Instant Hippo Thoughts – Wild Card B-tches! (2017 Season)

Charlie Kelly would have loved the Erotic Smashmouthing we saw Saturday evening.  Sorry for no bonus Sunday thoughts, blame demon alcohol and that RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! loss.  UGH. They will be back, and better than ever.  Your smug victory is fleeting, Balls. On to Sunday.  Good Lord, did #EvenWeekJaguras ever show up.  Unfortunately, that

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 17, 2017

Yes indeed, we have reached the end of regulation play.  To celebrate the absence of the Shitty Clippers, here are your Wild Card matchups: #5 Tennessee Titans at #4 Kansas City Chefs (4:20, ESPN/ABC) As always, KC gets the worst time slot whenever they are part of the tournament.  I do believe

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 16, 2017

I hope everyone enjoyed the last REAL week of RedZone action, because it truly is the best that life has to offer.  Stay preserved, coked-up RedZone Guy, we are all counting on you. Everybody shits on #ThePauls (who got their brains beat in by the Bearistocrats!) but the Falcons are just

Holiday Shopping Guide. How to buy presents for the young ladies in your life

banner image courtesy of: Happy holidays folks! You know Christmas is just a few days away don't you? You didn't procrastinate again this year did you? Goddammit! Why do you do this to yourself? Now it's getting too late to order something online and have it shipped to you. You may even

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 15, 2017

It was a week that gave us definitive answers on "Are the Jaguras and RRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! really for reals?" Uh...yeah. Odd Week Jaguras welcomed the sad-sack, imaginary side from Yooooouuuuston, with toe owie Hopkins.  They held out Leonard Fournette.  Marquise Lee got injured early.  Neither mattered in the slightest.  45-7.  Yeah, if

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 14, 2017

Week 14 had snow angels.  Huzzah. Without question, Humps at Bills was the Match of the Day, just for the optics.  It was beautiful anarchy.  Jacoby Brissett led a late, 50-play scoring drive and looked to have won the game 8-7, but OPI forced them to try an NFL first for

TGISF… AKA Your “Wang Chung Tonight” Sexy Friday Open Thread

Short week this week for a few reasons.  So I'm dipping into the "Pool of Princesses" for TGISF this week to make things easy on myself.  Low hanging fruit, yada yada yada. And while I don't have the energy or the creativity to try to be coy with the identity of

DFO-CON Vegas II – We’re All Still Alive

As most of you are aware, and are probably tired of hearing about by now I'm sure, some of us here at DFO got together this past weekend in Las Vegas for fun and fellowship.  It was our 2nd consecutive year in Vegas.  And though our numbers may have been

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Lucky Week 13, 2017

Hey, when you follow up a craptastic day of JV GAMBLOR with a beautiful 6-match unbeaten run (sullied only by a longshot moneyline bet on Los Gigantes, which didn't play out THAT crazy), you give the number its props. There's no luck in Buffalo, where the usual P*ts hammering also came

TGISF… AKA “Are Ya Feelin’ Lucky, Punk?” Sexy Friday Open Thread

Note:  While I wasn't paying attention, BallsofSteel once again invaded my personal space.  At least this time I didn't need antibiotics afterwards. But I digress... In all seriousness, I've got a busy week, including packing for and going to Vegas.  Balls has been kind enough to "volunteer" to contribute his vast and

NFL Assistant Coaches: Pictorial Omnibus, Part Seven

In our continuing series portraying the vagaries of life as an NFL assistant coach, I am honored to present our latest installation of photographs that will hopefully open up a new perspective on this demanding and captivating profession.                           We sincerely hope you have enjoyed our presentation, and please look for our