Hello everybody! Welcome back to Sunday Gravy.

Damn glad to see you!

Today’s Sunday Gravy may be a bit of a misnomer since this time we are not even going to enter the general vicinity of gravy.

Got something entirely different, very easy to make – AND even easier to fuck up! – and best yet by request!

Homemade roasted nuts!

I’m a daily consumer of the mixed nut/peanut variety, particularly during the week when I am otherwise protein-less. They’re always satisfying, crunchy, salty and a fantastic accompaniment to any adult beverage. Plus they’re damn good for you in moderation and with a reduction in sodium preferred.

Several months ago when we met one of our newest contributors, Alex Demote, he arrived in the clubhouse and mentioned that he had gone through some previous episodes of Sunday Gravy and he had some very kind things to say. I mentioned to him at the time that I also took recipe requests.

After taking some time to process this, his response was “I think it would be really cool if you roasted and flavored your own pistachios or other nuts.”

See? That’s a damn fine idea right there! I haven’t done this before and it’s a super versatile concept that I’m sure most of you would really appreciate.

I mean who the fuck doesn’t love a good roasted nut mix or roasted peanuts?

It’s a goddamn sports staple for sure.

Every. Single. Time I go to a baseball game I am guaranteed to buy a bag of salted/roasted peanuts in the shell.

They are fucking delicious, cheap, filling and boy howdy do they help the beers go down easy.

Get your ass some beers handy right damn now because away we go

Since we’re pretty fucking far from holiday season, finding raw nuts at your basic grocery store isn’t that goddamn easy.

I procured our test products today from none other than “Nuts.com.” Here is test victim number 1.

Mixed nuts today and look at that goddamn assortment! Almonds, cashews, macadamias, pecans, Brazil nuts, walnuts, hazelnuts and filberts. That’s almost all of the nut kingdom!

Spicy Oven roasted mixed nuts!

recipe courtesy healthyrecipesblogs.com

“4 cups raw nuts (about 16 oz total)

2 tablespoons olive oil

½ teaspoon sea salt

½ teaspoon garlic powder

½ teaspoon smoked paprika

½ teaspoon chili powder

¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper or to taste”

Preheat your oven to 300 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

Next we create the spicy seasoning blend.

I added some additional cayenne because that’s the way I roll.

Place your various nut varieties into a bowl.

See, they’re pretty sexy looking raw. The colors and textures and whatnot.

We’re going to give them a good tossing with some extra virgin olive oil. Use the good shit, this will be part of the flavor profile.

Using a rubber spatula give the nuts a good toss to fully coat with the seasoning blend.

There! Those look nicely coated with spice.

Place in a single layer on the baking sheet and roast away! These will go between 20-30 minutes depending on your oven. Give the pan a turn about halfway through the cooking time.

This is the tricky part here, the done-ness. You don’t want them too raw and you don’t want to over roast them. Think coffee beans and their flavor based on the amount of roasting applied.

You’ll smell the FUCK out of these when they roast and it’s goddamn amazing. 

After you’ve consumed multiple handfuls be sure to store them properly in an airtight container.

Here’s another look at the finished product.

It’s a full fledged cornucopia of nuts!

You can tell from looking at the pecans in the lower right corner that these were a tad over-roasted. Shit man, first try! Plus my oven has been an asshole lately and could probably use a new thermostat but as of yet no response from the landlord. Time to text his ass again.

I think I liked the pistachios most of all but the cashews were banging too. Overall a quality product that could use some additional tweaking.

Quick reader survey: When you reach the bottom of a can of mixed nuts what is the predominate remaining nut?

I’ll wait…

If you said Brazil nuts, then you trend just like my household. I like Brazil nuts just fine. Like a big macadamia or some shit. Not everyone is a fan though.

Don’t worry, before all is said and done over these next couple of weeks, we’re gonna show you how to utilize Brazil nuts properly. Promise.

For our second roasted nut test subject I went to a personal favorite.

Shelled Virginia peanuts! Love these things. I forget where I got them, I think it was a Christmas gift food package, anyway there was a small can of extra large Virginia peanuts and holy hot fucking damn were they awesome. This was my attempt to duplicate that exact product.

We’ll keep it simple with no oil added and only salt as a seasoning.

Prepare to roast.

This time it was a 350 degree oven for 24 minutes. Twelve minutes into the cooking process shake the pan and return to oven, twelve more minutes and you’re done.

After roasting give them a very liberal dousing of salt.

There we are! Look at the bottom right of the photo again. Seeing a trend?

Goddamn fucking stove.

Once cooled, place the nuts in a handy bowl for service.

As you can see, some of these were goddamn perfect and a couple went “over” the doneness mark. These also smelled fucking incredible when roasting. With the different levels of roasting there are many different flavor notes in play. A rich nutty note, a deep buttery peanut note and an almost “roasted coffee” flavor were all represented here.

Very cool.

However; I just could not get the salt to stick to the peanuts properly. After eating there was a big ass spoonful of salt at the bottom of that bowl. They were great and all just not salty enough for me.

And now for the real adventure.

We will attempt to roast salted peanuts in the shell.

Keep your fingers crossed. Shit’s about to get weird.

After the roasted Virginia peanuts escapade my brain was determined to get these next peanuts salty.

Tons of goddamn research and recipe browsing ensued but I settled on a recipe from Food.com.

I decided to try the shelled peanuts two ways. Here is the first version.

Once again we go back to the Nuts.com well for the raw ingredients.

Yep we’re going to give them a brine. That recipe link will tell you to add a full cup of salt to a pot of water. Sounding like a lot of motherfucking salt the half cup option was agreed upon.

Here are our victims in their raw nascent state.

Get them little goobers into a pot, a fully goddamn salinated pot. That crazy ass recipe up there said to cook these on a very low simmer for… FIVE FUCKING HOURS!

Ok? If you say so.

It was after a few hours into the long, slow simmer we discovered an important step was missed…

It’s really important to wash these prior to low boiling them. That’s a goddamn mud spa right there. Fuck it. Too late to change course.

We sail on full speed ahead!

Finally after the fucking eternity of simmering we give them a drain in a colander.

According to that whack-ass recipe up there, after draining you will lay the peanuts on a drying rack for, ready for it?

Three goddamn days!

Which, if all goes right, should turn them from the unappetizing dark brown color seen above, to a more palatable and familiar color of a basic peanut.

Hell, they look right.

The peanuts are roasted in a 350 degree oven for 30 minutes or so according to that recipe.

Here they are after thirty minutes of roasting.

Have you ever eaten boiled peanuts? I swear they’re a real thing. The Filipinos love them. For me I find them a little wet and the soggy texture is a bit unappealing to my palate.

The reason I bring this up?

These were goddamn boiled peanuts. The salt profile was PERFECT but the nuts themselves were soggy as shit.

The nuts didn’t crack right, they stuck to their skins inside the shell. Hell yes I ate a handful but it was NOT what I set out to make.

SO?

Roast ’em again!

Another 30 minutes in a 350 degree oven while shaking the pan a few times.

Better. Still not quite there. They cracked better and were closer to what we’re used to but nope. This ain’t it.

Five goddamn hours in a brine?

The FUCK. You know what, if it was middle of summer with windows open maybe these fuckers dry out in 3 days. But it wasn’t. It was cold and rainy as shit when we did this so take that with an (additional) grain of salt.

Undeterred and still possessing half a bag of the raw peanuts in the shell I vowed I would give them one final try.

Part IV.

Promising myself we would get this shit right, I went straight to the oracle.

Alton Fucking Brown of the Food Network.

While some of his recipes can be a bit unusual and the preparation a bit out in left field, I still trust his recipes and he’s usually the first source I seek out when trying a new recipe. Plus this one was pretty straightforward.

Also I’m a chronic fanboy of his. Still watch Good Eats all the damn time.

Quick rinse of the peanuts this time just to remove the dirt and shit.

Wipe the nuts down or let them dry for a few minutes. Five fucking hour brine my hairy ass!

Once again we line the baking sheet with parchment paper.

This time we’re going to toss the legumes with a tablespoon of peanut oil and a tablespoon of salt. Coating them as best as you can.

Then into a 350 degree oven for 30 minutes, giving the pan a solid shake at the 15 minute mark.

Finally…

Welp, they LOOK right.

Let’s give them a try.

These were fucking delicious!

Eh, maybe could have used a bit more salt but the texture and roast and crispness were finally perfect.

I ate the fuck out of these with nary a survivor to be found.

Success!

Four weeks in a row there was nut roasting going on in the right house with decidedly mixed results but all told I had a goddamn blast making these. Fun for the whole family.

Now about those Brazil nuts I mentioned up there. I found a use for the Brazil nuts that turned out to be fantastic!

We will even feature that bonus recipe on next week’s version of Sunday Gravy!

A Part 2 if you will!

How very, very fucking exciting!

Shit Damn!

And there you go.

Thanks for the inspiration Alex, it’s appreciated.

Hope you all have a wonderful rest of your Sunday. Enjoy the Masters or do the Easter thing or whatever makes you happy.

I appreciate you good folks. Truly.

Let’s get together again next week, a’ight?

See you then.

PEACE!