2016 Detroit Lions Bye Week Update

  The Detroit Lions, a team in the NFC North, are currently 5 - 4 and are in first place by virtue of a win last week over the suddenly super-shitty Vikings.  Because I am not a Lions fan and haven't watched any of their games this year, I did some research*

This Little Piggy Went 8-8: Your Bills Bye Week Update

The Bills are 4-5 at the bye week. That's your update. Normally, I would give a pseudo-humorous recap of the ups and down of the season so far, filled with hilarious swear words and celebrating the pleasure-pain that is the Buffalo Fan Experience. There would be some mention of the many injuries sustained (notably the

Bye Week Update: New England Patriots

The New England Patriots head into their bye week with the best record in the NFL at 7-1. They are better than your favorite team. Their quarterback has an infinitely better life than yours. Their fans remain insufferable as hell. They once drafted a murderer. And despite the sheer annoyingness

The Carolina Panthers Bye Week Special

And by "special", I do mean "short bus" special. Let's get this straight right now, I am not a Panthers' fan.  So I really don't have a horse in this race.  If they never win another game, my only reason to care is that I'll have to hear about it from

Vikings Bye Week Update: Week 6 and The Living is Easy.

What we've witnessed so far for the 2016 Vikings season has been a mix-up of inspirational, tragic, head-scratching, awe-inspiring, ferocious and a lot of goddamn fun. The Vikings enter their bye week as the last undefeated team in the NFL at 5-0. First of all, what the fuck is it with these

2016 Green Bay Packers Bye Week Update

The Green Bay Packers, a football team in the NFC North, are 2 - 1.   They have defeated two bad teams (Jaguars, Lions), and lost to one good team (Vikings).  Their offense appears to be rounding into shape, and their bend-but-don't-break defense is the same defense as it has been the

2016 Philadelphia Eagles Bye Week Update

Once in a great while, we sad sacks, we perpetually and correctly pessimistic schlubs, we grown-ass adults who overpay for garish shirts with zoo animals on them...once in a great while we see a glimmer of hope that tells us it might all be worth it. That's what it's been like