Renton, WA. Monday, October 16, 10:00AM.
Inside Seahawks team HQ on Lake Washington, a Seahawks coaches meeting is taking place.
Pete Carroll: Okay boys. Now, before we get started, I'm going to give everyone a minute to get it out of their system before I put this-here jar on the table and officially
Whether it be Thanksguiving, Columbus Day, or Indigenous Peoples Day, happy holiday Monday to you all.
And if you didn't have a holiday today, maybe move to a better state or country.
There's no NFL News update because I may or may not have typed this last Thursday, right before I picked
Kam Chancellor agreed to a three-year extension. Three years, $36 million - with $25 million guaranteed.
Look forward to Seattle in 2017 having a great defence, and Russell Wilson having to run for his life because they can only afford tackling dummies on the O-line.
Injuries have forced
Ext. The Seahawks draft room, Renton, WA.
Previously: John Schneider and Pete Carroll are arguing over TV channels when John Schneider decides he's had enough and makes a surprising phone call....
A frightened intern hands John Schneider a telephone while Pete Carroll retreats to speak with the head of security.
Pete Carroll: (whispering
Looking to prevent him developing an itch to scratch, Alabama put academics to the fore and gave Nick Saban an extension through 2024, raising the amount they're paying him to $65 million over the life of the deal.
That includes a $4 million signing bonus for 2017, taking his
Ext. The Seahawks "war room" in Renton, WA.
It is draft night, April 27, 2017. Pete Carroll stands over a table full of papers, while John Schneider frantically tries to work a TV remote.
John Schneider: Pete, the channel seems to be stuck on ESPN.
Pete Carroll: Yup. I took the batteries out of
Ext. Two men sit on the sills of their car, taking in the Utah view and contemplating the directions their lives are going in.
John Schneider: Pete?
Pete Carroll: Yes, John?
JS: How many more places do we have to visit?
PC: Just this one, John. The draft is next week, so I just
Ext. Dane County Regional Airport, Madison WI.
Pete Carroll & John Schneider have just landed after a regional airline flight from Chicago.
John Schneider: Dammit Pete, why do we have to keep taking these regional airlines? They never have a proper beverage cart.
Pete Carroll: John, as we've discussed, very few state schools
Int. Buffalo Wild Wings, Wichita, KS, 9:30 pm.
Patrons stare at the screen, in disbelief or joy at what they had just witnessed.
Under the table Winston's feet made convulsive movements. He had not stirred from his seat, but in his mind he was running, swiftly running, he was with the crowds
So, the Patriots & Tom Brady have a chance to win their fifth Super Bowl. Let's check in with North America for their reaction:
How the fuck did that get in there? Well, there's always one or two in a crowd.
Back to business. People, do you want the Patriots to win?
So, it's time to talk about the Demon King.
Sorry. I meant Roger Goodell, not the monster that occupies his soul.
I decided to save the League's shittiest shitweasel for tonight, because I wanted to attempt a special FJM/KSK-style takedown to his "State of the League" 45-minute address from Wednesday night, using what
I was tempted to just type, "I HATE THE FUCKING PATRIOTS! forty times to just get to 200 words. But I forced myself to look at why, exactly, I hate the Patriots so, so much. So I tried to remember their history. Please forgive the length of the journey.