CrimeBeat!: Breaking News Edition

WE NOW INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED "HARD RIDE TO NOWHERE" TO BRING YOU THIS SPECIAL REPORT: Ladies and gentlemen, good evening. I have the solemn duty to inform you that at 4:42 p.m., DFO Substandard Time on February 16, an unscheduled Jets Schadenfreude Day was launched from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Reports are still

Your “I Don’t Feel Pity – You Chose to Go” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Statement applies to both Jets fans and [DFO-CON] attendees. One group has better decision-making skills. NFL News: They arrested the shooter of Joe McKnight, and he's being charged with manslaughter. The decision partly comes down to the fact that McKnight got out of his car first, so the accused might claim

Hastily Assembled Much-Needed Mid-Season Hiatus, or, New York Jets at the Bye

(This is a collaborative effort between entropy and Senor Weaselo. We blame any and all errors on theweebabySeamus) The interior of a network executive's office, location undetermined, as all the window shades are drawn. The NETWORK EXECUTIVE is staring expectantly at the man in the first guest chair, who is hunched

CrimeBeat!: Death to the Mortals! Edition

Friends, Halloween is upon us. And to be frank, it's perhaps the most depressing holiday on the calendar for the precise life-space-time coordinates I currently inhabit. I'm 35. I'm happily married and have no kids. And that's the hole in the donut for Halloween. Age 1-13: Dress up and get candy. Age

CrimeBeat!: Peter Pantsless Edition

So here we are. We are here. And that's a shame, because on a bright, shiny Fall day we should not be indoors, chained to our computers like slaves to their oars in a Roman galley. We should be outside, feeling the cool air of Mother Nature's Menstrual Period rushing

Your 2016 New York Jets Preview

You Know What This Is.

Let's just get this out of the way now: Hello DFO and Welcome to your 2016 New York Jets Team Preview! (this concludes the portion of this preview that contains actual excitement) So. The New York Jets. Or Jest, or New York Yets, or the North Jersey "Show Us Your Tits!" Unlicensed New

Your “I Want Football And Boobs-Not Necessarily In That Order” Friday Night Open Thread

Aren't breasts of all kinds completely amazing in every way? Let me tell you about my latest experience that occurred just hours ago. I was at the grocery store and I was completely blown away by a perfect set. They were sticking out like a sore thumb at the deli