Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

Life has been super busy for me still, so not much time for an intro and have not been around these parts much.  Hoping it gets better soon, but it’s not really up to me.  Being responsible sucks sometimes.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.


In the Pale Neckfolds

Redshirt


Gumbygirl

Fucking guy puts a Kennedy in his administration and then seems surprised when bullets start whizzing around 24/7.
Horatio Cornblower



Don T


Watching King Charles III arrive at White House and just by looking at their posture and demeanor you can literally see the difference between someone who so desperately wants to look like and so desperately wants to be a king and someone who was raised to be and is a king.

A illustration that you can’t buy and demand class and style.
Redshirt

It’s got to be weird having to interact with a guy who is Eskimo brothers with your own disavowed pedophile brother.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly


The site has now gone down in two straight days when an overtime hockey period starts.

This smells like Bettman’s doing. Fucking asshole.
Mr. Ayo


 


Jimbo




I tried to post this yesterday, this is Gumby’s 1969 3rd place Punt, Pass, and Kick trophy.
Gumbygirl


My son Ben died 16 years ago today[April 29, 2026]. Hug your kids.
Gumbygirl

There aren’t enough words to express my deepest condolences and sympathies. We love you, and we’re always here for you.
WCS


Gumbygirl

This was Ben at 13 or 14. He was smart, funny, and beautiful. I miss him.
Gumbygirl


TIL that ducks quack “coin coin” in France.

Sexxy Rexxy coaster. Needs to be printed with a 0.2mm nozzle, or blown up to dinner plate size.

BugEyedBoo


This weekend is my birthday.

No, no, hold your applause.

I find that my weekend is planned start-to-finish by people who mean well, but do not seem to understand that you can just leave me alone with no responsibilities, a 12-pack of beer, and time to read this 608 page book about Mexico and I’d be perfectly content.

My father shares my birthday, and at 84 he has decided “fuck all ya’ll, I’m going to Provincetown for the weekend”

Being old and retired do have its advantages.
Horatio Cornblower


I’m reading Wolf Hall, so borrowing from a passage I wrote a note to Mrs. scotchy that went something like this-

“As you work your way through your affairs today, I trust that you will show speed, intelligence and rigour-as they are your best attributes. I look forward to unlacing your bodice at a future time yet to be determined.”

/I think I’m going to win her over yet
scotchnaut


deci_litre’s 9th bday tomorrow [May 2]. What does he want to do? Watch Dad squirm among the hard core Arsenal supporters at our local.

litre_cola


Man, between Wrex, West, and Ful, tough day for hams.
SonOfSpam

“What you have to do is salt that raw ham and be generous about it. She’s a big girl that can take it. Leave it uncovered in the fridge for one day at least, but massage her every other hour because you know she wants it. After that do a low and slow cook with hickory chips and after 10 hours she’ll fall apart in your hands.”

-Yeah Right and Andy Reid’s new YT channel, first post
scotchnaut


Today is May 2nd, a big day in U.S. Civil war history. Two significant events happened, but one of them gets all the attention, then and now, even though the other one was more important.

First, May 2nd is during the Battle of Chancellorsville in Virginia (April 30 to May 4, 1863), where General Stonewall Jackson’s corps famously slipped around the Union Army of the Potomac’s right flank and slammed into it out of the dense woods known as “The Wilderness.” It was the culmination of Lee’s outmaneuvering of General Joseph Hooker, and led ultimately to Hooker’s withdrawal. Chancellorsville is called “Lee’s Perfect Battle” and led to the confidence that resulted in his invasion of Pennsylvania and his defeat at Gettysburg in July, which was really the beginning of the end of the Lee’s Army of Northern Virginia and ultimately the rebellion.

At the exact same time, however, General Ulysses S Grant is conducting one of the most important elements of his Vicksburg Campaign, the Army of the Tennessee’s crossing of the Mississippi River (April 30 to May 2, 1863). While Chancellorsville may be Lee’s Perfect Battle, the Vicksburg campaign is considered the greatest campaign in U.S. Army history, and led to a major strategic victory. Lee was fighting battles; Grant was fighting a war.

Grant’s crossing was the largest amphibious operation in U.S. military history until D-Day in June 1944.

Between April 30 and May 2, 1863, Grant moved 45,000 troops plus their animals and artillery across the Mississippi River, crossing 25,000 on the first night alone. His army was strictly built for speed and light weight: each soldier carried 3 days rations (expected to last 5 days), only essential animals and artillery were carried, and what supplies were brought were concentrated with ammunition, sugar, and coffee. After crossing, Grant’s force would immediately move out and go looking for a fight. There was no supply train; the Army of the Tennessee had to survive off the land and what they carried for 5 days until a supply train could be established, and in those 5 days they had to knock the Confederates off their heels and keep knocking them, never letting them pause and catch their breath. It was move, attack, move, attack, etc. If they didn’t reach their objective in 5 days and establish a supply line, the assault would have failed. Grant rolled the bones big time and won.

This crossing led to several battles where grant defeated the larger Confederate force (under General John Pemberton) by isolating smaller element’s of Pemberton’s army and outnumbering them and defeating them in detail.

The Vicksburg campaign culminated in the Siege of Vicksburg followed by Pemberton’s surrender in the Fall of Vicksburg, which happened July 4 1863, at the same time as Lee’s defeat at Gettysburg. The Fall of Vicksburg seized full control of the Mississippi River by Union Forces and cut the Confederacy in half. It is considered one of the most important elements in the Union’s victory in the war.

Yet, because the Eastern Theater got all the press attention at the time (and still today, really), Grant’s massive accomplishment is generally overshadowed by Lee’s romantic yet losing efforts from Chancellorsville to Gettysburg to Appomattox.

tldr: Grant > Lee
Brick Meathook

And soon afterwards Lincoln recognizes he needs a brawler and a gambler to end the whole thing.
2Pack

My great grandfather 37th Wisconsin Volunteers was in on the final kill.

2Pack


Found a funny:

[date]

her: I’m a big dog person

me: whispering oh shit werewolf
rockingdog


Found a funny:

Spirit Airlines has officially shut down operations.

Well, you know what that means…

rockingdog


Someone say pickle?

DJ TAJ


Here’s the mini L.A. DFO Confab & Summit Meeting at Joe Jost’s, July 20 2024 (Hey that’s Moon Landing Day!)

Visible are a schooner of beer, some pretzels, an empty bag of peanuts in the shell, and one of Joe Jost’s signature Polish sausage sandwiches.

Of course you recognize Yeah Right there on the left, and you can tell that Ballsy is on the right because he paints all his fingernails black except for the thumbs. It’s obvious that Brick took the photograph by the professional grade autofocus.

Photo©️The Meathook Foundation For The Arts / Consolidated Brick LLC

Brick Meathook


Found a funny:

Cold plunge tub salesman: in an ideal world, how would you start each day
Me: cup of coff-
Him: that’s right, a simulation of an ice fishing accident
rockingdog


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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

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scotchnaut

Was doing some research into “What are the Leafs Chances of Making The Payoffs?” and God, it’s more beautiful than you could possibly imagine. This is a cesspool of piranhas eating each other alive to get to the most negative take.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wovka7WqH7k

Mr. Ayo

And they just won the draft lottery. WTF Bettemen

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We all had a good laugh at “Operation Epic Fury” but “Project Freedom” is just plain sad. It’s the product of a propaganda crew that is just completely bereft of ideas. What’s next, “Operation War”?

Brick Meathook

Culver City, dude

IMG_2359
SonOfSpam

I wish Jesse had stayed in the olympic bread biz and stayed the hell out of government.

Last edited 13 hours ago by SonOfSpam
Don T

Call me presumpshus, but if you like Lesser:
Tomorrow is Mandatory
/ninja smoke bomb
//ruined favorite Vans

Last edited 13 hours ago by Don T
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Lesser, I barely know her, ha ha! Oh sorry, I thought you said ‘lease her’.” – Steve Tisch

Horatio Cornblower

/files continuance for two Court hearings

Horatio Cornblower

(it was granted)

Horatio Cornblower

Now Arsenal’s problem is that, tactics aside, and while I can’t speak for Bayern Munich, based on last year PSG is just better. Which is an issue.

But at least it’s an issue they’ll get to address, and in romantic Budapest, no less.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yay!

Horatio Cornblower

Most amazing thing about this game is the beating Gjokeres has taken, and yet not a hair on his head is out of place.

Don T

With Atleti out, a good final is guaranteed 🎉 🎈

Horatio Cornblower

They really play an unattractive game.

Don T

Simeone was Osama in the Al-Qaeda v. ISIS narrative of this semi. ‘Nuff said 🤭

Don T

Both managers are going nuts 🤣

Horatio Cornblower

So happy icing is still legal in soccer

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t know what just happened, and I was looking right at it, but how is it not 1-1 right now?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Turf monster!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Or are you talking about the other chance where he Mark Trestmanned it one too many times instead of just kicking the damned thing.

Horatio Cornblower

I think it was the turf monster, plus on the replay it looked like someone slid in with a last minute tackle.

Don T

Handsome Mikel going with a black and gray outfit is too dark and handsome.

Don T

A tactical hug is the best foul

Horatio Cornblower

Ateltico guy complaining about the yellow card when he was lucky not to be charged with sexual assault.

Don T

Christ, that Atleti fan on the babe cam had more foundation than the Great Wall of China. Pancake citah

SonOfSpam

Postgame party at Mar-a-Lago

Don T

😝

Horatio Cornblower

Does the color guy know there’s 20 minutes left in the match?

Horatio Cornblower

FUCK!!

Don T

Nailed it.
-Blair Walsh

Don T

THIS ARS 1 : 0 ATM (2-1 aggr.) I CALL IT IRAN V. US/ISR BECAUSE IT’S A HELLA OFFENSIVE SEMI STALEMATE

Last edited 14 hours ago by Don T
King Hippo

GOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

all coming up Gov. Rhodes this week!

King Hippo

TUDN feed is even MOAR interesante when one is high on goofballs and can thus convince onesaelf that it’s Balls y DonT commentating.

SonOfSpam

Here’s a new song by the hip rocknroll combo “The Rolling Stones” let’s give it a listen, these lads could use some support.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHaEFarmZx8&list=RDFHaEFarmZx8&start_radio=1

SonOfSpam

Went down a Rolling Stones rabbit hole, where I found this passage about former bassist Bill Wyman (age 89, still kickin):

In 1993, Wyman’s son Stephen Wyman married Patsy Smith, the 46-year-old mother of Wyman’s ex-wife Mandy Smith. Stephen was 30 years old at the time. Consequently, the ex-Rolling Stone became his own son’s ex-son-in-law, the father-in-law of his ex-mother-in-law, as well as the stepgrandfather of his ex-wife.

Brick Meathook

Welcome back to L.A.!

Here’s a billboard for toilet paper called “Who Gives A Crap”

IMG_2354
SonOfSpam

So…do any sock-her fans have a prediction about today’s Shempions match?

I guess the smrt money says Arsenal wins like 2-1. Seems legit.

ballsofsteelandfury

The fun part is that I could argue for a 3-1 result either way.

Horatio Cornblower

Depends which team shows up. The one that ran train all over Fulham? They’ll win 2-0.

The one that had been around the previous 3-4 weeks? 2-1 losers.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, they were very good against Full Ham. I don’t have a dog in this hunt, but I don’t wanna see Atleti in the finals, trying to play a 0-0 game against a better team.

Go Gooners is what I’m saying.

2Pack

Sensational hustle here Sir.

IMG-20260403-WA0006
Don T

Yoink!

Horatio Cornblower

But what does this mean for the Maple Leafs’ chances in the play-offs?

https://defector.com/everyone-is-already-mad-at-the-new-gm-of-the-toronto-maple-leafs

Horatio Cornblower

This photograph of the Man City fan who got internet famous drinking from a bottle labeled ‘Arsenal Tears’ bring me so much joy.

https://bsky.app/profile/joe-daniels.bsky.social/post/3ml2lp5sjn22g

Note the prop bottle stashed in his jacket pocket. Fucking guy was hoping to do it for a third straight week. By all means give Arsenal shit, lord knows I do, but when you try to make yourself the main character, well, get well and truly fucked. Enjoy that 3-3 loss to Everton, bozo.

Doktor Zymm

He looks old enough that I’m not gonna give him shit for not coming up with a new bit every week. Amazing he even came up with one, maybe his grandkids thought of it for him

Sharkbait

Fun fact about Vicksburg. Because they were whiny bitches about surrendering the siege on July 4th, the city didn’t formally celebrate independence day until 1945!

Losers.

ballsofsteelandfury

I do enjoy the gigantic pictures. Let’s not change anything.

Doktor Zymm

Good, because I have no idea how to change that!

Sharkbait

Task failed successfully!

Gatoraids

Eli approves

LemonJello

He just wishes he could color the big pictures, just like in his favorite Transformers book!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes, yes, we’ve all been in line behind you at the gas station, we’re well aware of your propensities.

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