[INT. A dark, depressing living room. The curtains are drawn. TAWMMY FROM QUINZEE lies facedown, forlornly, on a couch. The overwhelming stench of Sam Adams, cigarette smoke, and despair lingers all around him. He moans, then, with his face muffled by a pillow, begins to sing.] This is thah end, beautiful
Tag: new england patriots
No Exit: Your 2023 New England Patriots Season Preview
SCENE: A locker room in retro Foxboro Stadium style. A massive, oversized, but dinged up Lombardi Trophy stands alone in a dusty display case. ROBERT KRAFT [enters, accompanied by the LOCKER ROOM ATTENDANT, and glances around him]: Hm! So here we are? LOCKER ROOM ATTENDANT: Yes, Mr. Kraft. KRAFT: And this is what
Comfortably Numb: Your 2022 New England Patriots Season Preview
[INT. A psychiatrist's office. It's dark, quiet, and soothing, in a sterile sort of way.] [Slow pan to DOCTOR SIGMUND FREUD, who perches in his armchair, quietly contemplating the next question he'll ask his patient.] FREUD: Pleeze, Herr Thomas. Kontinue. I beleef you ver zaying somezing about ... inner pain, ja? [TAWMMY reclines
The Maestro Goes To A Meeting (Your Tuesday Night Open Thread)
So Long, Tom: Your Tuesday Night Open Thread
It's finally official. In light of the leaks, nobody's really that surprised this time around. Tom Brady is now officially retired from the National Football League. He entered as an unknown sixth-round draft pick, and left as the greatest player in the history of the sport. While it's true that I am
Bye Week Update: New England Patriots
Return of the Prodigal Son: Your 2021 New England Patriots Preview
[EXT. CATHEDRAL OF THE HOLY CROSS, BOSTON.] [Cut to INT. The archbishop, Sean Patrick Cardinal O’MALLEY, stands at the pulpit, calmly delivering Sunday Mass to a full crowd.] O’MALLEY: I wish to call upon one of our own flock to deliver the next reading for today’s Mass. [A loud belch echoes through the
Waiting For Football: Your 2020 New England Patriots Season Preview
A football stadium. A goalpost. Evening. (SULLY, sitting on a sideline, is trying to take off his shoe. He pulls at it with both hands, panting. He gives up, exhausted, rests, tries again. As before. Enter TAWMMY.) SULLY: (Giving up again) Nothin’ tah be done. TAWMMY: (Advancing with short, stiff strides, legs
Bye Week Update: New England Patriots
Bye Week Update: New England Patriots
The Patses are 7-3! Really goods, we is! Only two games up on the rest of the division, oh nos! We'll wins it again anyways! Lost to nasty Lionses, and Jagses and Titanses! Just barely beat the Bearses, it dids! We beats the Chiefses and Packers! The defence, especially the pass rush, is getting ruineds! Undefeated
#QBANON: Your 2018 New England Patriots Preview
[EXT. - NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS TRAINING CAMP.] [The sun is shining over Gillette Stadium. No clouds are in the sky, and the stadium is beautiful.] [CUT to INT. - A dark, candlelit dungeon. A tall, hooded figure sits alone at a rough-hewn wooden table, with stacks of ancient, leather-bound volumes piled high.
