Great day for futbol. Saturday Morning thread now with more sectarianism!

Good morning all. I hope you’re all well this morning and if you have a hangover/bongover that it isn’t too severe.

Since I am filling in this weekend let’s have a look across Europe at the end of the season.

Serie A – It is Inter’s world and the rest of the clubs are just living in it.

Ligue 1 – PSG isn’t up by as much as you would think. They are up 3 on Lens but do have a game in hand. I admittedly put Ligue Uhhhhn on in the background when I am doing Saturday cooking/chores. It is a fun league.

Bundesliga – Bayern, always Bayern. They’re up by 13 on Dortmund. The usual. Funny thing is that I went to a game in Bayern and was 10th row in the Sudkurve from the pic above. The game I went to was during Oktoberfest at 9 pm. It was an incredible experience, the locals gave me a song sheet, and beers were plentiful. One of them gave me a Sudkurve scarf and I display it proudly on my wall. Alfonso Davies is hurt again which sucks balls for Canada this summer.

La Liga – Hahahaha fuck you Madridistas. There is a petition to get Mbappe out of there.

Eredivisie – Eindhoven is up by 17 pts.

Folks, twenty years ago I moved to Scotland to work at what was then The Westin Turnberry resort. You know who bought it and I don’t want to talk about that. Anywhoo, every Scot I would meet at work would greet me and then immediately ask me whether I supported Rangers or Celtic? My family is originally from Dundee and they were raised protestant. At the time both teams really sucked, and still do for that matter. Also during that time a Lithuanian gangster was in talks to buy Heart of Midlothian, or Hearts so that was moving the needle for me. Also they’re the protestant team in Edinburgh so that ticked two boxes for me. I then got to visit Tynecastle my 2nd week in the country to work and event at a sister hotel. It was old, shitty and absolutely beautiful. I was in.

I say all this because currently Hearts is in 1st place with 3 games to go. They beat Rangers last weekend in a game that nearly gave me a heart attack. Had that happened I would have been meeting BeerguyRob’s dad who was an ardent Hearts supporter. Hearts hasn’t won the league since 1960 and no team other than the Old Firm has won the league since Aberdeen led by Alex Ferguson won it in 1984. It is a big deal in Scotland.

This weekend Hearts plays away to Motherwell who have been damn good this year. This is a game where Hearts has to at least get a point. Next week they are at home to Falkirk, and the last weekend of the season they are away to Celtic and there is NO chance they win that game.

Also this weekend is an Old Firm Derby also at Parkhead. The sectarian in me knows for a fact that Rangers won’t lay down against the Hoops ever under any circumstance. It’s in their blood. That game is at 5:00 am my time, noon in Glasgow because the police have learned that the games have to be as early as possible or there will be more blood than usual.

On to England!

The early tilt is a good one for a meteor to hit.

Chelsea – Liverpool. The tenants of North Fulham have had an absolutely comical year. They won the Club World Cup and everyone thought that the billion dollar investment in players (seriously) would pay off in a run for the title. It didn’t quite work out that way as they are level on points with Everton and Fulham.

Liverpool despite all of the moaning that I hear from their supporters are safely in the Champions League and I think Slot keeps his job one more season. I will have to side with deci_litre and root for the Reds here. It is for the greater good Hippo.

Brighton – Wolves. Play well this week Wolves and not next week please. With the amount of Champions League positions that England could potentially get next year Brighton could be playing at minimum in the Europa league.

Sunderland – Man United. I’m not ready to live in a world where United is good again. Their supporters are insufferable and annoying. Sunderland stayed up, that’s cool.

Fulham – Bournemouth. Game of my season. This is it. If Mighty Whitey has a sniff at European football next season they MUST win this game. Bournemouth is playing kick ass football even after Semenyo left and their cooch said he was leaving at the end of the year. I will be in my basement pub screaming my face off interrupted only by rage walks with litrepug. If Fulham qualify for Europe on coach will stay and that is a good thing. Iwobi and Sessegnon are out which is a very bad thing.

Citeh – Brentford. For the love of all thing holy please kick the living shit out of the Bees. Get your 3 point Citeh then hope that West Ham does the best thing ever tomorrow. West Ham can simultaneously fuck over Arsenal, AND pass Tottenham in the relegation battle. If there is any futbol God in the world make it so.

 

That’s all I got. My life is now U9 futbol. 5 nights a week, it’s like a part time job. Recently I had a friend come and pugsit when we were in The Land of Blax whose daughter played for the Whitecaps U16 and U17 teams and then last year decided she didn’t want to play anymore. My friend said she didn’t know how much she missed taking her to practices and games. This year I’ve taken that to heart and am enjoying shuttling Alison Jr around town. Most of the pitches in my side of the city have a view of the mountains so it is great.

Also, its Mother’s Day tomorrow up here, not sure about down there. Get your shit together if you haven’t already. Mom’s are the best. Heh.

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yeah right

My best customer at work travels quite a bit and he always brings us these killer food bites.

Today I had Belgian dark chocolate that was mixed with raspberries and I paired that with a Napa Valley cabernet.

Taste buds are doing a happy dance.

Gumbygirl

You should let Deci kick his ass.

scotchnaut

[runs into the thread before the site goes down yet again]*

*”Your dumbass account has been suspended because you’re a dumbass. Dumbass.”

WCS

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yeah right

Current dining room configuration.

Not optimal.

yeah right

Thinking of putting a shower in the dining room.
Save a few steps.

1000027757
Beerguyrob

Stay the course!

Horatio Cornblower

Looks like Hearts tied. So there’s that.

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fntzQR8BJ0

Be like Carl; don’t forget your mom.

scotchnaut

The stupid Viking did something. But it was just to spite me so it doesn’t really count.

yeah right

Haaland there to clean up the garbage.

City looks like they’re playing with a 2 man advantage.

Horatio Cornblower

/watching Haaland score to make it 2-0

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Beerguyrob

Fuck the Old Firm!

Gatoraids

Wernor Herzog’s yelp review of Trader Joe’s

“Madness reigns. The first challenge your soul must endure is the parking lot. You wait with your vehicle half blocking traffic, creating a perfect circular vortex of anger that encompasses the street and the entrance to the store. Once you attain access to the lot, you discover that this is a false achievement; other motorists stop and start with no apparent thought or plan— turns once begun are quickly abandoned, the drivers seemingly immune to geometry. At last a space opens up, but the price is having to enter the store. Inside, human beings scramble like beetles whose rock has been upended. Though the aisles are wide it is impossible to avoid physical contact with your fellow shoppers. It is a grotesque parody of the bazaar at Marrakech, as if dumb animals had been granted only the amount of sentience required to mock humanity. The aisles are not labeled. You must search for every item. The constant walking up and down causes a numbness that borders on profound despair. Your conscious mind registers merely annoyance, impatience. But on a cellular level, your body cries out in weariness. The fatigue you feel is a warning: millions of years of evolution trying to save you from becoming mired in the tar, from sinking into the warm blackness and ultimately being reclaimed by the earth itself.

Be sure to get the dark chocolate peanut butter cups, they are right by the register.”

https://www.yelp.com/biz/trader-joes-los-angeles-5?hrid=9Jwm3Pmcfk96u-TkFZWvKA&utm_content=review&utm_source=ishare

Gatoraids

was from Paul f Tompkins found him doing it in voice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2QjxJkkU4o

Horatio Cornblower

I watched the Hulk Hogan documentary on Netflix and Werner Herzog is a legitimate fan. His interviews are hysterical, and accurate.

SonOfSpam

Hey great writeup this morning; the Scottish race has been fun to follow. As a (very very lapsed) Catholic, I gotta be with Celtic, but Hearts are a great story this season. Doesn’t seem like the game today is available to watch anywhere…are you subscribed to some kind of Scot sheepromancing streaming service?

Horatio Cornblower

Also Catholic, but Celtic has won before and Hearts hasn’t, at least in my lifetime, so the choice here is Hearts.

SonOfSpam

Agree totally, I just meant I have to side with Celtic over the heathen hellbound Rangers.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh absolutely

Gumbygirl

There were pubs you didn’t dare set foot in if you were wearing the wrong color. Real Bloods and Crips stuff, they are NOT fucking around!

Beerguyrob

Science!

Gumbygirl

Look, you, those kids shouldn’t be drinking under 9. Wait until they’re 10, you monster!

SonOfSpam

Was not prepared to be emotional over this. So what are we gonna sing when, um, IT happens?

https://bsky.app/profile/adamjschwarz.bsky.social/post/3mlgh6dq76s23

Brick Meathook

Brick Meathook Productions in association with Brick Meathook Industries and The Hole Center For Wholesome Holistic Whole Human Centeredness and The Alcoa Corporation Present:

BOTG: Brick Flies on an Aero-Plane

Episode 1

This is the Delta Club at LAX. The carpeting has a deep luxurious pile in soothing grays and blacks that hide stains effectively. The power strip below the window has 110VAC outlets that provide an eco-friendly voltage of 108VAC to save our planet’s precious resources. The old-fashioned USB-A ports promote creative thinking in the user for adapting pre-conceived connectivity notions to alternative and adaptable solutions. These outlets also access and analyze all of the users personal data such as financial records and naked selfies to identify potential security breaches that outside parties could harmfully exploit. The “31B” area indicates a parking ramp specifically for the new Northrop Grumman NG-31B Super-Liner hybrid aircraft that operates on flex-fuels, diesel distillates, corn oil, solar power, dreams, wind energy, water, and nitro-cellulose.

IMG_0077
scotchnaut

Do something you stupid Viking.

SonOfSpam

-everyone watching JJ McCarthy flail around BirdMurderDome last season

Doktor Zymm

What up Plato?

6370
2Pack

Ciao tutti. Got the garden in. Doubled up on the beets this year because last year’s first planting of those was sensational.

IMG-20260501-WA0001
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I should probably grow more beets this year. They’re happy enough in the garden but the problem is that I always plant them too close together so they don’t get as big as they should.

2Pack

I skipped the zucchini this year so I have more room.

Zucchini is cheap at the markets and takes up a lot of room.

Brick Meathook

Ask Dok for beet farming tips and how to make shoes from beets.

Gumbygirl

.

1000003236
Horatio Cornblower

My big triumph this season so far, since I’ve had no time to do anything, is seeing that the strawberries I transplanted last fall, and covered with thatch, have suddenly burst forth with the apparent intention of taking over the yard.

Last edited 23 days ago by Horatio Cornblower
2Pack

I just let mine go. Trim off some of the dead growth over the winter, but other than that I let them be. They come back each year, very easy peasy. I do hit them up with plant food around now…
/ thanks for the strawberries reminder…

Gumbygirl

You say that like it’s a bad thing

Horatio Cornblower

Oh it is a very pleasant surprise.

Gumbygirl

I just can’t with the beets. They always taste like a mouthful of mud to me.

2Pack

I disliked them as a kid, but really appreciate the flavor now. Younger daughter likes them a lot, her vegetarian fiancee has a couple of really good recipes for them.

yeah right

Both calls were…

Acceptable.

Doktor Zymm

Despite not really following the lesser footy, I do have rooting interests and they’re playing each other today!

I’ve probably spent more time in Manchester than any other non-US city, and that still holds even though I haven’t been back in about a decade. I have some great drinking stories from Manchester, and it has some of the best pubs – my 3 favorite being the student metalhead pub, the narrowest pub, and the public toilet pub. When I spent time there, United was a global brand and only locals cared about City, so of course I went with City. Been kinda weird watching them become dominant since it’s the only team I’ve ever supported that has been so.

The reason I like Brentford, despite them being a London area team, is because of the Robert Rankin Brentford Trilogy books (one of those more than 3 books trilogies). I highly recommend them and yeahright will back me up on this. Pint of Large, Neville!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I too know what it’s like to root for a team simply because they were local and then have them become obscenely dominant during that time, supplanting other Evil Empires along the way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrDacPNWBGA

yeah right

Another pint of Large please!

Horatio Cornblower

The announcer is this close to straight up calling the red-carded Fulham player a fucking idiot.

Gotta love the British.

blaxabbath
Last edited 23 days ago by blaxabbath
blaxabbath

Whatever

Horatio Cornblower

This game is going to end up 4-on-4

Horatio Cornblower

We may be evening the reds out here. That looks a lot worse on replay.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s straight into the shin.

yeah right

Fucking brutal

Horatio Cornblower

Yikes, that could very well be a red.

Horatio Cornblower

Drinking my hot chocolate out of the mug with the bees on it, because I am today a huge Brentford fan.

That said, I think Brentford is going to pay for Man City’s mistakes against Everton Innit last week. I’d take Man City and the over on that one.

scotchnaut

Bastard! I was told that I was a shoe-in this year!

/in previous years I was disqualified for that whole fractured skull fuckery-I kinda understand

Horatio Cornblower

I have a very different opinion on the West Ham game tomorrow.

yeah right

Clubhouse derby. Hide the cutlery!

yeah right

They sure were.

Don T

Never had a bongover. That’s going on the bucket list

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