From Darkness Retreat to Bright Lights: Your 2023 Jets Preview

Senor Weaselo - August 23, 2023August 23, 2023

"The Jets do not play football. Football just sort of happens to them." -Jon Bois It's one of the great ironies that the team responsible for arguably the most influential game in NFL history has followed it up by being among the class of the NFL—wait, sorry, there was a smudge—among

Okay, When Do We Get to the Prometheus Bit? (Jets at the Bye)

Senor Weaselo - November 20, 2022November 19, 2022

The New York Jets are a cromulent football team. That enough is a shock. The New York Jets are a competent football team. Bigger shock. The New York Jets are currently in a playoff position and enter this game a half-game behind Miami for the AFC East lead. All right, hold up…

NFL Speakeasy Stories: 400 gon

blaxabbath - January 4, 2016January 1, 2016

When there is nowhere else to go.... Angel’s Share, East Village. 2:47 am, January 4th, 2016 The reverberation of the celebratory fireworks subsided 45 minutes ago. The final revelers exited 30 minutes ago. And the house lights would shut themselves down in 3...2... "One...And click." His voice echoed. Tonight would be the same as every since

TURDSDAY NIGHT FOOT FETISH

WCS - November 12, 2015November 12, 2015

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Well, here it is. Our favorite greatest coach ever gets his shot as the new(ish) head man of the Buffalo Bills. The Bills visit Met Life Stadium at 4-4 (2-1) against a surprisingly competent Jets team, who is 5-3 (3-1). I'm not sure I'm comfortable with living in a world where

Start or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - October 2, 2015October 2, 2015

Week 4 kicked off last night with an abortion of a football game between the Steelers and Ravens, which I managed to catch only the very tail end of - the Josh Scobee missed field goal and the overtime inanity of the Steelers' playcalling. So all in all, this has

Start or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - September 25, 2015September 25, 2015

OK, Week 3 gearing up, and once again, work sucks, your lives are a mess, and the NFC East remains a radioactive clusterfuck. Some things never change, really! This is gonna be another short mailbag this week, because we seem to have a lack of #content being submitted to fill these

The 9 Circles of Leasts – Week 1

Duchess - September 15, 2015September 15, 2015

First Circle (Limbo) – Dez Bryant's broken foot, Josh McNown's Head, and Terrell Suggs torn Achilles. Second Circle (Lust) – Jamis Winston. The rookie QB showdown was great they combined for 7 touchdowns thrown... 5 of them were to Titan players and one of those 5 was thrown by Winston. Winston and

Nine Circles of Leasts – Preseason – Week 2

Duchess - August 25, 2015August 25, 2015

Imagine you are running wildly into the dark woods. You hear the thundering clamor of paws chasing you. In the faint moonlight, you see what looks to be a Lion, a Jaguar, and a She-Bear chasing you deeper and deeper into the woods until you come about a great hill. Fear not

9 Circles of Leasts – Week 1 Preseason

Duchess - August 19, 2015August 19, 2015

First Circle (Limbo) – Kevin White's shin - Severe shin splints lands Kevin White onto the PUP list leaving all Chicago fans to say "Yeah but look what ODB did in New York" Second Circle (Lust) – Brandon Weeden - Know what it takes to make a drunken party boy look

Geno Smith Channels Coach Ryan

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - August 12, 2015August 12, 2015

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New York Jets Locker Room - 8/11/15 Geno Smith: Man, what a long day of practice. I sure am glad I was able to get in here before everyone else. I just needed some time to myself. [Geno scans the empty locker room] Geno: It sure is different around here. The off season

Friendly Fire!

blaxabbath - August 11, 2015

The curse of posting previews too soon is now creeping across the nation. The worldwide leader reports that Jets Genoceptor namesake, Geno Smith, will be out 6 to 10 weeks with a fractured jaw after taking a "sucker punch" from second year linebacker Ikemefuna Enemkpali. I may have mixed up his first

It’s a K-O-N-Spiracy I!

Duchess - August 6, 2015August 6, 2015

I was pulling half of my "Great Ram Conspiracy" out of my gigantic ass. It looks like I am not that far off. Here let's dissect UponBlueReview's hottest taek from SI.com. This ENTIRE Fiasco Was A FRAME JOB Started by John Harbaugh when Tom Brady told him to "Learn the Rule