Fantasy Gods, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me? Week 2 2017

As many of you know, I like to complain. The weather, sports, politics, nothing ever seems to be good enough for Brocky. Naturally this extends to fantasy football, the thing that is supposed to distract me from those things. Such misfortune can’t possibly be the result of my own ineptitude,

Li’l Johnny Saves Christmas, Part One: An entropy-style Christmas Special

Li’l Johnny Saves Christmas, Part One --or, This Is Not the True Meaning of Christmas, Or Even “Saves,” For That Matter-- I. Best Laid Plans   Christmas had come round again, And Johnny was going away He already made excuses to friends For missing Christmas Day.   He’d packed away his sunscreen, He’d bought extra flip-flops Johnny even paid a little extra For the

CrimeBeat!: DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?!?! Edition

Brothers and sisters and those in between, I thank you for joining the DFO congregation on this glorious day. It is a day of hope. It is a day of slacking. It is a day for reflecting upon what depths of inebriation you sank to last weekend in order to

A Greatly Uninformed 2016 Green Bay Packers Preview

Head Coach: Mike McCarthy Key Players:  Aaron Rodgers (QB), Jordy Nelson (WR), Clay Matthews (LB), Eddie Lacy (RB), Julius Peppers (DE) Key Losses/Suspensions:  BJ Raji (DL, retired), Casey Hawyard (CB, San Diego), Demitri Goodson (CB, "Drugs", 4 games). Notable Draft Picks:  Kenny Clark (DT, UCLA), Jason Spriggs (OT, Indiana), Kyler Fackrell (LB, Utah

[DFO] Theogyny: The Feast of the Suspension

[1] Lo, and once every summer, Venus and Jupiter and Rigel III shall come into alignment, [2] an obscure and ancient bell shall toll within in NFL Headquarters, and the Watcher of The Seals [3] shall be shuffleth out of his office with an antiquated boombox bigger than he. [D]