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"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio

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One Million Comments on This Little Site

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

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One.

MILLION.

Comments.

This site was literally a side project I created when UPROXX destroyed the wonderful Kissing Suzy Kolber. Most of the original users of the site were transplants from there after they short-changed authors and shoehorned in sponsored posts, to the detriment of the overall quality.

We needed a new place to go, and I’d never built my own WordPress site, so I decided to put together a little site on my company’s server.

TERRIBLE IDEA.

You guys showed up in droves after people started posting the link on Reddit and Twitter, and I managed to crash our company server for the Thursday opener, which you guys were SUPER patient about.

We found alternative hosting, rebuilt the thing from scratch, and have been live most of the time ever since.

One thing about this site that I was always proud of is that we made it the opposite of what KSK had become, and I was DETERMINED to not take a penny for the site from advertisers or user data or anything, and we stuck to that. We have no ads and the site continues to be not only non-revenue generating, but also an actual financial drain on the folks that own it.

We have had our trials and tribulations on this site. We’ve had disagreements and falling-outs among the writers and commenters. It’s been a wild ride to one million comments, and I’m so glad that the little side project I built has evolved into a place where friends are made and relationships have been built among strangers.

I love you guys, I really do. Here’s to another ad-free million comments on this goofy, occasionally busted little site.

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blaxabbath

Hey!

If I wanted to see a million comments, I would have just looked at Mark Meadows’ phone records from January 6th.

1
BugEyedBoo

Not much to say. If you all don’t already know you’re awesome, you should.

Last edited 3 years ago by BugEyedBoo
6
Redshirt

Part of the reason why the Bengals’ Cinderella Run last year enjoyable for me was this site and most of you all enjoying our unexpected, overdue time in the sun. And I thank you for that.

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
6
blaxabbath

We can never take that SB title away from you.

2
Don T

The Heiress and I finally put our Xmas tree. We put the manger on a classic 4-4-2, which can convert for defense and counters into a 5-3-1-1. The cow drops on the left to support the 3 Wise Men, with the angel releasing on counters, while on the right the donkey comes up the right wing linking with Our Lord and Savior, who feeds the marauding soldier.
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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s awesome!

2
Horatio Cornblower

The Savior’s striking just hasn’t been to same since those horrific foot injuries.

7
Gumbygirl

Nailed it!

5
Senor Weaselo

I would have thought Christ would be the keeper.

Yes, because Jesus saves.

3
scotchnaut

This place is a delicious breath of fresh air and you guys won’t stop giving me +1’s and I really need the positive reinforcement.

7
blaxabbath

Cold weather question:

It seems like all the good stew/soup recipes are either cream based or basically gravy. I don’t want to waste these precious few cold weather meals I have ahead of me here.

What recipies do you all like for winter soup/stew (no chili)?

2
LemonJello

French Onion.

4
Sharkbait

I do a potato leek soup with homemade turkey stock from Thanksgiving that I freeze. https://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-jacques-pepins-rustic-leek-and-potato-soup-223883

Or J. Kenji Lopez’s onion soup recipe (time consuming but its so good)

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Italian sausage soup is always a good one.

3
ArmedandHammered

Vegetable Beef, not sure if soup/stew but Chicken and Dumplings

1
King Hippo

Two large cans of tomato sauce (as plain as can be). 2.5-3 pound chuck roast. Shake oregano and crushed red pepper on top of the meat, before adding the 2nd can of sauce to the crock pot.

Cook on low setting for like 9-10 hours. Start early, or the smell will drive you mad.

2
Gumbygirl

I made one the other day with carrots, onions, sundried tomatoes, chicken, spinach, a can of white beans, and some veggie stock. I put a drizzle of olive oil and some grated parm to finish.

1
yeah right

I did a Sunday Gravy last year with a vegan Southwest soup that I still eat every 3 weeks or so. It’s fantastic.

3
blaxabbath

Your stuff isn’t amateur!

2
SonOfSpam

Ham and bean…and ham is generally cheap right now.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

FLASH CHALLENGE! Without looking it up, what is the first city name you can think of with four or fewer letters?

The first one that came to mind for me was “Bath”.

1
Mr. Ayo

Reno

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s a good, proper, AMERICAN answer.

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Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well the SECOND one I can think of would be Hilo.

0
blaxabbath

Eloy

0
blaxabbath

Is USA Japan a real place?

0
LemonJello

Ur.

/throws lunch money on the ground and runs away

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Reno

0
LemonJello

Is that where the Blair Witch is?

5
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, the man asked what was first to mind, so I responded without scrolling.

If you need a THIRD, then Zion.

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Ajax

1
Gumbygirl

Taos.

1
Sharkbait

Ayer

0
King Hippo

Apex. Because I live there.

1
yeah right

Weed. In the San Joaquin valley.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I still think “Weed University” would make a great t-shirt for the town to sell to tourists.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Lyon

0
Horatio Cornblower

Oahu

1
Horatio Cornblower

Full disclosure I couldn’t think of any until someone said Hilo, and I thought Oahu.

2
Gumbygirl

My SIL is eating a piece of apple pie

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If I wasn’t quarantined inside of the guest room I’d go into the office and photoshop Andy Reid’s face into that picture.

4
blaxabbath

“Be the man around there! Make her quarantine from you!”

R. Rice

2
ArmedandHammered

Tell her to put some hepa filters into all the vacuums, that way she is constantly filtering the air so you can exit your durance vile.

2
ArmedandHammered

Thank you guys for creating and maintaining this wonderful corner of the web (where the weird insects are stored), having this site to come to for real kommedy and komradeship has been extremely helpful to my continued mental health.

9
Gumbygirl

.

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ArmedandHammered

Still trying to figure what this is, it looks like a mask of Duckman with the Ducktail hairstyle from the 50’s.

1
Gumbygirl

I was thinking Polynesian.

1
blaxabbath

Who needs ads when login in at DFO means…

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wonder if any other site on the internet can lay claim to having hosted over one million dick jokes.

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Houston 500 hangs their head in shame

2
Don T

DFO is also close to lasting longer than KSK #JustSayin

7
Gumbygirl

I am eternally grareful I wandered in here, shivering and forlorn, from the sinking ship USS Deadspin (U Suck Spanfeller) This place has been a refuge, you guys will never know how badly I needed this. Well, actually, you DO know, because I whine on here all the damn time! Thank you unironically for your service, if I had any money I’d be throwing it at you, like a caged monkey flinging it’s poop!

13
SonOfSpam

Spanfeller is an herb.

1
Horatio Cornblower

You’re our favorite, don’t tell…well shit, I guess we all already know.

5
Gumbygirl

.

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Don T

Stop* offering money!

  • DM me about
5
Gumbygirl

.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– the NFL’s competition committee to the Raiders

1
Gumbygirl

Just kidding Don T, you are mi favorito, don’t tell los otros!

2
Horatio Cornblower

Friend just offered us a free week in the Virgin Islands at a place he can’t use.

It’s the week after the one I already put in for vacation.

Looks like I may be taking my first two weeks off from work that didn’t involve getting fired in better than 35 years.

Related, who knows anything fun to do in St. John’s?

11
SonOfSpam

Rum

SOME RUM RUM RUM RUM

HA NOW YOU’RE ELIMINATED FROM DRUMMER BOY THING

5
Horatio Cornblower

Sadly I cannot stand* rum. This severely limits my Caribbean drinking options.

*the taste is great, but the sugar content is so high that I inevitably wind up with a killer hangover. “Why not limit yourself to one drink?” you ask, to which I respond “Why don’t you shut up?”

Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
3
SonOfSpam

Counterpoint: In a well-mixed tropical drink, you don’t even taste the rum until it flies back up.

5
Gumbygirl

Mmmm, delicious vomit!

1
Don T

Informed counterpoint: There’s lotsa non-rum drank made in El Caribe. Leatherneck brewery, Ocean Lab brewery, Mutiny breadfruit vodka (star star star star 1/2), our breadfruit vodka, plus moonshines of all varieties, including legal.

2
SonOfSpam

Hang out with Felipe Lopez?

0
Gumbygirl

Don’t buy drugs from the guy on the beach.

0
Horatio Cornblower

I said “fun”

0
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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SonOfSpam

The T-Shirt of Turin?

4
blaxabbath

No I don’t but I’d love to hear more on this trip.

0
Don T

Flight / boat to PR

3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

find the wort?

1
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Beach. More beach. Try not to feel crippling white guilt. Get hit in the face by a school of fish (yes, this happened)

2
King Hippo

My kid is going to Englen with her boo over Xmas (he gots family thar). They will be in South London, so looking to maybe go to Palace (home to Mighty Whitey). Am jelly!

8
Gumbygirl

Maybe she will marry the pasty fella, and you will have wee Hippograndspawn you can make a pilgrimage to Everton with!

3
Horatio Cornblower

Ooh, could we have two DFOers with connection to European royalty!?

5
Gumbygirl

My aunt did the family tree a few years back. We are, in fact, descendants of Brian Boru. Along with a zillion others, but hey, an actual king!

2
LemonJello

Did someone say Billy Baroo?

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4
Gumbygirl

BillyBillyBillyBilly!

1
King Hippo

Oh, I will ABSOLUTELY Evertonian brainwash any such HippoGrandSPAWN. Given that pasty (totes accurate!) Englishman dad is a filthy Redshite supporter.

4
Don T

Liverpool relatives by marriage is your penance for hating on Messi.
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5
Don T

Funniest and smartest corner of the Webz, hands down. Total thanks, DTZM, and rope Beerguyrob back if you get to see him.

6
Senor Weaselo

We need some sort of song for it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSz1L3ni_4E

3
SonOfSpam

Thanks for everything Internet Dad.

You have done much more for me than my bio dad. (This is actually true.)

Love all y’all!

10
blaxabbath

You’re definitely funny enough that I figured your pops did you dirty too.

2
Downfield Matriculator

Kudos from another veteran mostly lurker occasional commenter at KSK who lasted until Tunison essentially pulled the plug. Wondered where everyone went after closing time and found you all over here. Thank you, DTZM, and thanks to all of the posters/admins and other gerbils running around in wheels to keep the lights on. This is one of the few places on the internet that has not gone to hell in a handbasket and so kudos for keeping sportsball kommentary, many life hacks and history and knowledge posts, and of course, generalized dick jokery alive and well. I’m here for the next 1,000,000 comments. Rock on with your bad selves!

Last edited 3 years ago by Downfield Matriculator
10
BeefReeferLives

& in other news, here’s another post on the way to 2,000,000.

“Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi told players of his Monza soccer team he would bring them a bus full of prostitutes if they managed to beat a top Serie A rival, a video published on social media showed on Wednesday.”

“Been there, Done that”
-Rex Ryan

https://www.reuters.com/lifestyle/sports/soccer-italys-berlusconi-promises-prostitutes-if-monza-players-win-2022-12-14/

7
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Balls made the same commitment for if we hit 5 million comments

6
BugEyedBoo

Why not us? They did it for these guys.

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2Pack

The Dude is serious. And he certainly knows his way around hookers.

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1
BeefReeferLives

& Many Thanks, Internet Dad, for maintaining this lil refuge of goofiness, NFL tawkin’, & dick jokes.

5
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

comments instead of dollars
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3
2Pack

Sir, thank you and all the admins for what you do here for us. I was a long time lurker on KSK. Watched that crash and burn, then came over here to lurk some more. Tried to open an account but had IT issues (not your doing, my clumsy assumption that the dot mil domain would be cool with our chit) until Beerguy Rob reached out and got me tracking. I enjoy the content and people. Thanks so much for what you all do. And as far as the out of pocket costs go, I would be happy to help offset some of that. If you PM me with how I could contribute I would make it rain… well not really “rain” but seriously I am ready to help out. The joint is well worth it, for the bowling tips alone.

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Horatio Cornblower

Don’t let them fool you, 2Pack. My wife and I met the estimable Don T. in New Haven and gave him an entire roll of paper towels, (I think BFC may have instigated this to give credit where it is due), so at least he is wealthy beyond measure as a result of this site.

Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
9
Don T

Scott paper towels. I had them appraised! Cheap bastards
/kicks chair

8
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

those shoes shouldn’t be used for bowling

2
2Pack

Nawt even looking at her shoes…

2
yeah right

It’s been a hell of a ride. Had no idea what to expect when this all started and now?

I still have no idea what to expect. It’s been a blast.

8
The Maestro

INTERNET DAD! You came back after getting cigarettes! Oh my God, I missed you so much —

/goes in for the hug
//reaches around to DTZM’s back pocket to swipe the pack of smokes
///runs away

8
Horatio Cornblower

A cigarette is a measure of tobacco surrounded by a consumable wrapper, and too many of them aren’t good for you. It is, in short, a sandwich.

7
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yet another example of why we have an option to downvote

2
Horatio Cornblower

So we do.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If it’s only a single wrapper that means it’s a taco.

4
WCS

THIN MINTS

/is the weird one who prefers the shortbread

2
The Maestro

That is correct. I have trained you well.

4
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Thanks, DTZM, for all the fish and webhosting work!

4
King Hippo

Whoever gets to One BILLION gets one of Dad’s smokes and a pat on the head!

9
yeah right

Smoke up, Johnny Boy!

4
Horatio Cornblower

I will gladly donate my $12 in stock to any owners facing hard times.

/does not actually know where that stock is.

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s crypto stock. So if you’re trying to figure out where it is, it’s, like, on the blockchain, man.

4
Horatio Cornblower

I’ll just ask my good friend Sam Bankman Fried to help me. When has he ever steered anyone wrong?

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Let me just run that by the head of our “steering wrong” department. I’ll see if he’s in his office.

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3
WCS

WE HEART YOU INTERWEBZ DAD

7
ballsofsteelandfury

Balls: I’ve got that Pornhub sponsorship!!

/ reads post

Balls: Never mind!

Seriously, y’all would be surprised at the offers we get and politely turn down.

11
blaxabbath

I’d read a post about this.

3
Horatio Cornblower

Oh yeah, absolutely!

0
Sharkbait

actual financial drain on the folks that own it

Elon Musk owns DFO??

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