NFL Noise:
- The Bengals are apparently the last team to create a Ring of Honor of some type in their stadium.
- The first inductees will be Paul Brown & Anthony Munoz.
- Fans will vote on the next two inductees this season.
- Knowing the good folks of the Queen City, the winners will be Ickey Woods and the snowballs Sam Wyche was yelling at.
- JuJu Smith-Schuster says he would have signed with the Chiefs had he not re-signed with the Steelers.
- Uh huh. And I would have married Kathy Ireland had my wife not said “yes” when I proposed.
- He cites Andy Reid texting him “Lombardi trophy photos” as evidence.
- Kathy Ireland totally texted me photos too. In 1998. That’s why I don’t have them any more.
- In a move sure to go over well in the court of public opinion, Deshaun Watson’s lawyer has asked the court to force one of the Jane Doe accusers to replead under her real name.
- His lawyer, Rusty Hardin, is arguing the point that “Texas law does not permit Ms. Doe to file her civil claims using a pseudonym.”
- Here’s the lawyer-y quote: “While I understand that anonymity often is used as a shield for victims, Mr. Buzbee is using it as a sword.”
- The best example I could find actually bolsters his argument.
- Topheavy Studios, Inc. v. Doe, No. 03-05-00022-CV, 2005 WL 1940159 (Tex. App. 2005) – yup; that’d be porn. (A topless dance contest, to be precise.)
- Denying appeal of grant of pseudonym under Tex. Civ. Prac. & Rem.Code Ann. § 51.014 (West Supp. 2004-05).
- The order specifically allowed for full discovery and stated that Doe’s true name may be used in depositions and in the investigation of the case as long as her name was given to only those individuals who must know her name in order to fully participate in the investigation.
- Essentially, the order only prevented the disclosure of Doe’s true name to the media or in any public forum.
- Topheavy Studios, Inc. v. Doe, No. 03-05-00022-CV, 2005 WL 1940159 (Tex. App. 2005) – yup; that’d be porn. (A topless dance contest, to be precise.)
- If this were a criminal case, the court could still allow her to be a “Doe” accuser but have to provide her name to the defense, under Chapter 58 of the Texas Code of Criminal Procedure.
- There is a specific pseudonym form that has to be filed out.
- But since this is a civil case, the same protections – Watson’s lawyer posits – should not apply.
- Especially since two of his accusers have now gone public.
- The hearing is scheduled for Friday at noon ET.
- His lawyer, Rusty Hardin, is arguing the point that “Texas law does not permit Ms. Doe to file her civil claims using a pseudonym.”
That was a fun little bit of research that didn’t make me feel dirty at all.
I’m going to bed early tonight, as my beloved IPL T20 cricket begins tomorrow morning bright & early.
Unlike last year when it took place in the UAE, it’s returning to India for 2021. They will be using a rotating bubble to host the games. The bubble cities to start are Mumbai (fka Bombay) & Chennai (fka Madras), and then they will switch after 18 games are played, so each host city will get to host at least nine games each. As usual, there are eight teams,
of 25 players made up of local rostered talent, Indian free agent talent, and up to eight designated import players. (The active game day roster of 11 can have a maximum of four import players in the field.) They too have a salary cap, and in February they held the “player auction”, where all teams have a set budget and then fill out their rosters based on who is available for purchase.
The first match is the defending champion Mumbai Indians (not racist) taking on the Royal Challengers Bangalore. The schedule is here if you need it, and in North America is being broadcast on Willow TV, an all-cricket cable channel catering to the Indian diaspora in North America. I can’t wait.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- all games are regional broadcasts only
- NBA:
- LA Lakers vs Miami – 7:30pm | TNT / SportsnetNow (online)
- Bulls vs. Raptors – 7:30pm | TSN4
- Phoenix vs LA Clippers – 10:00pm | TNT / Sportsnet360
- MLB:
- LA Angels at Toronto – 7:00pm | MLBN / Sportsnet
- Futbol:
- CONCACAF Champions League:
- Columbus Crew at Real Esteli FC – 8:00pm | FS1
- CF Monterrey at Club Atletico Pantoja – 10:00pm | FS1
- CONCACAF Champions League:
- Wrasslin’:
- WWE NXT TakeOver: Stand & Deliver Pt.2 – 8:00pm | Peacock / USA / Sportsnet360
Balls has got you tomorrow night – only sinners, no saints – and I’ll be back with something this weekend. Keep the server in your thoughts & prayers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IS2Fs2nGOl0
To answer the question: baseball is absolutely Lesser Cricket.
Is there a historical relationship between the two, or is the resemblance merely cosmetic?
Like football was born from rugby, baseball was born from cricket.
Agreed.
https://twitter.com/RealKentMurphy/status/1214612584432906240
Third time this evening?
Here’s the second one. The first one wasn’t caught on tape apparently.
https://twitter.com/BBL/status/1214489627752452096
Here’s another example.
https://twitter.com/peteydavis/status/1163090306088284161
I love the announcer cracking up.
They really do make this great.
Nominees for the Bengals Ring of Honor:
Ken Anderson
Kijana Carter’s Agent
The Who Dey Tiger
The first BenGal
Boomer Esiason (lol)
Ochocinco’s Car Boat
Carl Pickens
And then they’ll just end up putting Cris Collinsworth in there while he and his son cry on tv and use the tears as lube
Bill Walsh
Pontiac Silverdome Turf
Greg Cook’s Throwing Shoulder
Kimo von Oelhoffen
Marvin Lewis’ Halftime Adjustments
David Klingler’s PTSD
Cincinnati Bengals’ Scouting Department
Stanley Wilson’s Accountabilibuddy for the Week of Super Bowl XXIII
Joe Burrow’s Future
and of course Hamilton County for the most undeserving one-sided stadium deal ever!
Joe Exotic
Chili On Spaghetti No Really!
Added a couple days to my Skopje visit, might try to check out Lake Ohrid, which is apparently the oldest lake in Europe. Will see how long it takes before it yells at me to get off its shorline
Don’t forget the onion on your belt!
People are tweeting RIP DMX and I’m like, we shouldn’t rip the guy, he could die soon.
That’s not even the fun part. Take a look at why Squirtle is trending. Now that is some top notch DFO material!
Goth lady on Jeopardy, and her interesting story is that her husband took her last name.
Honestly, is that a thing at all? I’m old, but I really haven’t heard that.
It happens, but not super common.
Ok thanks, not against it per se, but it seems like an odd thing to have as your main brag-story on a game show.
Shit. I do sound like an old man who can’t handle change. Sorry.
We’re no longer a patrilineal clan based society, so there’s no practical reason for any particular surname. It’s a PITA to change names so I’m not really sure why anyone does it anymore
Before we got married, I told my wife I didn’t care what she did, but her reasoning was “Eh, it’s easier if we have the same name” but that was back in ancient times (the 90s). I get keeping your last name, and I get the tradition thing, even though it does kinda sorta imply some kind of ownership.
I guess the caveman part of me just can’t imagine changing my name. But then I’ll be dead and irrelevant soon.
Proposed Solution: Either both persons add the other’s surname as an additional middle name
William Jefferson Rodham Clinton
Hillary Diane Clinton Rodham
or if they choose to have one surname, the both add the maiden name as an additional middle name.
William Jefferson Rodham Clinton
Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton
Fun fact: In Spanish-speaking families, we get the whole family tree in the name PLUS there is an added “de” to indicate marriage.
Example: Josefina Elena Marquez Rodriguez de Ramirez.
You get this in Arabic too, if you have less than 7 names you’re probably illegitimate
lol yeah, I’ve known Spanish-speaking women who have many many many names and it’s kinda awesome.
Woke Female: “I am not going to change my name. I am not a possession!”
Español Femenino: “¡Quiero todos los apellidos!
I went from a fairly common one syllable name to Gumby’s , which has three, and is always mispronounced/misspelled, sometimes hilariously. Our default move is to say it, then start spelling. It’s just what you did back then, I never really cared one way or the other. His sister took her wife’s common last name, which pissed their dad off, for many reasons (he’s old, and verrrry conservative, so the whole lesbian thing was a real mind blower for him.)
I’m far too lazy to ever change my name, but if I did I would go with something awesome, like “Max Power” or “Chesty La Rue”
My friend Nancy and I decided on old fashioned hooker names one drunken night long ago. Mine was Trixie something, and I think hers was Roz, but we were quite intoxicated and neither of us can remember. We do remember insisting that everyone call us that, and we ended up falling into an azalea bush in her yard.
Ugh. I can handle being dragged kicking and screaming into a more enlightened person, but now I have to eat Pita bread, too?!
I knew I should’ve voted for Trump!
Well, pita bread is delicious, especially with hummus for dipping.
I’ve had some delicious pita chips recently!
…but it falls apart when I fill it, so I either have to have a pita with very little stuff or a salad with very little lettuce and way too much bread.
Don’t fill it, just warm it and dip in hummus.
Sandwiches should always be on sourdough or rye or why even bother.
Counterpoint, rye sucks ass.
(sigh)
Corned beef, mustard, pickles, Swiss cheese, and it’s a perfect sandwich.
Trying to mask its terrible taste with even worse tasting meat is a bold strategy I will not pursue.
Welp, found the Russian.
…or a wrap. Its a sandwiched dressed as a burrito.
You’re totally missing out on both the taco approach and the crouton approach
“No matter what, it’s a sandwich!”
– Maestro
It wouldn’t surprise me. Its the same people that say “assigned at birth” instead of “born male/female/other” and equate whoever uses the latter as irredeemable monsters.
If I move to Korea to start an acting career, I would totally do that.
Ahem, did I say “if”? I meant “when”.
I was only going to have one glass of wine since waking up early to do exercise related moving around of heavy things, but also planning not to drink for the next couple of days in anticipation of 2nd dose vacccine side effects, and I don’t really want to leave a bottle open and oxidizing…
You should finish the bottle then have another so the first one doesn’t get gut-lonely.
Checks out.
Penalty shots in hockey (and by extension shootout attempts) should have a shot clock, like 7 seconds. Get this goddern “dangling” out of my hocke!
Public Service Announcement: if you’re paying for sex with Venmo, remember to set your account to private.
Matt Gaetz Paid Accused Sex Trafficker Joel Greenberg, Who Then Venmo’d Teen (thedailybeast.com)
I mean, you should probably set your account to private even if you’re paying for mundane things like dinner or socks
Yeah, I just double-checked. It’s weird that there’s even an option to make it public.
I think public is the default, they had some weird idea of payments meet social networks
Nice job to the Bengals for the Ring of Honor. My money is on Ken Anderson and Ken Riley, as those are the two guys the Bengals and their fans feel are getting the shaft by the Hall of Fame (and in Riley’s case, the NFL in general).
Now on to the great debate of Style over Substance.
Tempted to start 4th wave ska band just to use this as album cover. I can play bass, who else is in?
If properly liquored, I can be the dancing guy who does nothing else onstage.
That’s a key role
And he always wears a hat, for some reason!
Well I guess we’re gonna have two bassists, nobody’s ever done that before eh?
I can provide the cowbell.
I will be the guy who gets the drugs.
Sam Wyche… I really really liked that guy. He’s the Nicola Tesla of the NFL.
Oh great, the Wyche supremacists are taking over DFO now
(grabs the house mic)
“Will the next person that sees anybody use Washington Football Team’s old name, point him out, and we’ll get him out of here! YOU DON’T COMMENT ON UPROXX; YOU COMMENT ON DOOR FLIES OPEN!!!”
I used to get Willow for some reason and it was awesome. The guy who got me promoted is from Punjab and due to being a white guy who knows cricket and does a good jerb the knowledge helped.
I just checked. Will have to watch an illegal stream.
Wow, saw some new and different error screens while trying to get on board this evening!
drove into the city and got my first shot, Pfizer, whole operation run by UT Health Science Center at a 60 year old mall. Run very well, I was in and out in 15 monutes.
More importantly, I went by my buddy’s house and brought home a cornucopia of edibles and some puff too. Productive day!!!
Nice! And the sweet buzz will surely enhance the overall feeling.
Finally made it in after a million (might be exaggerating) refreshes.
So, does anyone like…stuff?
I like things.
I’m more of a services and objects guy.
Then let me interest you in my new take on edible arrangements that offers both services and objects.
Hmm, I was gonna root for the Punjab Kings, but the existence of the Chennai Super Kings is making me think twice.
The Punjab Kings used to be the Punjab Kings 11, which made them sound like the Super Friends or the Scooby Doobies.
Hue Jackson will be put in the ROH next year, maybe. Despite losing with a shitty team all around him, he never gave up. That is true grit.
“‘Maybe’ – that’s my word!”
— Jeff Fisher