And So It Begins! Footy Renewed

We kicked off the Premier League under Boo-urnley’s Friday Night Lights.  What is the bestest reality check for the confident champions of the Championship?

Oh yeah, a goal from Erling Haaland like 3 minutes into play.  To their credit, the Clarets hung in, playing evenly for the next 30 or so minutes.  Kevin the Broom left injured, and one started to wonder if sommet was brewing.

Then City of Men got a 2nd, which ended all hope.  They added on a 3rd late, then the cherry on the shit sundae – a deserved red card.  OOF.  August might be a tad rough for the White Lives Matter crew.

Fortunately for the viewer, we get a shit ton more action!  Most of it be on Peacock, though.  So don’t be cheap.

Arsenal host even MOAR turbulent than normal Robins Hood, to start Saturday off (7:30, Peacock).  We’ll probably be perfect 2-for-2 in arse kickings after that mercifully ends.

Next up, a 4-pack for the 10 am window, annoyingly all on Peacock.  Litre and I must watch Mighty Whitey’s visit to Goodison Park, but y’all may want to opt for sommet a little less eye-bleedy.  Spunky Luton Town away to Trashbirds seems a good bet, or even yeah right’s Cherries home to Fronk’s Retirement Home Hammers.  Shit, even watch Team Knifey at home, back in the big leagues!  Try to forget they’s playing Uncle Woy’s Palace, though.  Ick.

Our first spotlight shines on last season’s happy surprise (Unai Emergy’s resurgent Villa) against the new universal enemy (Bonesaws FC).  This is your usual 12:30 big NBC kickoff, so the Peacock suits won’t squeeze your bollocks completely dry.

Back to Peacock for Sunday Funday, though.  Praise Beesus host new-look Spurs (9:00), followed by Under-New-Management Chelski hosting the German Elton John and his arsehole band (11:30).  Two intriguing matchups, even despite all the late window evil.

Monday Night is back on USA (3:00), but it’s just Men Untied kicking the shit out of Big Lots varietal Wolves.  Holy shit, have they ever had a wretched summer.  The manager watched the talent drain, got to spend none of the resultant funds, and said ‘adios’ like 96 hours before the season started.  Fucking ouch.  The Red Devils have bought and sold well, in my estimation.  Who knows if they’ll get off to a flyer, though.  Always hard to tell.  But they surely take all 3 points here.

Lots of NFL scrimmage fun today, too.  Don’t be going outside or anything cray-cray like that.