worry about her lower back. That’s how you know I am an old.
I wish they would put her back on national TV. She was a hoot. But I guess she was too much, even by Italian rating standards which make the French look like the Hallmark channel.