Guest Post : Mrs. Cola “Happy Nutrition Month”

Since March is Nutrition Month, I thought we’d look at a few key players in the lovely world of health and wellness influencers. As a Registered Dietitian, a large portion of my job has been trying to prove to patients that whatever they heard on Dr. Oz or Goop or random internet blog about the food/supplement/shake that will magically cure them is, in fact, not fucking true. Of course, the usual response is for these patients to send me article abstracts because I can’t possibly understand the research because no one apparently knows what a dietitian is or does. Of course, they don’t actually read the study and usually the actual content of the study is not reflective of the point they are trying to make. I guess people assume that dietitians are the only profession in health care that doesn’t have an education?????

 And yes, the word dietitian does not have a “c” in it. And that’s not just Canadian. “Tits not tics” is the phrase we like to use ☺

Related to being a Canadian, despite the fact that I work in a publicly funded health care system, apparently “Big Food” controls me and I MUST teach everyone the food guide even though that could not be further from the truth. Yeah, I do know the secret to curing cancer with acai berries, but I’m not going to tell you because I would rather everyone dies from cancer so I can keep getting paid. The common reason people go into healthcare. 

One of the main issues with the nutrition field is that while the term Registered Dietitian is a protected term and can only be used by professionals who have completed their degree and accredited internship, the term “nutritionist” is not protected in most places. A few years ago in Alberta, the regulatory college was successful in making the term “nutritionist” protected as well. This makes dietitians feel better, but the general public continue to use the terms dietitian and nutritionist interchangeably despite the fact that, in most places, anyone can call themselves a nutritionist. Or, in typical influencer fashion, they don’t even call themselves a nutritionist because they have PERSONAL EXPERIENCE and we all know that N=1 is totally scientific proof of something. 

First up, The Food Babe. Blech. How do you even try to sexualize this?????? Lovely Vani, the food babe, “I didn’t go to nutrition school. I had to teach myself everything spending thousands of hours researching and talking to experts.” Like I said, personal experience. Draws suckers in every goddamn time. It’s relatable, I get it, but would let someone with diabetes diagnosis you and adjust your insulin just because they happen to have diabetes and did a lot of their own research? I sure as hell hope not. I hope that you would see a trained, certified, and regulated diabetes educator who is legally required to stay up to date on their knowledge so that, even if they don’t personally have diabetes, they know the most up to date and proven ways to keep you alive and aiming for your best health. 

And just to reinforce that the food babe is, in fact, just like you…..cue the before and after photo:

Let food be thy medicine. I’m sure most people expect me to agree with this statement, but you know what? Food isn’t fucking medicine. Food will not cure your disease. Food can help your side effects and maybe manage some of your symptoms, but it will NEVER EVER replace actual medication. 

And if you too would like to fight the evils of the food industry, you can join….the fucking Food Babe Army. Can you imagine if you met someone and they told you they were part of the Food Babe Army???????? Obviously food companies are going to use marketing to make money and sell you your products, but is The Food Babe writing this blog out of the goodness of her heart??? Fuck no. Just look at the menu at the top of her page. It doesn’t say “here are some free resources I put together because I genuinely just want you to be healthy.” No. It says “Books” and “Products” where you can buy a hard copy of her bullshit along with Supplements (of course), Protein Powder (can’t find that anywhere else), her Personal Care products (how did we get to deodorant, toothpaste, and lip conditioner), along with the typical sugar detox and juice cleanse. DO NOT even get me started on the falsity of sugar addiction and fucking detoxes and cleanses. Do you have a liver and kidney? Do they work? Great, you are doing a detox as you read this. Do you pee? Do you poop? Great, you are now cleansed.

Next up, Goop. Rhymes with poop….also known as shit (coincidence????). Goop. The “modern lifestyle brand” where you can buy a rock to shove up your vagina and a candle that smells like it. WTF. There are a lot of layers to Goop, but I’ll try to stick to the food and nutrition aspect. Gwyneth, the face of Goop, loves to make you feel guilty about eating while she exists on booze, cigarettes, and cocaine while employing a personal chef and trainer to keep her looking skeletal. Gwyneth…she’s just like you but better.

To be fair, the recipes look delicious. But I can’t get over the elitist rich white asshole vibe that is screaming from this website. An article that is titled “The BEst Food I Ate Last Year Was At A Wellness Retreat” is sure to apply to the American masses. Ugh. The Good stance on food and nutrition: “We think ingredient sourcing is important: for the planet, for our guts, and because you need fewer things and simpler recipes when the components stand on their own. While many of our recipes are relatively virtuous and free of common allergens, they are still delicious and simple.” 

Why do recipes need to be virtuous? Why can’t they just be simple and nourishing and soulful? Why can’t they include frozen vegetables? Why can’t they be approachable and accessible? The entire problem with nutrition and health is not that no one knows what to eat. It’s that we subsidize highly overprocessed refined food and make it cheapest to eat chips and soda instead of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Poverty is a major factor. Let’s not even consider the massive weight bias and stigma that goes along with this. But Gwenyth is going to make everyone healthier by selling them expensive candles and huha rocks while teaching them to make sourdough bread in their outdoor pizza oven. What better way to achieve ultimate influencer status than by making everyone feel like they can never afford health?

Seen here, Gwyneth just throws together some holiday appetizers. Everyone has some caviar on hand right?

My last one before I get completely enraged is my favourite. Dr. Oz. Because he is a DOCTOR. Has anyone checked what kind of nutrition training doctors get? The ones I’ve worked with tell me it’s a lecture, maybe 2, and they usually skip it because it’s not important. But here we have a cardiovascular surgeon spewing out nutrition and weight loss advice because people trust doctors. Even if they don’t know what the fuck they are talking about. There is a reason doctors refer patients to dietitians. Besides the fact they don’t have the time for nutrition counseling, it’s because they actually don’t have any knowledge or training in nutrition for the most part. But they are doctors so people trust them and assume that they know what the fuck they are talking about. Maybe it’s because they say it so confidently because they think they know what they are talking about. To be fair, I have worked with some amazing doctors who are incredibly intelligent. But a good doctor stays in their lane and refers out to other professionals when they need to. A good doctor knows when their patient needs to see a nurse, a physio, an occupational therapist, or a dietitian. A good doctor knows that each health professional has their area of expertise and uses their teams to provide the best overall care for their patients. Dr. Oz is not one of those doctors. 

The fact that Dr. Oz even has a Diet and Nutrition section on his website is a RED FLAG. Joint pain? Make a smoothie. Stomach cramps? Probably diverticulitis. Do you have COVID? Drink a tart cherry mocktail for your immunity. Evidence-based? 100% not a chance. Of course foods and nutrients have some anti-inflammatory properties, your stomach cramps could be diverticulitis, and tart cherries have vitamin C that is part of your immune system function. But nutrition is not that simple and foods are not just individual nutrients. Everything works together and foods are so much more than the nutrients that they contain. That’s why supplements can treat individual nutrient deficiencies but cannot replicate what eating food provides.

These 3 gems are obviously just the tiniest tip of the giant influencer iceberg. From legit doctors straying outside their lane to naturopaths who have no regulation to the random lady down the street who started a blog to help you avoid the evils of the food industry, the common factor in these health and wellness nutrition influencers is their lack of any actual education in evidence-based nutrition. While the allure of these simple fixes of avoiding or adding in certain foods to cure what ails you, it just piles on the guilt in a population with an already fucked up relationship with food. Because when their diets or whatever doesn’t fix you, you must have done it wrong. Give them more money and they will help you stick with it this time! I get that seeing a dietitian can be frustrating because generally we don’t like to give you a meal plan (that’s not real life) and we don’t offer quick fixes (because they don’t work). It is heartbreaking to have a patient in your office in tears because you can’t offer a magical cure all food. But what a dietitian can offer is an evidence based approach to managing your condition as best you can with food and some support in mending your relationship with food so you don’t feel guilty every time you stray from whatever you think is “healthy.” Dietitians are educated health professionals and we are required to stay current with nutrition research. It’s called being licensed by a regulatory college (in the nutrition field I might add). Fighting all the misinformation and bullshit spewed by influencers and other healthcare providers who don’t know what they are talking about is exhausting. End rant….for now.