Your 2018 Cleveland Browns Season Preview

So,  true story, I was joking around about how I'd draw the short straw and do the Cleveland Browns season preview and instead turn it into an AFL finals preview and before I knew it,  I had actually been assigned the Browns! That should teach me to keep my mouth shut. Now,

Your completely biased Lesser footy EPL preview.

Those were my seats the last time that I saw premier league football live at Craven Cottage.   It's that time of year again commentists, futbol is kicking off! I'm aware that Mr. Balls and others dislike the EPL but it's what's on my teevee on Saturdays and the good La Liga

World Cup Reflection: A round table discussion of what has happened so far

Inside an empty DFO boardroom, the door flies open In walks Downton Abbey actor, Jim Carter, wearing his traditional Carson outfit Carter: All rise for the current fantasy DFO World Cup of Lesser footy leader. . . as of July 5th, 2018, Master, Wakezilla. In walks the King amongst men, Wakezilla. Wakezilla

World Cup 2018 Japan Preview: A Monstrous Mess

Japan is a really cool country that everyone should visit in their lifetime because it has just about everything a person can ask for. It's an ancient culture that is on the cutting age of technology. And they have a ton of weird shit--including sea creatures that eat from their ass.

2018 World Cup Team Preview – Colombia

Quite a few of us resident DFO Lesser Footy enthusiasts have Colombia as our sleeper of the tourney. Therefore, we've decided to split up the preview amongst us, roundtable style. Without further ado, *** Balls Colombia invented the butt-lift jeans.  Seriously. Some places call them "levantapompis" or "magicola". Just know that if you see any

World Cup 2018 Team Preview – Belgium

Ah, the misty water colour memmmmmories....Belgium gives Hippo all the feels.  Big Rom and Roberto Martinez, together again?  It's the last really hopeful period in Everton Lesser Footy history (before Martinez' fatal flaw at the EPL level - defensive indifference - kicked in, along with many, many defeats in the dying

World Cup 2018 Team Preview – Sweden

Whatever happened to the Swedish Bikini Team? I mean,  yeah,  they were really American models that were put together for an Old Milwaukee advertising campaign in the early 90s, but still... The eternal question remains: how hot are real Swedish girls? Um, yeah... so the answer is VERY. But this is a World Cup

2018 Copa Mundial Team Preview – México

As I type this,  México is playing Scotland in a friendly match in the Despedida for El Tri. The French would call it the Au Revoir or Bon Voyage game.  It has become tradition to play a last friendly before the World Cup at home to wish the players good

World Cup 2018 South Korea Preview: So you’re saying there’s a chance

*Scene opens to a pitch black room. All you can see is black and the sounds of an older man grunting* Old Man breathing heavily: Oh yeah, that little black dress is getting a little uncomfortable. Take it off, baby. *The sound of pumping Vaseline can be heard* OM: Oh yeah, almost there,

World Cup 2018 Croatia Preview: It feels a little like ’98

It seems like yesterday when I was a kid watching Croatia make their World Cup debut in 1998. I remember thinking their checkered jerseys were cool. Combine those sweet uniforms with Davor Šuker's cheeky skills and I was rooting for Croatia during their magical 3rd place finish. I think there is a great

World Cup 2018 Team Preview – Denmark

As I'm typing this, a delicious slice of Danish kringle is settling in my stomach.  The Danish kringle is the State Dessert of Wisconsin, don'tchaknow? How is that possible?  Also, how is it that couples all across Los Angeles go to Solvang as their weekend-getaway/let's go bang for the weekend and see