Sábado de Lesser Bloodlust

My apologies for the late posting, but it happened again last night. [Ed. Note: REDACTED ON ADVICE OF COUNSEL] Sigh. In retrospect, I’m not proud of it, but I’ll be damned if I fail to mention when drunkenness turns out to be an asset. tWBS would’ve been proud of me

/pours second morning coffee

Anyway, Hippo’s off this morning. Pretend Man City had an easement snag on a new stadium and Football Manager’s zoning AI is a real taskmaster, I hear. Good luck with the pretend civil planning board, Mr. Gilkey.

All times Central

EPL

Man City (1^st) v Leeds United (9^th) – 6:30

City’s magic number is 10 points (Source: proprietary junk science). I root for Leeds because Marcelo Bielsa. He is known as El Loco and I read that the first time he was a coach in Argentina, ultras went to his house to riot after a poor showing. Bielsa came out to meet the fans and defused the situation by talking while holding a grenade.

Marcelo couldn’t be more lovable in my eyes.

Liverpool (7^th) v Aston Villa (10^th) – 9:00

I got to see Liverpool’s Shempiens match against Real Madrid this week, an entertaining game due to the LIV’s cheese cloth defense. Virgil Van Dijk is putting together an MVP case as strong as Peyton Manning that year when he missed the whole season and the Clots tanked for Luck.

Crystal Palace (13^th) v Chelsea (5^th) – 11:30

Chelski is still riding high under Thomas Tuchel. He’s been less rigoUrous with shaving of late, but I’m glad to say he still looks like a perfect nerd.

Palace is still coached by human Gerald Scarfe caricature Roy Hodgson.

I don’t trust that guy.

Tomorrow Notables:

NOW BURNLEY FREE

Hammers (4^th) v. Lester (3^rd)  – 8

The Ham of the West’s dream season marches on. Lester can go fly a kite.

Spurs (6^th) v Man U (2^nd) – 10:30

The Edinson Cavani Man U Experiment has been a flop. He wants to play for Boca Juniors in Argentina next season, which is like changing a Rolls for a Toyota. Not that it needs mentioning, but England ain’t for everybody.

Knifey (27^th) v Arse (11^th) – 13:00

I’d rather watch “Friends”, the extra-whiny Ross episodes.

And finally, today is El Clásico:

Real Madrid (3^rd) v Barcelona (2^nd) – 2 PM

Spain’s Old Firm is on this afternoon. The top three teams in La Liga are separated by only three points, with leader Atlético Madrid relieved from European and domestic cup competition. I’m rooting for blood in this one. Now that Klopp is a joke, this one’s far Teh Hippo