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Nihilism Saturday Thread

King Hippo

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Ja, Lebowski.  Hippo believes in nuh-shing!

There really ain’t much going on for the hoopsball non-watcher.  I continue to read avidly and pine for the sweet FITBAW smell of autumn.  Looking forward to Draft weekend, as the Donks just swirl deeper down the terlet bowl.

Even though I know fuck shit (see the DFO Bracketology Pool standings for proof), here are your two early fixtures – Scotchy will wipe the blood off his blade of choice and be by later for the rest:

7W Dayton (+9.5) v. 2W Arizona (12:45, CBS)

How much stock do you put into the “House Money” theory?  Because Nevada had Day-Day ded and buried, and let them off the hook somehow (I was napping).  Nothing to lose, for sure.  That said, Bear Down FOAR Midterms looked like the classic schoolyard bully.  Long Beach knew it was in trouble, and in trouble it stayed.  Mostly I feel like the Fighting Blax (so many nicknames!) continue their savagery, and win in a laugher.  But it could just be gas.

5MW Gonzaga (-4.5) v. 4MW Kansas (3:15, CBS)

The one pod where I kind of expected some chaos, and NOPE – pure chalk.  I am tired of both of these programs, to be honest.  At least one of them will exit stage left today, so there’s that.  YMMV.

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jjfozz

My son is watching some Disney movie/cartoon and I want to machine gun the slime who put this shit together. Good god what crap.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

With that “box out” ad Buffalo Wild Wings is sending an excellent message to society that if you own a business, you should be able to assault as many of its patrons and employees as you like.

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WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was feeling so clever about having seen through Kansas as overseeded frauds until I checked my bracket and realized that I’d actually picked them to beat Gonzaga, who I also viewed as overseeded frauds.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m currently wearing white sweat pants, a white long-sleeved shirt and I just cut my own hair.

HI I’M RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY!

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SonOfSpam

Is he touching himself? (Mark Davis or Rikki)

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WCS

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Brick Meathook

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED:

I have officially been granted Gold Medallion Status by Delta Airlines. This is better than that stinking Silver Medallion Status, but unfortunately not as good as the coveted Platinum and Diamond statuses.

What benefit does Gold Medallion Status confer on me? Why, it’s like being a prince! I can lord it over the fucking peasants on any Delta or Delta-partnered flight I take; I have priority lavatory use and can kick people out if necessary; I can sit in the cockpit and fly the plane for certain stretches; not only do I get unlimited free booze but also unlimited free drunkenness; seat belt use is optional; unlimited loud flatulence; I can reject seat mates and pick hot girls to sit next to me; free baggage check, etc. Of course, if there’s a Platinum or Diamond passenger I have to obey them, but they’re pretty rare on my flights.

Also I can tell people I’m Gold Medallion Status Hi-De-Hee Hi-De-Ho.

5
SonOfSpam

Getting to cockslap Silver Medallion passengers is nice too.

1
yeah right

Ordered the “NO shame” Pizza from my favorite place.

Mushrooms and sausage, thin crust.

Fucking outstanding.

This will immediately require more cold frosty beverages!

3
ballsofsteelandfury

That reminds me I need to order some pizza. I haven’t had good pizza in a while.

1
yeah right

You let me know a good time and I’ll take you to Buono’s here in Pedro.

1
yeah right

Watching the women’s with Iowa And Holy Cross.

Holy Cross coach definitely milf-tastic.

3
ballsofsteelandfury

Purple pants assistant wasn’t bad.

1
jjfozz

Foghorn Leghorn – you are what I strive to become.

2
scotchnaut

Wait. You’re already a loud-mouthed Schnook!

2
Gumbygirl

How is your dad settling in Fozzie? That’s got to be a huge weight off your shoulders.

1
jjfozz

He’s been okay, a few bumps with the staff there at the place, they’re very nice but slightly incompetent. My mother is there every day – one of the main reasons for this move was to give her back her life. So, I haven’t said a word. Overall, it’s been a big relief – and thanks for asking!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A WASP with a southern accent?

0
King Hippo

I never hear this on the radio, but it also slays:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Zkkdj4OXCY

2
King Hippo

I heard this tune for the first time in many years, on my way to get some work papers this morning. Still fucking shreds.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9kXstb9FF4

2
yeah right

Good band!

1
King Hippo

From The Canadia IIRC?

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

EDIT: That was weird, when I first loaded the page it showed as the Billy Joel song I posted earlier.

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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blaxabbath

Also — GCU ain’t that bad. I mean, didn’t play no one but also didn’t take many like bad losses.

In case you maybe thought ASU was in the tournament but they aren’t so GCU is in Phoenix.

3
King Hippo

Private. Christian. Affordable. amirite????

3
blaxabbath

Everyone must be watching the women’s tournament.

1
King Hippo

I hate how CBS schedules. 2.5 games with no channel flipping option, and it’s blowout/matchup of no interest/blowout AND no interest all in a row.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’re now watching figure skating, actually.

1
yeah right

Golf with a bunch of dudes I never heard of.

2
King Hippo

Balls was really humble about turning pro and being on teevee!

4
ballsofsteelandfury

There really should be a golf league for high handicap golfers. Hilarity would ensue.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Swearing and drinking not so much encouraged as mandatory.

2
yeah right

Now I would watch that!

1
blaxabbath

Dayton should have recruited a third player for this game.

2
blaxabbath

Wait? You’re telling me the templated Keys to the Game #content is just lazy AI-generated non-commercial broadcast?

2
blaxabbath

CBS Announcers: “let’s see how this fragrant 1 really gives Dayton a spark! Want to buy car insurance?!”

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…fragrant…

It appears that blax’s phone’s speech-to-text settings are stuck on “Hines Ward”.

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Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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King Hippo

I miss being able to enjoy that bit without feeling DAS RAYCESS.

THANKS, Obama!!!!11111

0
jjfozz

This dude was the inspiration for the greatest of all time quotes I ever read on KSK when he retired.

“The Steelers got a little less black and a little less yellow today.”

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Whew. That’s “Christmas Ham who wished he could become a real boy” adjacent – we’re talking true Hall of Fame type stuff.

1
blaxabbath

Bradley looks like Carlton Banks’ natural cousin.

1
blaxabbath

The whites are easily the worst uniforms Arizona has this year. The blues are ny favorite.

1
King Hippo

obvi Blax doesn’t approve of the Whites smgdh

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blaxabbath

This is where it gets fun.

1
scotchnaut

Up by double digits-can hit three pointers here and there but have trouble with free throws. Oh my.

1
blaxabbath

Like that spin move. You don’t get that until it’s like, ‘well fuck it go play individual ball if they’re gonna play that D.’

2
blaxabbath

These refs been letting them play all night. I don’t care to see calls now.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I wish those refs were my parents.” – Elisha

4
King Hippo

DayDay almost making a game of this. Blax – how much opium do you offer for Hippo to turn the TV on and jinx them?

2
blaxabbath

When was the last time Arizona trailed?

1
King Hippo

Dunno? But there is always the chance that first Flyera lead comes at the buzzer. Can u REELY risk it???

-1
blaxabbath

Save that pitch for the broads at the CBS marketing department. “You cannot let Arizona take a 7 point lead into the last ten minutes” just doesn’t put eyes on shitty-beer ads.

1
jjfozz

I have been watching My 600 LB Life. And I’ll admit, I’ve made some sarcastic comments that will land me in hell, but I have also laughed at loud at my own jokes.

5
blaxabbath

Do better things with your time Fozz.

1
jjfozz

You scrape the bottom of the barrel after laying on the floor for a week. I started off reading Plato’s Republic and then it all went downhill from there.

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King Hippo

I will NEVAR EVER accept the new sensitivity that says we shouldn’t fat shame. We absolutely can, should, and MUST.

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blaxabbath

Regardless of all that, I just do.

Fattys can prepare themselves or not.

2
yeah right

Prepare themselves for the meat packing plant.

1
jjfozz

I don’t get it either. yes, let’s encourage obesity and make it acceptable. don’t worry, we’ll all chip in for your gastric bypass and watch you take a rascal scooter and demolish a bakery

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Horatio Cornblower

My 600 Lb. Life needs to be reconfigured as a hunting show.

2
jjfozz

Well, you could those fuckers from a mile away, so we’d have to put them in some kind of all terrain armored Rascal. Or put targets on them with different points.

1
scotchnaut

Jack Armstrong is a beloved (to me at least) basketball guy on TSN and he looks great. The reason I mention this is because during Covid he looked like Dylan Thomas after drinking 18 straight whiskeys*

*”I believe that’s the record” is what Dylan purportedly said before he passed away

4
jjfozz

DYLAN THOMAS IS STILL ALIVE EVERYONE NOWS THIS!

3
scotchnaut

The left-wing Maga (that loves conspiracy theories as well) has reared it’s ugly head and everyone is really, really confused.

1
King Hippo

Horseshoe theory* is absolutely a real phenomenon. But the right-wing crazies drive the train with the GOP. That is the critical difference.

*see also lefty places like Portland that won’t flouridate their water

0
Horatio Cornblower

The White Horse Saloon.

I read somewhere that the story of his last words has been debunked, but much like Kyrie Irving and flat Earth, I’m gonna ignore that and keep on believing.

3
scotchnaut

what Dylan purportedly said

I read somewhere

Nobody on this site does hard, verifiable research like Horatio and myself

3
jjfozz

30 seconds of research, his last words, confirmed by me, were: “That’s a spicy meatball.”

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Why is homeowners insurance so expensive?” – Dr. Mrs. Deadly, Esq. (Ret) walking away from a hot iron that she left on top of a stack of books

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blaxabbath

When she get (ret)?

Or is this like a John Esstman thing?

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

She’s been effectively retired for several years now. She keeps her bar fees paid but only bills maybe fifty hours a year on random stuff.

1
blaxabbath

Grammarly Free Trial

1
blaxabbath

I’ll never miss guys being down 12 and flexing.

4
scotchnaut

Oh yeah. Wide receivers getting a first down, down by three scores late in the 4th quarter and thinking they’ve just owned that cb? smh…

4
blaxabbath

This is about how Arizona should look. Go to Ballo. When he sucks, just get that kid so can read but you know he just don’t like to read sometimes to put up the opponent’s score.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When he sucks, just get that kid so can read but you know he just don’t like to read sometimes to put up the opponent’s score.

Who wrote this sentence, a UNC graduate?

2
Horatio Cornblower

Decided to knock off some errands that I could do over the interwebs this afternoon.

One of them was canceling the registration on my Honda, which my son has and which he has registered in Vermont, where he lives. Now that he has a registered car, I can cancel it in CT without him getting busted for driving an unregistered car. That’s good!

So I get all the info together and go online.

Where I run into a brick wall because the DMV site doesn’t recognize the street number I put in for the address that appears on my license even though it a) is staring back at me from my license, b) is the same place I’ve been for the last 26 years, and c) is the same address that the DMV has no problem finding me at when it’s time to pay fees to renew licenses and registration.

Also, when I tried to go and (heh) address the address situation as directed, it just sent me in a circle back to the pop-up telling me they couldn’t complete the process because there was a problem with my address.

Anyway, the Jan. 6 protestors were right.

4
jjfozz

The Maryland State website for EZ Pass was designed by hunchbacked cretins pumped full of halucinogens. It is one immense circle.

5
Gumbygirl

They must use the same IT guys ESPN does. While I enjoy chasing my tail, (who doesn’t?) it gets a little tiresome after 20 minutes or so.

0
jjfozz

Because things were getting dull in the Fozz Bunker, my back pain decided, “Hey, let’s fuck with him.” And I’ve been laying on the floor for a week. Working. This is so awesome.

I did get pain pills, so that’s good. I was daring myself to combine bourbon with them, but in a surge of maturity, didn’t.

As Mr. Vonnegut wrote, “And so it goes.”

7
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As did Billy Joel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHO6a2H-pqY

2
blaxabbath

Granted, a Dayton 7 may very well be a Tucson 10 — but I don’t think this will effect the outcome of this game.

3
scotchnaut

The only way ‘Zona loses this is if they get way out-coached.

1
scotchnaut

Talk about my knees some more? Ok, fine.

I’ve played hundreds maybe a few thousands of hours of pickup basketball games on asphalt courts but one year I’d like to take away was an intramural basketball season at a community center in the Hunt Club section of Ottawa. The multi-purpose floor was worse than concrete. As well, the season was two games a week for 18 weeks plus playoffs plus I made an “all-star” team (in the weakest sense of the word) that played a fund-raiser against the Ottawa Roughriders. At the age of twenty my knees would be sore after the second game of the week.

/that whole reaping/sowing thingy is true

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Busted knees? I’d rather LOOK AT THESE.

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2
Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, but her lower back is a mess.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Eh, so was Kate Upton’s but that didn’t ruin her career (or Justin Verlander, who was the one who was actually responsible for the mess).

1
2Pack

I’m guessing local footy hostess has bolt on’s. Will follow up if I ever run into her.

IMG_20240323_173045.jpg
2
King Hippo

GREAT shoulders, am much appreciate

2
Horatio Cornblower

Did well in my poker tournament last night, which also means I went to bed after 2:30. Cat got me up at 7:41 for breakfast, so I fed him and the dog, then let the dog out, (and, importantly, also back in), before going back to bed.

Woke up and looked at the clock.

11:23.

THAT’S GOOD EMPTY NESTING!!!

4
BugEyedBoo

I got caught up in playing Mass Effect (third time), looked up and it was 4 AM. I slept in until 10:30. Need more sleep.

2
Fronkenshteen

Good morning from the Shenandoah Valley, home of the JMU Dukes, who I’m guessing are now “America’s Team” until they beat Duke Sunday evening. The mountains are currently on fire, which looks to be a potential catastrophe if folks couldn’t evacuate in time. I heard stories of farmers cutting their own fences so their livestock could escape the flames and heat. The structure fires clearly visible from interstate 81 yesterday looked like goddamn artillery strikes on the ridge line. It finally started to rain last night at around 11:30; a driving storm which washed the wood smoke out of the air and left a slick coating of creosote on all the roadways. JMU kids trudged out in the rain for a spontaneous victory celebration where they always do; at a confluence of three major apartment complexes called “Manor Gap”, but the cops couldn’t handle any expressions of collective joy, so they immediately closed off all egresses to the party by jamming squad cars across all the entrances and flipping on ALL their red & blues. Which…what?! Combined with the glistening, slippery roadways, driving rain, and hundreds of drunk kids groping around in the dark looking for rides or friends, the lights added a kaleidoscopic element that literally blinded me and forced me to cancel several rides until I got one that took me away from the area. I guess what I’m saying is take JMU to win OUTRIGHT! Heading back into the chaos to drive muddy drunks around all afternoon, but I hope you guys all have the afternoon and evening you need today. Cheers! Here’s a great old Radio Birdman song called “Snake”. It’s COOL.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TcCKlKa2t4

7
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The structure fires clearly visible from interstate 81 yesterday looked like goddamn artillery strikes on the ridge line. It finally started to rain last night at around 11:30; a driving storm which washed the wood smoke out of the air and left a slick coating of creosote on all the roadways.

I love when the folks around here flex their writing muscles. That’s good shit, Fronk.

5
Fronkenshteen

Any compliment I get here is weighted tenfold in my head and heart. Thanks man.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY I CALL HIM TAMMY REID BECAUSE THE SOUND OF SPOON IS THE SOUNDRACK OF HIS MORNING.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCJ3SxUGr58

1
scotchnaut

If there was ever a basketball team that could call the NIT it’s “Forever Home”, it must be Seton Hall.

2
Horatio Cornblower

This looks like a high school game.

1
scotchnaut

I do admire their pluck, their sheer stubbornness. Despite lack of support from the school’s administration for five decades they still trot a team out there every year. Good god, like Providence and BC they were an automatic win in the early days of the Big East. You’d think that they’d have dropped to D2 or at least transferred to the Metro Atlantic to join the likes of Iona and Fordham.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[tunes in] – Matt Gaetz

1
herodotus450

UCF, because then we could call them the Knights who say NIT

5
2Pack

Right in the middle of the madness… my AFN sat decoder goes off requiring me to re register it. Da man said I may have to wait up to 24 hours but I recall last time I did this it was back up as soon as my west coast bro’s get in to work. On a Saturday. Wish me luck peeps… I may have to shift to Euro sports.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was impressed by how much folks were able to scrape together for yesterday’s basketball-ish themed Request Line. This song would have worked, too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7v0KCoPMTdU

2
King Hippo

Such a great song and great band!

0
Senor Weaselo

I had the wrong chaos brackets and I think 19-13 is my Worst. First round. Ever.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I haven’t seen such bad bracket work since the last batch of C++ code I wrote!

0
Senor Weaselo

Everyone tells me I should learn to code, but when I took CS1 (mandated for my math minor) I was doing hack job work. In Processing.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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WCS

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4
Senor Weaselo

In fairness, I got an A in the class. But the final project I just copied bits from the other class work we did to make a mouse vs. keyboard controlled game of Pong.

3
Gumbygirl

If Pong is Wrong, I don’t wanna be Right!

0
BugEyedBoo

if (usingKandR == true){
wrong = true;
}

// K&R indentation makes my brain hurt.

3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

But Camel case is okay?
/let the formatting wars begin

0
BugEyedBoo

Camel case was beaten into me back in the 90’s, along with Hungarian notation (szThisIsHungarian). I’ve broke myself of Hungarian, but still use camel case.

1
King Hippo

oh my cats, thank FUCK I was a freshman back when cheating was still plausible

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Ya, it’s called ChatGPT, just need to ask it to write your code. It’s been writing some of mine for works lately

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s a lovely day for watchin’ basketball in Los Angeles.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzFnYcIqj6I

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

My body hurts. It’s hell getting old.

4
scotchnaut

I hear you. My left knee-which has been operated on twice-has been aching the last two days and I’m afraid that my hiking/jogging plans for the spring and summer are in serious jeopardy.

/I’ll take, “Potentially Arthritic Joints for $600, Alex”

4
King Hippo

oh, is mos’ def arthritis. I had a meniscus repaired in my right knee like 12 years ago, and the ortho was “shocked” at how many arthritic changes he saw, given I wasn’t even 40 yet (and at the time, not that fat).

There are days it absolutely kills me, no rhyme nor reason as to why. I have a support/compression sleeve, which I use as needed. That helps.

But opium is essential for that, too. KILL ME NOW, GOD.

2
scotchnaut

oh, is mos’ def arthritis

Thanks Buddy!

2
yeah right

That’s “Osteo” Arthritis if you please.

1
yeah right

For me it’s the IT band. That fucking thing tightens up when I pee at night and it’s a motherfucker just unlocking my knee.

But push forward I must.

3
2Pack

Amen to that. Being in the use it or lose it catagory sux. But it beats the alternative. Imma goin down fightin.

3
yeah right

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjCFyw67TPs

1
2Pack

I have that album on vinyl

1
yeah right

We did too until we sold it on Ebay.

0
blaxabbath

Now, look, I’m no international relations expert but it seems to me that getting mowed down by Islamic State terrorists or trampled in the ensuing chaos dropping at a weeknight performance of your favorite rock band in Moscow will actually be one of the more peaceful ways most Russians may hope to die.

8
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“That’s right, you are no international relations expert.” – Ivanka Trump, struggling to locate “Russia” on a map

2
Senor Weaselo

I would think that’s the only country anyone in that family would be able to locate on a map.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My conservative brother was once unable to identify what continent the country “South Africa” was on.

/is not joking, but we were quite young when this happened

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jesus Christ look at the aftermath of from as best as I can tell was just a few Molotov cocktails. What the hell did they use for construction material when they built that place, Duraflame logs?

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4
Senor Weaselo

Flame-protardant polymascotfoamalate?
https://youtu.be/1WFgMOXl4v0?si=u_aGIvuUQXSML1VX

3
Brick Meathook

Hippo, I’m with you on the opiate pills, my friend.

Let’s rock out.

3
King Hippo

opium. The breakfast of CHAMPIONS!

2
blaxabbath

I’m waiting for my wife to get up because 2 cups of coffee is most def my max this am. We got a place out of town the last couple nights (don’t know why) and all i have asked for this trip is to watch my Cats, no bullshit just block me off like one of those dudes who gets every single Cubs game away from his family….

So anyways, tip is 9:45a. Stupid airbnb checkout is 10a. So I’ll likely catch most of it in the car, hopefully get most of the second half at home*.

*we all know some bullshit is waiting for me back home that requires immediate attention.

3
King Hippo

That is what marriage is all about. You can do favoUrs, pre-do extra chores, whatever. In order to prove that you REALLY love your wife, they will insist on preempting whatever pastime means the most to you. Just to make sure you’d always “choose” her.

/marital wisdom from the divorced man who hasn’t had sex in like 7 years

4
blaxabbath

“I only do my wife, my mistress, and any random chick who shows a passing interest Never any dudes.

Never. Any. Dudes.”

-Sill Bimmons

2
Horatio Cornblower

Mrs. Horatio is the complete and total opposite of that, and that’s probably why we’ve been together 32 years.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We need to set up some prop bets for what that bullshit would be. My money is on “washing the sheets in the guest bedroom that were changed a month ago and haven’t been used since because her parents are coming to visit and she wants them to be clean”.

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Clean out the eves
Dangerous and prob not needed going into summer

3
Horatio Cornblower

I just got an email telling me that “OTC morphine is now available!”

That seems like a bad idea.

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3
yeah right

Thin out the herd!

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