The Detroit Lions, a team in the NFC North, are currently 5 - 4 and are in first place by virtue of a win last week over the suddenly super-shitty Vikings. Because I am not a Lions fan and haven't watched any of their games this year, I did some research*
INT. MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT
In a modern and tasteful master bedroom, a suburban couple lays comfortably in bed. The wife - JESSICA McCLOUGHAN - is watching How to Get Away With Murder on a large television set mounted to the wall, while the husband - SCOT McCLOUGHAN - is fiddling
The Bills are 4-5 at the bye week.
That's your update.
Normally, I would give a pseudo-humorous recap of the ups and down of the season so far, filled with hilarious swear words and celebrating the pleasure-pain that is the Buffalo Fan Experience.
There would be some mention of the many injuries sustained (notably the
Los Osos de Chicago entered their week 9 bye week with a DAZZLING record of 2-6, good for last place in the division and an earlier than usual bout of "should they tank the rest of the season or not" debate. Just like last year, this team is TERRIBLE without
The 2016 Arizona Cardinals enter the bye having played eight games, five of them at home. They are sitting at the midpoint of the season with three wins. Still, in a division where 12 wins would have only been a worth a 2015 wildcard birth, Birdcano sits only two games back
The New England Patriots head into their bye week with the best record in the NFL at 7-1. They are better than your favorite team. Their quarterback has an infinitely better life than yours. Their fans remain insufferable as hell. They once drafted a murderer. And despite the sheer annoyingness
And by "special", I do mean "short bus" special.
Let's get this straight right now, I am not a Panthers' fan. So I really don't have a horse in this race. If they never win another game, my only reason to care is that I'll have to hear about it from
What we've witnessed so far for the 2016 Vikings season has been a mix-up of inspirational, tragic, head-scratching, awe-inspiring, ferocious and a lot of goddamn fun.
The Vikings enter their bye week as the last undefeated team in the NFL at 5-0.
First of all, what the fuck is it with these
The Green Bay Packers, a football team in the NFC North, are 2 - 1. They have defeated two bad teams (Jaguars, Lions), and lost to one good team (Vikings). Their offense appears to be rounding into shape, and their bend-but-don't-break defense is the same defense as it has been the
Once in a great while, we sad sacks, we perpetually and correctly pessimistic schlubs, we grown-ass adults who overpay for garish shirts with zoo animals on them...once in a great while we see a glimmer of hope that tells us it might all be worth it.
That's what it's been like
And as we wait for the officials to determine if that handoff to Jennings is ruled a completed catch or not and how that will effect the down, distance, score, and clock timing situation on the field, let's take a look at how the Giants, who bookended their Week 11 bye with
The Lions were possibly the most interesting team on bye in Week 9 but, as the local am sports talk guys would say, it was for all the wrong reasons. Starting 1-7, with Detroit's sole win being an overtime field goal at home against the Bears, coach Jim Caldwell was