Raging JV Semis Thread (Also Open Monday Yada Yada)

Was everybody amply and appropriately bored with the appetizer games?  #MeToo.

Now, let’s dig into that main fucking course.

Alabama (+2) v. Michigan (5:00, ESPN)

One might think this is hangover mercy, putting the better matchup/de facto championship game in the early slot.  But apparently this is solely to satisfy the Rose Bowl clinging on to always having the exact same time slot.  Kind of cute, perhaps.  At least quaint.

Roll Damn Tide has infiltrated the COMMIEFORNIA landscape, as Brick noted on his recent flight.  They will show out in great numbers, and hopefully shit in Lesser Harbs’ mouth.  But that shaky offense (line and quartered back both) against the Michigan Men defense is a bad, bad matchup.  Nick Saban will always have a puncher’s chance (as he showed against UGA), but I give the slight edge to the smug, cheating fuckwads Up North.

Texas (-4) v. Washington (8:45, ESPN)

Sadly, I agree with Vegas again.  U-Dub has seemingly been living on borrowed time, and the clock likely strikes midnight tonight.  Perhaps even EXACTLY at midnight, depending on whether the first game goes a bit long.  Penix Power will keep them in the game until Q4, when Hippo suspects Steerfuckers South will pull away.

I probably will still write up the finale, but you can bet your ass I ain’t watching a TX/UM game.  A pox on both houses, and then some.

Hopefully, I am wrong, and Bastard Man Ayo can demand that we all BOW DOWN! at least one last time.  I also want to re-post the banner pic.