EXTERIOR – CHARGERS PRACTICE FACILITY, COSTA MESA, CA – MIDDAY
[CALEB STURGIS walks alone to his car following Monday's walk-through. He seems a bit forlorn, yet still has the semblance of an optimistic smile on face. As he is a few feet from his car, another vehicle rolls up]
[CAR DOOR FLIES
INTERIOR – ST. CATHEDRAL, LOS ANGELES – MIDDAY
[A massive group of formal, yet lavishly dressed people fill the pews of the church. The room is so packed with bodies that there is a constant murmur that drowns out the few notes of the organ just audible above the buzz. DEAN
♫ Set to the music of “The Number of the Beast” from Iron Maiden ♫
GHOST OF JUNIOR SEAU:
Woe to you, oh Span-oiiii,
for the deal you made sends the beast with wrath,
Because he knows the time is nigh...
Let him who hath electric dance moves reckon the sound of the beast
FACKIN' STEVE PEAHCE AND DAVID PRICE! THIS IS OW-AH FACKIN' YEAHH! NEVAH HAS THEAH BEEN SUCH A FACKIN' INCREDIBLE TEAM. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO[spits dip]OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
It's a burden, being right all the time.
I know, I know- I hear you virtually saying "But Mayhem, how could being right all the time be anything but wonderful? You win all the arguments, you hit the stock market like it was Tyreek Hill's baby momma,* and women fall over each
So the Roadrunner's a dick, right?
Wile E. Coyote has some issues of his own, no argument. The ancient Greeks wish they had come up with a hubris myth as simple and powerful as Wile opening an ACME box.
But the Roadrunner is the real villain of the series. Weird Al Yankovic
"So maybe there's hope. Or maybe I'm going mad... In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upward mobile — and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: Not necessarily to Win, but mainly to keep from Losing Completely." -Hunter S. Thompson, The Great
INTERIOR - ST. SOPHIA CATHEDRAL, LOS ANGELES - MIDDAY
[A decent group of formal, yet lavishly dressed people sit in the pews as the funeral for Faye Spanos is about to get underway. However, due to the vast size of the church, the audience seems dwarfed by comparison. The organ softly
Twenty years ago I bought my PSL for the Ravens. After i wrote the check I had $100 in my bank account, but having been brought up on football, and starving for the same, I was all in.
This year I didn’t renew my tickets because I’m sick and motherfucking tired
INT. 666 FIFTH AVENUE — DAYTIME
Two men sit side by side at a table in a small room. The older man confidently watches the closed-captioned television without expression. Though both are sitting, it is clear that the older man towers over the younger in every discernable way. The younger man,
Sorry for the late postings, I forgot.
But glad tidings, my imaginary friends, for Fat Sam a/k/a Gravy Tits a/k/a That Hippo Head Fuck/Cunt a/k/a The Gravy Boat has been formally sacked. Hippo can wear his Everton hat again! And with PSV Eindhoven's Marcel Brands already taking the reins as the new Director
INT. FOX SPORTS STUDIOS -- WESTWOOD, CA
A producer mimes a countdown from five and, when reaching one, points a finger to the FS1 personality standing in front of a green screen.
Erin Andrews: And, finally, in news related to the perpetual carousel that is NFL coaching hires, New England Patriots Offensive Coordinator