The 9 Circles of Leasts – Week 1

First Circle (Limbo) – Dez Bryant’s broken foot, Josh McNown’s Head,  and Terrell Suggs torn Achilles.

Second Circle (Lust) – Jamis Winston. The rookie QB showdown was great they combined for 7 touchdowns thrown… 5 of them were to Titan players and one of those 5 was thrown by Winston. Winston and Tampa Bay are working hard to ensure Lovie Smith is only in Tampa for 2 years.

Third Circle (Gluttony) – Eli Manning for someone having a sponsorship with a watch company yet not able to tell time. QB’s when you are nursing a lead take a sack. or let the play clock run down. Eli proved he was a boy playing Checkers when the rest were playing Chess.

Fourth Circle (Greed) – Johnny F’ing Football. NFL Network and everyone couldn’t be prouder of Johnny getting in there and tossing his first touchdown. Yet white washing the rest of his disastrous playing. The Jets made the Browns look like the Jets.

Fifth Circle (Anger) – Seahawk’s Coaching. They tried to be too cute and lost because of their poor decisions… Sound familiar?

Sixth Circle (Heresy) – The concept of playing defense in the NFL. It just didn’t happen this week. Patriots and Steelers would have given up 150yrds to a plastic bag blowing in the wind. Tampa Bay’s leading tackler was Chris Conte with 5. The Saints had a total of 44 tackles in their game. Sure there were a few great hits but there were far more teams shooting themselves in the foot than teams being overwhelmed by a defense.

Seventh Circle (Violence) – Adam “Stop Calling Me Pac-Man” Jones. Seriously a guy ripping of another player helmet and then grabbing him near the neck and shoving his head back into the helemt…oh thats a fine?  How, how is this only a fine? True if the helmet just fell off  but you can actually watch him pull the helmet off and push Amari Coopers head back into it

Eighth Circle (Fraud) – Anyone and everyone associated to and or watching the 49er’s/Viking’s game. I woke up today thinking it was Friday because that game was Thursday Night Football bad. The announcing was atrocious, the reffing was bad and the playing was even worse. The only good that came out of the game was watching Carl Brutananadilewski get a win.

Ninth Circle (Treachery) – Goodell

Other Notably Leasts: Pey Pey 2000 rusting over, Joe Flacco being so Elite he combusted, and Russell Wilson’s hubris in Tweet form.