Your “Luckily, The Car Was Okay” Monday Evening Open Thread

(Not the actual car) NFL News: Josh Gordon has signed his exclusive rights tender with the Browns. Good thing - 4/20 is this Friday. Bad thing - Because of all the suspensions, he only has credit for four seasons. He becomes a Restricted Free Agent in 2019, and a UFA in

Your “Golf Leafs Golf” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Stealing from Crimebeat! 49ers linebacker Reuben Foster has been officially charged with one felony for domestic violence with aggravated bodily harm, another felony for forcefully attempting to prevent the victim from reporting the crime, and a third felony for possessing an assault weapon. Foster is also charged with a

Your “PLAYOFFS – WOO!!!!!!!!!!!” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Citing "health issues", Richie Incognito has decided to retire. "I'm done, I'm done, that's it," Incognito told The Buffalo News. "It's been a long career. My liver and kidneys are shutting down. Nothing I can't restore with some balance, but the stress is killing me. Shady has feelings

Your “What’s Old Is New Again, Again” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Notes: RGIII is back, baby! A one-year deal with the Ravens. The best comment on Deadspin was that the Ravens signed him because he can't bend his knees to take one. On the other end of the redemption spectrum, JFF says it's the Browns fault he turned out to

Your “The Cross You Bear Is Only The Beginning” Easter Sunday Evening Open Thread If all went well this weekend, I am currently driving home from Seattle. If it didn't, I'm eating chicken fingers in my fat pants & watching the Star Wars marathon on Showcase. Speaking of fat pants, the banner pic is from the Sweet Jeϟus Ice Cream Shoppe in Toronto. They have a

Your “At Least The 2019 Offseason Won’t Be As Bleak” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Morgan Burnett is leaving the Packers for the Steelers. Just another hole to fill in while wasting Clay Matthews' prime. Ryan Grant, he of the non-elite ankle, has signed with the Colts. It's not the four-year $29 million deal the Ravens offered, but a one-year $5 million "let's

Your “Looks Like You Won’t Have Beerguyrob To Kick Around For A While” Monday Evening Open Thread

Because, dear Commentists, this is my last Open Thread before we yield the week to the esteemed King Hippo for all things Madness. Editor’s note: This is to remind you of DFO’s Bracket Challenge! DFO Bracket Challenge Group Name:  DFO Brackets Password:  Dickjoke Link: Allow me to share with you the "how to join" tutorial put

Roger Goodell’s Reported Time of 5.41s in the 40 Yard Dash is a Disgraceful Lie

Like many people who were fairly fast runners in their youth, I thought I'd be capable of running the forty yard dash in less than five seconds.  Sure, there's plenty of NFL-caliber players in the NFL who can't, but most of those are offensive linemen and run-stuffing nose tackles.  But

Your “All Good Things…” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Unexpectedly, Jerry Jones has given up & will repay the NFL the $2.0 million they say he cost them fighting Zeke's suspension. Can we now officially call Jerry Jones a "quitter"? Somewhere behind a closed door at 345 Park Avenue, Roger Goodell kicked a small puppy & cheered

Your Tag Deadline Day Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Franchise tags: Today at 4:00ET was the deadline for applying a franchise tag to a current player under negotiations. The list: Franchise tagged: Le'Veon Bell (Steelers) Lamarcus Joyner (Rams) Jarvis Landry (Dolphins) Ziggy Ansah (Lions) DeMarcus Lawrence (Cowboys) Transition tagged: ($2 million less) Kyle Fuller (Bears) meaning he can

Your “Nobody Owes Nobody Nothing” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Eagles punter Donnie Jones has decided to retire. Makes sense when you consider he's a 14-year vet, has played 208 consecutive games, and only punted once during the Eagles Super Bowl win. Jags DB Jalen Ramsey is mad at Texas A&M & Jimbo Fisher for including him in

Your “Umm…So, How Was Your Day?” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: This was dumped late-Friday like so-much bad news, but the Jags have locked up Blake Bortles for three more years. Three years at $54 million, with $26 million of that guaranteed. He will make $20 million this year. He could make a maximum of $66.5 million with all incentives