Hiya Kids! Let’s Have a Chat

Hey guys, nice to see all of you random drunks and weirdos again.  It's your old pal, Internet Dad, the original boss around these parts.  How the hell are ya? Anyway, niceties are out of the way, lets talk about some STUFF. I'd like to talk about announcers today. So, many of you

The Home Loan Expert Bracket Challenge

Hey kids, an old pal of Internet Dad's is running a bracket challenge at www.thehomeloanexpert.com - it's free to enter and you can win $10 grand in prizes. There's also a charitable donation page there if you're looking for a good write-off. He's a good dude and his company does

The Damned Reds

Hey guys, we are having an influx of Russians trying to gain access to good old DFO. I'm having to approve by hand, so if you would, after you fill out the joiner form, email me at info@doorfliesopen.com to let me know you aren't going to try to spam our

Important Trump News

Being the president is hard, you guys.  An unqualified moron can't actually do it.  This has been breaking Trump news. http://www.politico.com/story/2017/02/donald-trump-challenges-governing-presidency-234879 Read this and laugh/weep.

IMPORTANT DFO ANNOUNCEMENT

Door Flies Open will be unavailable for a few hours tonight for server maintenance.  I know that we all need it for dick jokes and such, but it should only be down an hour or two at the most.  The outage will start at roughly 12:30 a.m. DFO Time (Central). 

American Kids No Longer a Priority

Betsy DeVos is in charge of educating your kids.  They are no longer a priority to the Republican party.  You can't abort them, can't get welfare after being forced to have them, can't afford the insurance for them, and now you can't educate them properly. GOOD FUCKING LUCK PARENTS

Old Man Begs For Cash

Hey guys, my birthday is next week.  If you've ever wanted to do something nice for old Internet Dad, please think about a donation in DFO's name to Planned Parenthood or the ACLU or any of the awesome organizations working to help people right now.  Or send scotch.