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A Saturday Evening Open Thread

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

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, ,

The title is apropos, since I’m not sure there won’t be a second Open Thread that pops up from some online folder.

As Sharkbait adequately defined, we’ve been having some server issues ’round these parts,

so we thank you all for your patience as we work through them. Internet Dad is doing yeoman’s service behind the scenes trying to get them resolved, and deserves all the thanks in the world for trying to keep us on the air.

I don’t really understand what’s going on. I just try to stay out of the way, submit my pieces, and then passive-aggressively ask “what’s wrong now?” when the thing I don’t know how to fix gets in the way of my minimum involvement in the site’s operations. If [DFO] were an office, I’m the mailroom kid who desperately needs grease for his cart’s wheels in the midst of the building being on fire.

Nonetheless, we’re hoping that things improve steadily during the course of the week, but I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep.

It’s happened to me before.

Tonight’s sports & stuff:

Sports:

  • NHL:
    • Chicago vs Columbus – 7:00pm | NHLN
    • Winnipeg vs Montreal – 7:00pm | Sportsnet / CityTV
    • Ottawa vs Toronto – 7:00pm | CBC
    • Edmonton vs Calgary – 10:00pm | NHLN / CBC / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Toronto vs Cleveland – 7:30pm | Sportsnet360
    • LA Lakers vs Brooklyn – 8:30pm | ABC / TSN4
  • NCAA:
    • Football:
      • Delaware at Delaware St. – 6:00pm | ESPN2
        • A game for scouts looking for a future Flacco.
    • Hockey:
      • NCAA Frozen Four Championship – 7:00pm | ESPN / TSN2
        • St. Cloud State Huskies vs. UMass Minutemen
  • MLB:
    • Angels at Blue Jays – 7:00pm | Sportsnet1
  • Fisticuffs:
    • Joe Smith Jr. vs. Maxim Vlasov – 10:00pm | ESPN
    • Showtime Boxing: Ennis vs. Lipinets – 10:00pm | TSN2

Stuff:

  • SNL – 11:30pm/8:30pm – NBC / Global

It’s a full docket. Hopefully, the site remains viable for us this evening. Your patronage & patience are greatly appreciated. Happy Commenting.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

100 comments? Nature is healing.

Last edited 5 years ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
0
Brick Meathook

Are you people all asleep? I’ve been coked out of my mind for three days straight.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Does that go better with J&J or Moderna?

0
Brick Meathook

It enhanced my J&J

0
Viva La Tabula Raza

Finally had to stop messing with that stuff. When John Entwistle was my age, he had already been dead for five years.

2
blaxabbath

My brother and cousin decided to come stay with me this weekend AFTER understanding my wife is out of town. They just took off to the strip. I’m thinking they didn’t appreciate the VEGAS!!!!! limitations on a father of a two year old flying solo for a few days.

I’m glad to have my night to myself actually.

6
yeah right

That’s a rarity. Enjoy responsibly!

0
Gumbygirl

Wake them up early to go have breakfast. They will appreciate your hospitality!

1
blaxabbath

Ha. I told them the kid’s schedule and there’s no sleeping him in.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Finally trying that Kimchi Sour beer. It’s a little thin and weird but tasty.

1
Sharkbait

That one I’m eager to try

1
litre_cola

Drinking Glenmorangie and listening to The Cure. How you goin?

5
Dunstan

Drinking a Dopplebock and listening to my Blue Rodeo station on Pandora.

0
litre_cola

Balls? Edge of the deep green sea is the best unkown song by The Cure.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

This is true.

But they have a TON of those. I honestly can think of 30 Cure songs off the top of my head that I like. That’s an insane number for a band.

0
Gumbygirl

I am slowly converting Gumby to a Cure fan. I love them, but he was never on board. He’s starting to appreciate their awesomeness, he was singing along to Friday I’m in Love the other day.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Here we go:

Killing an Arab
10:15 Saturday Night
Boys Don’t Cry
Jumping Someone Else’s Train
Play For Today
A Forest
17 Seconds
Primary
Charlotte Sometimes
The Hanging Garden
Let’s Go To Bed
The Walk
The Caterpillar
The Lovecats
Happy The Man
A Few Hours After This
Close To Me
A Man Inside My Mouth
Why Can’t I Be You?
Just Like Heaven
Hot Hot Hot
Plainsong
Pictures Of You
Love Song
Lullaby
Fascination Street
The Same Deep Water As You
Disintegration
Untitled
Open
High
From The Edge Of The Deep Green Sea
Friday I’m In Love
Trust
Cut
To Wish Impossible Things

1
ballsofsteelandfury

I forgot The Exploding Boy!

1
ballsofsteelandfury

And Halo and Burn and Scared As You!

Shit, I’m up to 40!

1
ballsofsteelandfury

In Between Days
Never Enough

1
yeah right

I was driving a cab in San Diego while sleeping on the floor of an apartment in PB and 91X said there was a release of single tickets for a show at the Sports Aroma.

I had a single seat about 14 rows from the stage.

Fuck yes!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Eh6_FFUSg4

3
Sharkbait

Drinking a negroni and watching Ted Lasso again.

3
yeah right

Domestics and Souixsie Sue. So even wavelength.

2
Cecil Rhodes

Enjoying a gin while listening to the finest martial music south of Lake Victoria. ‘Tis a great time to be alive.

Last edited 5 years ago by Cecil Rhodes
0
blaxabbath

So is the site still down?

1
Mr. Ayo

Down to party.

3
Sharkbait

With OPP?

5
ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah you know me!

4
Brocky

night one of wrestlemania was a lot better than expected

comment image

3
Mr. Ayo

Any night with Sasha Banks is a lot better.

2
Mr. Ayo

Jesus.

https://twitter.com/BulletClubIta/status/1381089156227604480

1
Beerguyrob

I don’t recall this young lady’s match.

0
Brick Meathook

Here’s a lo-res rough speed test, but I just had to share the route through the cones I went through today. It all went very smoothly though, I must say.

This is from entry to check-in to vaccination tents to exit.

https://vimeo.com/535398259

4
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s awesome! I know exactly where that is as I got my graduate degree there. I used to park in those lots. Glad to hear everything went well!

1
Mr. Ayo

Hey, Shane, don’t think you’re going to win over your dad after 51 years with this.

But good luck anyway.

1
Beerguyrob

No, but he might get put back into the will. Anything to water down Hornswaggle’s portion.

2
Brick Meathook

Who just got his J&J vaccine?

Me, that’s who!

I have astonishing motion picture footage of the drive-thru process at Cal State University Los Angeles, which I’m generating into a short time-lapse driving film. It might take a day, but I’ll share it. It is amazing.

8
Mr. Ayo

CAN’T WAIT!

2
ArmedandHammered

Got my first today, was amazed at how organized it was, they must not have used NCDOT planners.

4
King Hippo

TRUE HIPPO FACT! I originally wanted to be a traffic engineer, but quickly discovered I was too stupid.

Everyone in law school failed upwards to it.

0
herodotus450

“What if green also meant… stop?”
-Young Hippo

2
Gumbygirl

I saw they had a drive thru one in San Pedro today, next to the USS Iowa. I’m looking forward to your time-lapse, they are always cool!

2
Dunstan

Yeah, mine was in a parking garage. Not quite drive-thru, as you pulled into a parking spot to get checked in, get your shot, and wait out the “let’s see if he passes out” period. But a pretty smooth operation. Probably helped that I had the earliest appointment slot of the day.

1
SonOfSpam

Got mine a few days ago. FEELING INVINCIBLE.

Did not go to LA for it, since it’s dirty and there are scary people there.

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“It’s true, you’ll get stabbed just for wearing any apparel with an American flag on it.” – Fox News

1
Brocky

fuck yeah iohnson club!

worse short term side effects, but only 1 shot.

2
Dunstan

The only side effect I’ve noticed is an insatiable craving for alcohol.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

To build on RTD’s Clue concept, I present to you: Porn Clue

Weapons:
Dildo
Anal Beads
Magic Wand
Butt Plug
Nipple Clamps
Whip
Candle Wax

People:
Blonde MILF (Mrs. Robinson)
Asian Girl (Miss Jade)
Ebony Girl (Miss Chocolate)
Canadian Guy (Colonel North)
Black Guy (Mr. Marcus)
She-Male (Professor Moriarty)

Rooms:
Cauldron
Kitchen
Sex Dungeon
Rubber Room
Bathroom
Bedroom

4
King Hippo

Mr. Marcus! Pretend Everton (then Pretend Man City’s) rampaging “squad player” fullback!

1
Dunstan

No gently-used Fleshlight?

4
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s always the prize!

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This also has potential as a film.

2
Beerguyrob

She’s currently in “Promising Young Woman”,
comment image?w=620&h=360&crop=1

which Twitter tells me is revenge porn for girls people won’t fuck.

3
Mr. Ayo

She seems miscast, in my opinion.

1
ArmedandHammered

Agreed, plenty of guys with a Rainbow Brite fetish would crush that like she was a beer can at a frat party.

0
King Hippo

I am still not over Brocky revealing there was Wednesday Addams-related kink

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

You say that like it’s a bad thing

1
Dunstan

Should have posted this yesterday on his 93rd birthday, but better late than never. Here’s Tom Lehrer with a song about the delights of springtime:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhuMLpdnOjY

1
SonOfSpam

He should be on our money.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Brazilians put artists on their money.

0
Dunstan

The Brits have honored Darwin and Jane Austen, and probably a bunch more non-politicians (and non-monarchs) who I’ve forgotten.

0
Brick Meathook

I like all the portraits on American currency (the only real money). But if they’re going to change one, the new guy should be Neil Armstrong.

0
Gumbygirl

Huh, turns out it’s Kid Cud-ee, like the cows chew, and not King Coo-dee, like he haz cooties. Still don’t know who he is, and I haven’t watched SNL in at least 20 years, but the more you (don’t) know!

1
Mr. Ayo

Surprised by this. My mom told me about him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xzU9Qqdqww

1
Gumbygirl

What a coinkidink, this is what he told me about your mom!

8
Mr. Ayo

I meant everyone’s response here, not just yours.

But well done. (Also what he said about her obviously)

1
Gumbygirl

I’m just messing with you. Your mom isn’t actually banging Sesame Street characters! Everyone knows they all have teh gay!

2
Mr. Ayo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrDfSZ_6f4U

0
Mr. Ayo

Really like this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrDfSZ_6f4U

0
King Hippo

I see the bow tie, and am all liek – Black Republican or Nation of Islam?

0
Mr. Ayo

He’s from Cleveland if that informs your guess.

0
King Hippo

Very Sad #ThePauls supporter, then

1
ArmedandHammered

So he always dresses like everyday is a funeral?

3
King Hippo

assam alego, homey

1
Brocky

so i got my shot Thursday, and people at work are complaining that they signed up too late for an earlier dosage. apparently its my fault they don’t know how to use the website

2
Mr. Ayo

This NASCAR anthem was something else.

Literally, it was not the anthem.

1
Brocky

🎵the election was rigged, Joe has dementia🎵

5
LemonJello

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxHnXajIex4

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So I had an idea when I woke up this morning about a board game vaguely similar to Clue but instead the setting is a mental asylum and the characters are types of patients – a sociopath, an extra chromosome-having fellow, a paranoid schizophrenic…no idea how the actual gameplay works, but the rooms would be things like the electroshock therapy room, the water therapy room, the rubber room, etc.

Alternately, it could be a video game – Angry Birds: Cuckoo’s Nest.

3
herodotus450

One guy is legitimately sane but no one believes him.

1
Mr. Ayo

This is a good Among Us tie in.

1
Brocky

so basically you’re describing one of those gimmick versions of clue with the characters replaced with a particular pop culture subject?

like there’s regular monopoly and Simpson’s monopoly. there’s regular clue, and Simpson’s clue.

the idea has potential, but it would need more to just not simply be a cut and paste job

1
King Hippo

My dark/million dollar idea was to re-boot Quantum Leap – but this time, Scott Bakula has to rape a cacophony of history’s worst monsters (Idi Amin, Pinochet, MRSA Dreamboat, etc.)

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sounds different, but neat!

0
Dunstan

Oh yeah, wasn’t suggesting your idea had been done. I just figured someone must have done an asylum-themed game of some kind.

0
Dunstan

Decided to make extra sandwiches and store them in the fridge for tomorrow.

1
LemonJello

*visible confusion at concept of “extra” sandwiches intensifies*
comment image

6
Dunstan

I couldn’t decide whether to be annoyed by the MAGA protest I drove by today, or laugh at how small it was.

I’m thinking laughter was the right call.

4
Mr. Ayo

We also have Wrestlemania (all times Pacific)

17:00 Wrestlemania 37 Night 1

1
Mr. Ayo

We also have NASCAR (all times Pacific)

(Whenever the rain decides to fuck off) NASCAR Cup Series – Martinville

1
Mr. Ayo

Oh fuck me, Wrestlemania is under a weather delay too.

Last edited 5 years ago by Mr. Ayo
1
Dunstan

Well, you never know when Hulkamania is gonna come raining down on you.

/only knows 30-year-old references in wrestling
//or music

7
LemonJello

comment image

3
Brocky

assuming you don’t know, hogan was there giving a promo

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Was he promoting that new media property that he owns?
comment image

1
Brocky

comment image?ts=1458663344

2
King Hippo

FOAR teh record, I have no idea who Carey Mulligan or Kid Cudi are.

git off-a mah lawn

1
Dunstan

Can’t believe you don’t remember that Carey played Sally Sparrow on one of the best Doctor Who episodes.

/nerd rage builds

0
herodotus450

She’s the girl from Blink? woooow.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

We also have AFL (all times Pacific)

8:10 PM – North Melbourne v Adelaide
10:10 PM – Melbourne v Geelong
11:40 PM – Fremantle v Hawthorn

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s what happens when they don’t soak the cork enough.

1
herodotus450

You gotta lube the cork properly before shoving it in there, or else it ruins the whole experience.

1
King Hippo

but enough about the newly-available Queen’s pussy!

2
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